Buy Me, Dammit

Now,

Those of you who know me won't argue when I say, I am a patient person.

I know it takes time to sell a home. I know it's hard. I know it's a pain letting people traipse through your home, pretending you don't really mind, when the truth is, you don't really mind providing they won't stay past five minutes unless they are really intent on the place. I know all of this.

So I know that when a person returns a second time, it's usually to finalize a decision, yes, no, eh.

And that's hopeful, but not really exciting because eh, no offer, no joy.

But when someone comes, then sends the husband, that usually screams, I like this one. And you would expect then there to be a decision. Not a third visitation. With the father, or father in law.

Anyhow people.

With someone as patient as me, the thing you don't want to hear a realtor say, is the following:
"I've been here so often, I just had to sell your house."

Had. As in, past tense. Yes, he said Had. What does that MEAN!

I mean yes I know what it means, it means, he is supercalifragilisticexpalidotiously sure they will put in an offer.

But of course, to me, it is horrible. ARE they going to put in an offer? Tonight? Tomorrow? Are they going to think about it for a few days? Are they going to bring the Mother, mother-in-law and fifth cousin in first? Or are they going to out of the blue change their mind altogether? I've been around long enough to know it 'aint done til the papers are signed and money's in the bank.

PEOPLE, I am dying here. Buy me. Don't buy me.

But for the love of all that is me, Don't TEASE me!

p.s. the cigar smoke does mask the cat litter, but was frowned upon by my realtors, so I am sticking to Febreeze, ahh, that's nice.... pricey uber-masking fragrance.