While I sit here and add up today's calories to see if I can afford that Corona (yum), I thought I'd yammer on about the new thing...(Yep, that beer's mine) we are SO cutting edge here in Colorado...
I'm sure this isn't new to everyone.
It's the Raw Movement... a belief that the best way to eat everything is... well, raw. Your stove becomes storage (can you believe I just almost got my finger stuck in the corona bottle? How embarrassing would that have been? but my lime is stuck in the neck!) So you sprout beans and other things that sprout and eat those, you eat all your vegetables raw, and you incorporate more nuts into your diet and make milk out of nuts, like almond milk. Now, don't laugh at the almond milk. Seeing as my son can't have dairy, we run the gamut (is gamut a word?) from soy to rice to almond milk. Unless you're a total raw-ie, this essentially means you become a vegan, though some eat raw meat... You can use a dehydrator though.
Where am I on this? Well, I have the book, and it's got some interesting ideas and a lot of good information.(Lime has vitamin C, I think, so that's like, a plus for the beer) It's one of those situations where you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I cannot live without soup, my favorite meat, lamb, and warm cooked veggies such as eggplant and squash. Some eggplant just is BEGGING to be cooked. However, if you try to eat as much as you can raw, you end up, SURPRISE, eating healthily, because processed foods are not, well, raw. I really think what Americans need are a 'VEGGIE FAD" seriously. Lets face it. Most of our problems stem from the fact we have an aversion to vegetables more exotic than say, frozen brocoli, corn on the cob and carrots. Lettuce without a wrapper is suspicious. (Mmmm chilled Corona... I'm a simple woman...)
So, where does this leave mua? Nowhere new, really, except with some nifty new recipes to help me incorporate veggies and grains this family tends to lack, such as cauliflower, sweet potatoes (I LOVE sweet potatoes and replace russet potatoes with sweet potatoes, healthier and yummier) coconuts etc. I do plan on trying the Almond Milk recipe as soon as I figure out where to find a nutmilk bag. Not to be mistaken for other nut products, and having nothing to do with nut jokes or the nuts of the male half of the species.
Today, I just returned from the grocery store so my fruit-n-veggie platter is overflowing. That little idea for that big platter really is the best thing I did. Whenever it is empty, I know I need to shop, and the rule is the veggies and fruit get used, not tossed, so if something is looking pretty ripe, it's used somehow in dinner. The best thing is my kids eat tons of fruit and veggies, because it's what they see all day long.
I did add two new things that aren't usually there, and my new goal is to add a new veggie once a week, hopefully finding yummy recipes for usually ignored veggies.
This week we have butternut squash, which I love, and cauliflower, which I understand, is great cooked and mashed.
So the raw movement is great for the promotion of vegetables, but what I am interested in is traditional Chinese medicine.
According to my supermarket flyer magazine (yes they have one) food in TCM (traditional chinese medicine) is warm, cool or neutral. Yang is the energy that dominates the summer months and Yin the winter, and when we are in the Yang months, we need cool, foods such as vegetables, fruits and juices, mainly raw, and fish and chicken. In the winter, we need warm foods such as red meat and pork, and heavier herbs and butter and so on and so forth. This seems to be more in line with how I feel.
This is my courtesy recipe of the week, but it's my normal breakfast. This is quick and filling, and frankly, not original... but boy did I feel clever figuring it out on my own... Oh, and my kids LOVE this breakfast, too, though Turbo and Bear get soy yogurt. BTW, I hear soy milk is great in smoothies, rather than milk. I know this because Turbo and Bear didn't drink all of it at Mama and Papa Bear's house, so Mama Bear used it in her smoothie.
Some vanilla or plain yogurt, not flavored, and light.
Put in cup or bowl (even if it's one of those individual sizes, but it's becuase I'm picky about my granola)
Toss in some granola (proper granola, that's healthy and good for you and does not contain chocolate, or m and ms..)
A bit o flaxseed, cuz why not.
Fresh berries if any are on hand.
Yum. And better for you than cereal, and a lot more filling than you'd think.
Oh and, anyone have any ideas on what to do with coconuts? I bought them since they were on sale!
(new cast notes... Mama and Papa Bear equal Fatherinlaw and wife... Grandma Bear and Grandpa Bear equal Motherinlaw and husband... and yes yes it's corny but whatever)
Friday, July 06, 2007
Lakes... in the middle of nowhere
Well, ten minutes down the road, to be exact, and protected from urban sprawl by fields. So really, it's like, a huge lake surrounded by fields, that makes you think you are in the plains states, and someone managed to toss a lake in some previously useful farm land.
It was the view. See, on one side of me, mountains. On the other, flat lands. I can see for miles... and miles... The lake part is all plains. The mountains were behind me and 30 minutes the other way. It's nice that we are only 15 minutes from the mountains, but sometimes, when I don't see them, I get confused and think I'm in Nebraska.
Minus the corn.
So, guess what I did today?
Yep. Took the kiddies to one of the few natural glacier deposit lakes that is now a reservoir, and let them play right by the water, because they love the lake, but aren't inclined to actually go IN it. Drama and I went in it.
Highlights of the Day:
* Spending an hour finding one swim shoe
* Hottie McLifeguard
* Daughter seeing member of opposite sex she found appealing and blurting out 'Cutie Alert'
*Making water tunnels for trains
*Realizing not a lot of people bother going to this big empty lake, and prefer crowded city swimming pools
* Realizing it's cheaper for me to take my truckload o' kids and pay for parking rather than pay for all the kids and me in a crowded city swimming pool.
* Going grocery shopping with toddlers that had fallen asleep two minutes prior to entering the parking lot
* Hubby McRed suggesting I may be turning into a vegetable because I bought him organic beer... he meant vegetable as in vegetarian. It seems that for a primordial carnivore, a diet consisting of lots of vegetables is slightly alarming, and can throw word usage off. Why he equated organic beer with vegetables, I'm not certain. Perhaps he thinks they snuck some carrots in it?
* Buying organic beer because, why, heck-n-crap, it cost as much as regular beer and I was curious
* Coming home and not having to cook (Tonight's dinner is a yummy cheat salad of mozarella, basil and tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and black pepper... not a full meal per se, but it's hot and I'm not that hungry)
* Figuring out the secret to good iced coffee made in the blender
Okay, on that last one I cheated, and googled it.
It's how I find my calories, too, I google for calorie calculators.
It was the view. See, on one side of me, mountains. On the other, flat lands. I can see for miles... and miles... The lake part is all plains. The mountains were behind me and 30 minutes the other way. It's nice that we are only 15 minutes from the mountains, but sometimes, when I don't see them, I get confused and think I'm in Nebraska.
Minus the corn.
So, guess what I did today?
Yep. Took the kiddies to one of the few natural glacier deposit lakes that is now a reservoir, and let them play right by the water, because they love the lake, but aren't inclined to actually go IN it. Drama and I went in it.
Highlights of the Day:
* Spending an hour finding one swim shoe
* Hottie McLifeguard
* Daughter seeing member of opposite sex she found appealing and blurting out 'Cutie Alert'
*Making water tunnels for trains
*Realizing not a lot of people bother going to this big empty lake, and prefer crowded city swimming pools
* Realizing it's cheaper for me to take my truckload o' kids and pay for parking rather than pay for all the kids and me in a crowded city swimming pool.
* Going grocery shopping with toddlers that had fallen asleep two minutes prior to entering the parking lot
* Hubby McRed suggesting I may be turning into a vegetable because I bought him organic beer... he meant vegetable as in vegetarian. It seems that for a primordial carnivore, a diet consisting of lots of vegetables is slightly alarming, and can throw word usage off. Why he equated organic beer with vegetables, I'm not certain. Perhaps he thinks they snuck some carrots in it?
* Buying organic beer because, why, heck-n-crap, it cost as much as regular beer and I was curious
* Coming home and not having to cook (Tonight's dinner is a yummy cheat salad of mozarella, basil and tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and black pepper... not a full meal per se, but it's hot and I'm not that hungry)
* Figuring out the secret to good iced coffee made in the blender
Okay, on that last one I cheated, and googled it.
It's how I find my calories, too, I google for calorie calculators.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The Math of Losing Weight
Whatever weight you are, if you want to lose weight, you must eat 500 less calories than the weight needed to maintain your current weight, and exercise 500 calories off a day.
The shocker?
Because I'm short, I am allotted less calories than, oh, everyone else.
Ahhh... the HORROR....
Truthfully though, I'm not craving or starving, and since I'm eating the right foods, I'm not starving.
My real concern is when I hit the point where I'm only eating 1500 calories a day (I am, like, five feet tall, so technically should only eat 1200 calories a DAY...HORROR...) I will need to be really good and it will take a bit longer unless I discover a love of long distance running.... ha ha ha....
The shocker?
Because I'm short, I am allotted less calories than, oh, everyone else.
Ahhh... the HORROR....
Truthfully though, I'm not craving or starving, and since I'm eating the right foods, I'm not starving.
My real concern is when I hit the point where I'm only eating 1500 calories a day (I am, like, five feet tall, so technically should only eat 1200 calories a DAY...HORROR...) I will need to be really good and it will take a bit longer unless I discover a love of long distance running.... ha ha ha....
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Yoga for Kids
First night of yoga for kids a success.
Drama girl was grumpy because she can't do yoga since her room isn't clean, and she's also going to do the adult yoga, she's old enough.
Turbo doesn't just jump into new things, so he sat and watched me and Bear and the show, and occasionally did a pose or two.
Bear loved it, so Bear and I were trees, butterflies, volcanoes, dogs, and other things. He liked being a tree, and said we should also do branches, and the volcano.
Bear didn't quite hit the correct form, but we can work on that once it is routine. If I tried to get them to do every pose right, they would revolt and not do it. Because Bear did most of the poses, he's expended some energy. Of course, they didn't do the relaxing poses, but again, I think that will come.
This is a 35 minute tape so we'll be using this as our bedtime routine. It's fun, too!
Drama girl was grumpy because she can't do yoga since her room isn't clean, and she's also going to do the adult yoga, she's old enough.
Turbo doesn't just jump into new things, so he sat and watched me and Bear and the show, and occasionally did a pose or two.
Bear loved it, so Bear and I were trees, butterflies, volcanoes, dogs, and other things. He liked being a tree, and said we should also do branches, and the volcano.
Bear didn't quite hit the correct form, but we can work on that once it is routine. If I tried to get them to do every pose right, they would revolt and not do it. Because Bear did most of the poses, he's expended some energy. Of course, they didn't do the relaxing poses, but again, I think that will come.
This is a 35 minute tape so we'll be using this as our bedtime routine. It's fun, too!
Back to the Mundane
Let me suggest something to all of you.
Do Not Fly.
If you do fly,
Do Not Check Your Bags.
If you check your bags,
Don't Say I Didn't Warn You.
If you check your bags, and your flight is canceled or delayed and you don't have your bags, you can't just get on a stand by list as easily, because they also need to find and move your bags.
The horrors, oh, the horrors, of popping out about 1K in tickets, only to find that your flight was canceled, and that they scheduled you for the FOLLOWING day without, of course, notifying you. That was not acceptable, and I had to get to my destination using two different airlines than the one I booked, and giving up the shorter tail end flight, making my brother drive two hours instead of twenty minutes to pick us up.
This, of course, is the 'norm' now.
The problem is, is when did Americans become so complacent with bad service, that they accept 'it's the weather and we can't control the weather' as an excuse for overbooking, lost luggage, bankrupt airlines (probably because of their wonderful customer service) lack of actual PEOPLE to help you when you have issues (try finding an airline representative at a gate, inside security) and a complete disregard for the American flying population that they simply brush off our complaints with an arrogant contempt? Or with canned managerial responses that equate to 'It is not our fault, it's not our fault, it's not our fault, it's never our fault.' It's the equivalent to the Air Force's "It was a weather balloon" explanation for everything from natural phenomena to test flights to things they themselves couldn't figure out.
They also accidentally wiped my daughter and I off of our return flight. /roll eyes/ there is nothing like paying for something, not getting it, and then, being expected to be happy that eventually they got you to where you were going. Imagine buying a red convertible with four seats and when you pick up the car, you get a two door, two seat hard top. No one would put up with it. But we put up with an antiquated airline system run by airline companies that don't seem to care about their passengers. Shoot, some airlines don't even offer cheezy bags of peanuts anymore!
Someone needs to put a swift boot in the airline industry's ass and help them join our century.
Another time, probably my other blog, I'll talk about this past week, the three days I spent in the middle of nowhere Indiana with my brothers and sister and father, visiting my very ill mother. She was expected to pass away, but apparently, no one informed her. You go Ma. But sadly, there is only one destination for her now, and it's not so much a road as a short, dirt path that will reach it's destination soon.
Do Not Fly.
If you do fly,
Do Not Check Your Bags.
If you check your bags,
Don't Say I Didn't Warn You.
If you check your bags, and your flight is canceled or delayed and you don't have your bags, you can't just get on a stand by list as easily, because they also need to find and move your bags.
The horrors, oh, the horrors, of popping out about 1K in tickets, only to find that your flight was canceled, and that they scheduled you for the FOLLOWING day without, of course, notifying you. That was not acceptable, and I had to get to my destination using two different airlines than the one I booked, and giving up the shorter tail end flight, making my brother drive two hours instead of twenty minutes to pick us up.
This, of course, is the 'norm' now.
The problem is, is when did Americans become so complacent with bad service, that they accept 'it's the weather and we can't control the weather' as an excuse for overbooking, lost luggage, bankrupt airlines (probably because of their wonderful customer service) lack of actual PEOPLE to help you when you have issues (try finding an airline representative at a gate, inside security) and a complete disregard for the American flying population that they simply brush off our complaints with an arrogant contempt? Or with canned managerial responses that equate to 'It is not our fault, it's not our fault, it's not our fault, it's never our fault.' It's the equivalent to the Air Force's "It was a weather balloon" explanation for everything from natural phenomena to test flights to things they themselves couldn't figure out.
They also accidentally wiped my daughter and I off of our return flight. /roll eyes/ there is nothing like paying for something, not getting it, and then, being expected to be happy that eventually they got you to where you were going. Imagine buying a red convertible with four seats and when you pick up the car, you get a two door, two seat hard top. No one would put up with it. But we put up with an antiquated airline system run by airline companies that don't seem to care about their passengers. Shoot, some airlines don't even offer cheezy bags of peanuts anymore!
Someone needs to put a swift boot in the airline industry's ass and help them join our century.
Another time, probably my other blog, I'll talk about this past week, the three days I spent in the middle of nowhere Indiana with my brothers and sister and father, visiting my very ill mother. She was expected to pass away, but apparently, no one informed her. You go Ma. But sadly, there is only one destination for her now, and it's not so much a road as a short, dirt path that will reach it's destination soon.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Garbage Bag Method of Cleaning
This is what I use on my daughter, and will use on my sons.
Right now, I regularly toss the boys toys away, but they are too young to notice...
My eldest, Drama Girl, is ten though.
We've been employing this method successfully since she's been four.
You give her the news ahead of time, and set up the rules.
You have to clean your room, and you can't come out until it's done, have fun, knock yourself out, however, if it's not done by Friday night, then Saturday we're going to do it Mommy's Way.
Mommy's way is the Garbage Bag method. I usually have to employ it once every four to six months.
It helps children prioritize between their best loved treasures and things they could (and should) get rid of.
The rules are, clean everything up in this amount of time and what ever is left on the floor gets tossed, and you don't get to be in the room....
I say, okay, and go in and empty out the toy bins of things that don't belong there, leaving actual toys in the bins. Tags, cardboard boxes, socks, shoes and t-shirts, along with empty shopping bags, get thrown into the middle of the floor. Sometimes it's necessary to throw the whole bin out but that's up to Mom.
Then I pull the red metal bin out. This is the bin where she can keep all her papers, drawings, pictures etc. I bought all her bins from target, by the way. This one is on wheels and hides in her closet, where Mommy rarely has to see it. Once this bin is full, she has to go through it, or never add to it again.
She has a predetermined amount of time to take all the things in the middle of her floor and put them in bins, toss them in the trash, throw them in the laundry pile, or put them in her desk.
Usually about an hour, two if I'm feeling generous.
At the end of this time period, Mom goes in, kicks Drama girl out (it is imperative they leave the room) and tosses everything left on the floor in the trash can.
She always asks for more time. The answer has to be no. This, in their eyes, means that you won't actually throw the toys away.
The first few times I got to throw a LOT of junk away, because she didn't believe I couldn't be as attached to her 'things' as she was. HA HA HA.
Now, I only need to throw things out every other year or so. Today, I may throw things out, because it's been so long since I've done this she seems to have 'forgotten' I am big on throwing things out.
And you never get mad at them for not finishing, and never say 'SEE< if you just cleaned this big bag wouldn't be going in the dump....'
Just say, Sorry, I wish you finished too. It sucks. Okay, well, it's clean now, sooo... enjoy!
Off to go fill up the garbage bag now....
Right now, I regularly toss the boys toys away, but they are too young to notice...
My eldest, Drama Girl, is ten though.
We've been employing this method successfully since she's been four.
You give her the news ahead of time, and set up the rules.
You have to clean your room, and you can't come out until it's done, have fun, knock yourself out, however, if it's not done by Friday night, then Saturday we're going to do it Mommy's Way.
Mommy's way is the Garbage Bag method. I usually have to employ it once every four to six months.
It helps children prioritize between their best loved treasures and things they could (and should) get rid of.
The rules are, clean everything up in this amount of time and what ever is left on the floor gets tossed, and you don't get to be in the room....
I say, okay, and go in and empty out the toy bins of things that don't belong there, leaving actual toys in the bins. Tags, cardboard boxes, socks, shoes and t-shirts, along with empty shopping bags, get thrown into the middle of the floor. Sometimes it's necessary to throw the whole bin out but that's up to Mom.
Then I pull the red metal bin out. This is the bin where she can keep all her papers, drawings, pictures etc. I bought all her bins from target, by the way. This one is on wheels and hides in her closet, where Mommy rarely has to see it. Once this bin is full, she has to go through it, or never add to it again.
She has a predetermined amount of time to take all the things in the middle of her floor and put them in bins, toss them in the trash, throw them in the laundry pile, or put them in her desk.
Usually about an hour, two if I'm feeling generous.
At the end of this time period, Mom goes in, kicks Drama girl out (it is imperative they leave the room) and tosses everything left on the floor in the trash can.
She always asks for more time. The answer has to be no. This, in their eyes, means that you won't actually throw the toys away.
The first few times I got to throw a LOT of junk away, because she didn't believe I couldn't be as attached to her 'things' as she was. HA HA HA.
Now, I only need to throw things out every other year or so. Today, I may throw things out, because it's been so long since I've done this she seems to have 'forgotten' I am big on throwing things out.
And you never get mad at them for not finishing, and never say 'SEE< if you just cleaned this big bag wouldn't be going in the dump....'
Just say, Sorry, I wish you finished too. It sucks. Okay, well, it's clean now, sooo... enjoy!
Off to go fill up the garbage bag now....
Friday, June 22, 2007
Lahdeedah's Super Secret
So here is the thing that keeps me straight all day long, and not giving in to cravings...
You are what you eat.
So every time I pick something up, I think, do I want to be this?
For instance, sugary cereal. Do I want to be a big sugary blob? No.
Kashi whole grain cereal. Do I want to be thin stalks of wheat and happy grain? Yes.
Big refined bag of white flour? No. (i.e. good bye white bread and processed foods)
Light, ethereal mass of floaty cous cous? Yes.
Fresh, bright eggplant? Yes.
Okay some of it is the language, but you know, it works!
And when I get hungry, I drink a glass of water before I eat... that also helps.
Like you know, I KNOW that this information is not new, but it's the only thing that helped things 'click' for me, so now I'm seeing results.
You are what you eat.
So every time I pick something up, I think, do I want to be this?
For instance, sugary cereal. Do I want to be a big sugary blob? No.
Kashi whole grain cereal. Do I want to be thin stalks of wheat and happy grain? Yes.
Big refined bag of white flour? No. (i.e. good bye white bread and processed foods)
Light, ethereal mass of floaty cous cous? Yes.
Fresh, bright eggplant? Yes.
Okay some of it is the language, but you know, it works!
And when I get hungry, I drink a glass of water before I eat... that also helps.
Like you know, I KNOW that this information is not new, but it's the only thing that helped things 'click' for me, so now I'm seeing results.
Yummy Dessert Salad
Also known as Raspberry Chicken Salad.
Betty Crocker's Healthy New Choices cookbook is where my yummiest healthy recipes come from, that and the 'best of' cooking light seasonal mags. Though this latest summer issue has some yummies in it.
Okay, here goes....
Salad...
Mixed salad greens (duh, it's a salad) any kind you like
2 cups cooked, cut up chicken breast
1 cup fresh raspberries
1/3 cup thinly sliced celery
pepper optional
Dressing...
1 cup plain fat free yogurt (I used lowfat)
1/2 cup fresh raspberries
1 tablespoon rasberry or red wine vinegar (I found a raspberry vinegar dressing)
Mix in blender for 15 seconds on high until smooth.
The dressing is sooo yummy especially if you chill it.
Toss everything together.
Put Raspberry dressing on it.
My daughter LOVED it.
I made a fruit salad for the boys because they don't like raspberries (what is wrong with them?)
This was more filling than I thought it would be, and it is so perfect as a summer dinner. If you want to impress your friends with your healthy cuisine and culinary expertise, I suppose you could add chilled white wine. It's literally refreshing. Considering it was 90 last night here, it was perfect.
For those who think this sort of eating is a waste of time, HA, I'd like to announce that another inch is missing, and I am not looking for it.
I might also point out this also means you must eat a fairly healthy breakfast and lunch...
Betty Crocker's Healthy New Choices cookbook is where my yummiest healthy recipes come from, that and the 'best of' cooking light seasonal mags. Though this latest summer issue has some yummies in it.
Okay, here goes....
Salad...
Mixed salad greens (duh, it's a salad) any kind you like
2 cups cooked, cut up chicken breast
1 cup fresh raspberries
1/3 cup thinly sliced celery
pepper optional
Dressing...
1 cup plain fat free yogurt (I used lowfat)
1/2 cup fresh raspberries
1 tablespoon rasberry or red wine vinegar (I found a raspberry vinegar dressing)
Mix in blender for 15 seconds on high until smooth.
The dressing is sooo yummy especially if you chill it.
Toss everything together.
Put Raspberry dressing on it.
My daughter LOVED it.
I made a fruit salad for the boys because they don't like raspberries (what is wrong with them?)
This was more filling than I thought it would be, and it is so perfect as a summer dinner. If you want to impress your friends with your healthy cuisine and culinary expertise, I suppose you could add chilled white wine. It's literally refreshing. Considering it was 90 last night here, it was perfect.
For those who think this sort of eating is a waste of time, HA, I'd like to announce that another inch is missing, and I am not looking for it.
I might also point out this also means you must eat a fairly healthy breakfast and lunch...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I was cool.
I had a cool job. I had an office, with a window even!
I got to wear jeans to work. I got to wear shorts. Sneakers. Hats. If I really wanted, I could have worn pajamas.
And no, I didn't work from home.
Ah, and here I am, in Colorado...
...unemployed....
...siiiggghhhh......
I had a cool job. I had an office, with a window even!
I got to wear jeans to work. I got to wear shorts. Sneakers. Hats. If I really wanted, I could have worn pajamas.
And no, I didn't work from home.
Ah, and here I am, in Colorado...
...unemployed....
...siiiggghhhh......
Monday, June 18, 2007
The Grocery Store Mom
I have become that which I have always pitied.
The one creature I swore I would never be.
You have all seen Her, for it is always a Her.
She is the woman with the half filled grocery cart, list in hand.
She is in comfortable clothing, never heels, never anything that will constrict her movement.
She comes with children, messy-haired, often with food-encrusted faces, and stained clothing. You can't be sure what they look like, they move to fast, speak too loudly and if you do try to stare, you will slowly begin to feel dizzy, followed by a mind-numbing thrumming you hear in your head, and then, you will see the yellowish color that usually precedes a faint.
These children, who start off with shoes but may lose them at some point, are an extension of the Woman.
They are loud, and She is loud. They do not stay in any one place, but rather move around the Woman in a circular motion, dancing, stomping, crawling, singing, fast, fast, loud, loud, never slow, never soft. She too, is in constant motion, an arm stretching here to pull one back, a twirl there to catch another, a bend and reach to look into the eyes of a third. A 'good job' and kiss when one surprises her with obedience.
Her voice can be heard loudly several aisles down, corralling the wild ones, her goal -- simply to keep them as close to the cart as possible. She does not deal with the noise. The noise is to them what oxygen is to us.
She is a menace to those trying to get down the same aisle, because though there is room for two carts, the constant motion of Children and Mom around the cart block the way. It takes a large and loud effort of high-pitched noises on the part of the Woman to make the cyclone of children stop and stand by the cart. This noise can be heard 14 aisles down, and in produce.
The elder sibling, who should know better, brings organization to the scattered children, leading them to higher and higher states of frenzied behavior. They now dance and sing loudly in the aisle, rather than simply hopping and jumping around the cart.
The Woman is always trying to find a bottle or box or carton of something, usually pushed all the way back by one of the children. At the same time, she is imploring the wayward creatures to use walking feet, enticing compliance with a mix of rules, threats and treats.
By the time this Woman, this MOM has made it to the cash register, she has lines on her face that were not there before, a cart full of mostly things on the list, some strange items she politely explains she does not want, and usually spends a few moments digging through the cart for her purse, since during the first few aisles, it becomes buried. By this time, she's composed herself, and dons a fake plastered smile that dares the world to believe she wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world, that this is nothing to her, not even the zle in frazzle. And when they kindly ask if she would like help, the answer is most usually yes, because it takes everything just to get the children to the car, never mind the groceries as well.
This is the Grocery Store Mom.
If you see Her, be kind, and simply go down the next aisle and back track, because She can not leave and come back later. She needs the food, has already put off the trip several times, and is there because She can no longer wait. It is not her intent to annoy you, make you grumpier, or inflict her misbehaving bored children on you. In fact, She went because it is a time that nobody else ever goes. If you feel you must scowl, or glower or glare, it is okay. She will not see it. She will not even be aware of your presence, such is the strength of her resolve to 'get this shopping done' and the intensity with which She tends to the children.
Her goal is to get in and out as fast as possible, and while She would love it if her children were silent, complacent passengers on the trip, it is the nature of her children to be loud and in motion, and the mere fact they are in the same aisle as the Woman is an amazing achievement that can only be appreciated by other creatures with multiple offspring.
The one creature I swore I would never be.
You have all seen Her, for it is always a Her.
She is the woman with the half filled grocery cart, list in hand.
She is in comfortable clothing, never heels, never anything that will constrict her movement.
She comes with children, messy-haired, often with food-encrusted faces, and stained clothing. You can't be sure what they look like, they move to fast, speak too loudly and if you do try to stare, you will slowly begin to feel dizzy, followed by a mind-numbing thrumming you hear in your head, and then, you will see the yellowish color that usually precedes a faint.
These children, who start off with shoes but may lose them at some point, are an extension of the Woman.
They are loud, and She is loud. They do not stay in any one place, but rather move around the Woman in a circular motion, dancing, stomping, crawling, singing, fast, fast, loud, loud, never slow, never soft. She too, is in constant motion, an arm stretching here to pull one back, a twirl there to catch another, a bend and reach to look into the eyes of a third. A 'good job' and kiss when one surprises her with obedience.
Her voice can be heard loudly several aisles down, corralling the wild ones, her goal -- simply to keep them as close to the cart as possible. She does not deal with the noise. The noise is to them what oxygen is to us.
She is a menace to those trying to get down the same aisle, because though there is room for two carts, the constant motion of Children and Mom around the cart block the way. It takes a large and loud effort of high-pitched noises on the part of the Woman to make the cyclone of children stop and stand by the cart. This noise can be heard 14 aisles down, and in produce.
The elder sibling, who should know better, brings organization to the scattered children, leading them to higher and higher states of frenzied behavior. They now dance and sing loudly in the aisle, rather than simply hopping and jumping around the cart.
The Woman is always trying to find a bottle or box or carton of something, usually pushed all the way back by one of the children. At the same time, she is imploring the wayward creatures to use walking feet, enticing compliance with a mix of rules, threats and treats.
By the time this Woman, this MOM has made it to the cash register, she has lines on her face that were not there before, a cart full of mostly things on the list, some strange items she politely explains she does not want, and usually spends a few moments digging through the cart for her purse, since during the first few aisles, it becomes buried. By this time, she's composed herself, and dons a fake plastered smile that dares the world to believe she wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world, that this is nothing to her, not even the zle in frazzle. And when they kindly ask if she would like help, the answer is most usually yes, because it takes everything just to get the children to the car, never mind the groceries as well.
This is the Grocery Store Mom.
If you see Her, be kind, and simply go down the next aisle and back track, because She can not leave and come back later. She needs the food, has already put off the trip several times, and is there because She can no longer wait. It is not her intent to annoy you, make you grumpier, or inflict her misbehaving bored children on you. In fact, She went because it is a time that nobody else ever goes. If you feel you must scowl, or glower or glare, it is okay. She will not see it. She will not even be aware of your presence, such is the strength of her resolve to 'get this shopping done' and the intensity with which She tends to the children.
Her goal is to get in and out as fast as possible, and while She would love it if her children were silent, complacent passengers on the trip, it is the nature of her children to be loud and in motion, and the mere fact they are in the same aisle as the Woman is an amazing achievement that can only be appreciated by other creatures with multiple offspring.
Random Drug Conversations
My daughter is ten.
Occasionally, we have random drug talks. Along with random alcohol talks, random cigarette talks, and some skirting about the sex talks.
Today was random drugs.
Today's discussion included prescription drugs, her friend's prescription drugs, her friends ADD drugs and the sad sad truth that if her friends started doing drugs, she'd have to say no, and would more than likely lose them as a friend, but it was far more important to be true to yourself, then make the wrong choices your friends make.
I also explained that, no, it is not possible to be friends with your friends if they do drugs, because they would hang out with other kids who do drugs, and when you got together, that would pretty much be what was going on. I mean lets give our kids credit, if we teach them they can say no, then they can. At the same time, lets understand the pre-teen and teen mentality... do as others around you do. This doesn't mean they aren't capable of individuality, but the reality is, they are far more prone to try to be like the kids around them. If you are constantly hanging around kids that do drugs, eventually, you're not going to see the point in saying no.
Also included in this little random chat that she started, was the issue of adults giving their teenage kids and friends alcohol. This is where my rant starts.
I do not believe it is ever okay for an adult to provide alcohol to a kid's friends. I do not want my daughter drinking underage. Will she? Possibly. Will I laugh it off? No, I would have a very serious discussion with her about it. If I sent my child over to a party, where there was parental supervision, to me, parental supervision means there will be no alcohol served. Another parent does not have the right to break the law and provide my child with alcohol. If said parent does that, said parent deserves to be in court. I just don't approve of parents making the decision to serve alcohol to another parent's child, because they think hell, the kids will do it anyway.
Which brings me to 'kids will do it anyway, might as well do it where we can control it.'
Well that's a good attitude. First, your kids 'may not' do 'whatever' anyway, if you as a parent have open discussions and talks. They may actually say 'no thanks.' Second, if your child did do it anyway, doesn't necessarily mean you have to condone it. You could, oh, say, parent your child. You could impart consequences to this action. I.e. you go out and get drunk, you then get grounded., along with a nice nifty lecture on the dangers of drinking at such a young age.
I am not against drinking, just irresponsible drinking, and lets face it, teenagers who drink do not drink responsibly.
My daughter will be confronted with the issue of drugs, drinking, smoking and sex, throughout the course of her teen years. I am teaching her to say no. I am talking to her about how dangerous it is and why. On all four issues. Does this mean she will never drink, smoke, take a drug or have sex? Hopefully, she will say no. But if she does, I, as a parent, will not just shrug my shoulders and say ah well, she's a kid, they all do it. I will address the issue, talk to her about it, explain the consequences and if it's drugs, there will be parental consequences, if it's drinking, the same, if it's sex, yeah, that's a tricky one, but there'd be a consequence, but more of a very serious talk about sex and partners and all that, that one is tricky. Hopefully, she won't get there until she's mature enough to handle it.
I will never, however, help kids drink or smoke or any of that, just because 'they would do it anyway.'
Occasionally, we have random drug talks. Along with random alcohol talks, random cigarette talks, and some skirting about the sex talks.
Today was random drugs.
Today's discussion included prescription drugs, her friend's prescription drugs, her friends ADD drugs and the sad sad truth that if her friends started doing drugs, she'd have to say no, and would more than likely lose them as a friend, but it was far more important to be true to yourself, then make the wrong choices your friends make.
I also explained that, no, it is not possible to be friends with your friends if they do drugs, because they would hang out with other kids who do drugs, and when you got together, that would pretty much be what was going on. I mean lets give our kids credit, if we teach them they can say no, then they can. At the same time, lets understand the pre-teen and teen mentality... do as others around you do. This doesn't mean they aren't capable of individuality, but the reality is, they are far more prone to try to be like the kids around them. If you are constantly hanging around kids that do drugs, eventually, you're not going to see the point in saying no.
Also included in this little random chat that she started, was the issue of adults giving their teenage kids and friends alcohol. This is where my rant starts.
I do not believe it is ever okay for an adult to provide alcohol to a kid's friends. I do not want my daughter drinking underage. Will she? Possibly. Will I laugh it off? No, I would have a very serious discussion with her about it. If I sent my child over to a party, where there was parental supervision, to me, parental supervision means there will be no alcohol served. Another parent does not have the right to break the law and provide my child with alcohol. If said parent does that, said parent deserves to be in court. I just don't approve of parents making the decision to serve alcohol to another parent's child, because they think hell, the kids will do it anyway.
Which brings me to 'kids will do it anyway, might as well do it where we can control it.'
Well that's a good attitude. First, your kids 'may not' do 'whatever' anyway, if you as a parent have open discussions and talks. They may actually say 'no thanks.' Second, if your child did do it anyway, doesn't necessarily mean you have to condone it. You could, oh, say, parent your child. You could impart consequences to this action. I.e. you go out and get drunk, you then get grounded., along with a nice nifty lecture on the dangers of drinking at such a young age.
I am not against drinking, just irresponsible drinking, and lets face it, teenagers who drink do not drink responsibly.
My daughter will be confronted with the issue of drugs, drinking, smoking and sex, throughout the course of her teen years. I am teaching her to say no. I am talking to her about how dangerous it is and why. On all four issues. Does this mean she will never drink, smoke, take a drug or have sex? Hopefully, she will say no. But if she does, I, as a parent, will not just shrug my shoulders and say ah well, she's a kid, they all do it. I will address the issue, talk to her about it, explain the consequences and if it's drugs, there will be parental consequences, if it's drinking, the same, if it's sex, yeah, that's a tricky one, but there'd be a consequence, but more of a very serious talk about sex and partners and all that, that one is tricky. Hopefully, she won't get there until she's mature enough to handle it.
I will never, however, help kids drink or smoke or any of that, just because 'they would do it anyway.'
Saturday, June 16, 2007
The Lost Inch
Yes.
I lost an inch.
Not in height.
GO ME.
This from just changing a couple of evening meals around, not snacking so much and eating a healthier breakfast. Well, okay, actually eating breakfast.
The funny thing is, this time around, I don't miss the food that is bad for you. For instance, I can happily eat and ENJOY (gasps) a boca burger (soy burger) and not miss the cheeseburger. I don't like the fries, now that the substance they cook it in won't kill you (no wonder they resisted that change) and since there are no more m and m bags lurking around the house, I'm good.
Since Daddy McRed isn't fussing about the changes, I can add more.
MUHAHAHAHAH
And I'm off the diet coke except for when we eat out or other special occasions or places they don't serve carbonated bubbly water with lemon slices.
So, with all these changes firmly in place, expect to hear me yammer on and on about another inch lost soon.
I am not stopping til I lose two more inches!
... and then when I get there, I will contemplate whether or not it's humanly feasible to go down another inch or two.. I believe in baby steps here.
Oh, and I haven't stepped on a scale. I simply refuse. What good is a scale, but a sad reminder that no, indeed, one is not as lean as one would have liked....
I lost an inch.
Not in height.
GO ME.
This from just changing a couple of evening meals around, not snacking so much and eating a healthier breakfast. Well, okay, actually eating breakfast.
The funny thing is, this time around, I don't miss the food that is bad for you. For instance, I can happily eat and ENJOY (gasps) a boca burger (soy burger) and not miss the cheeseburger. I don't like the fries, now that the substance they cook it in won't kill you (no wonder they resisted that change) and since there are no more m and m bags lurking around the house, I'm good.
Since Daddy McRed isn't fussing about the changes, I can add more.
MUHAHAHAHAH
And I'm off the diet coke except for when we eat out or other special occasions or places they don't serve carbonated bubbly water with lemon slices.
So, with all these changes firmly in place, expect to hear me yammer on and on about another inch lost soon.
I am not stopping til I lose two more inches!
... and then when I get there, I will contemplate whether or not it's humanly feasible to go down another inch or two.. I believe in baby steps here.
Oh, and I haven't stepped on a scale. I simply refuse. What good is a scale, but a sad reminder that no, indeed, one is not as lean as one would have liked....
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The (soon to be) Healthy Family
Changing eating habits and portion sizes that are questionable to healthy eating habits with decent portion sizes is hard. But I'm learning that once you learn how to do it, it's as easy as maintaining the awful eating habits of before. They key is to not be insane about it. Like, Chili is not going to go away. Stroganoff will no longer be a staple meal, but it will occasionally make an appearance once every few weeks. We won't ever have a box of cupcakes in this house (my ass can't take it) but there will be the occasional cookie. We may never buy chocolate bars (I can't take children after candy) but we will have granola bars and fruit bars and the occasional CHOCOLATE granola bars :).
I've successfully managed to find three 'healthy staple' dinner meals. Bye bye stroganoff, hello salmon and rice. Bye-bye generic boxed meal of processed foods and really fatty meat, hello steak salad. Our third is Mexican Skillet Chicken, which is good for you AND a long time staple in this house. Everyone just loves it.
I need four more, and I'm pretty sure that my 'Northern Bean Italian Salad' is not going to be one of them.... but you can't blame me for trying! I do a chili everyone loves, and that's once a week in the fall, but only once every two weeks here so it's not really a summer staple. I also have a Beef Burgundy Stew which is delightfully healthy and is a fall/winter staple, but again, it's summer. Cooking Light is my favorite (and only) cooking mag that I get seasonally. Betty Crocker's healthy lifestyle cook book is good, too. If anyone has any other suggestions...
The Goal to Eliminate Soda in the Household is going very well. The boys only drink it when someone foolishly leaves a can of, say, Cherry Coke, say, on the table and it's found by a toddler who then drinks half the can before announcing that, hey Daddy, I found your soda.... seeing as the child never has caffeine and is limited in sugar intake, you can imagine the scene that followed about five minutes later until two hours later when he finally collapsed.... We have the last cans of soda to be bought and once those are gone, finito. Nobody really cares. Drama Girl rarely had anything besides Sprite, and even more rarely a coke or diet coke. I'm the Diet Coke addict, but I've stocked up on Lemons and Fizzy Water (it's all about the bubbly for me) and only have three cans left. They are my 'aaaah I NEEEED one...' cans to help. By tomorrow night there will be no more diet coke.
Cereal has never been a problem. They eat whatever is in stock, and again, rarely get Lucky Charms. It's not that I have anything personal against those wonderfully sugary confections, it's just I don't have it in me to handle the insane chaotic beasts that come out of my children when they eat the stuff.
I've also banned M and Ms... from myself. Really, they are too small, and I can not stop myself.... in fact, M and Ms were last week's downfall. I love chocolate, and can usually go with a small bit, but for some reason, M and Ms BEG, INSIST, DEMAND they be eaten...
And for those who are afraid my children will never get to eat yummy, relax. I've got a lazy susan filled with cookie making fixin's.
I just think that MOSTLY we should all eat healthy, with a few indulgences.
Though I think McDonalds is a thing of the past. I used to justify it by saying that children should not be denied those French Fries, but they are horrible now. I know they changed how they cooked them, but now, they taste icky. Wendy's has turkey sandwich club meals now, so that's probably where we will go, especially since I'm no longer eating cheeseburgers (sigh, the sacrifices one makes, do you know how much I love McDonalds cheeseburgers?).
Oh, and yes, margerine is gone, with the diet coke. We use regular butter now, which is fattening but overall healthier than margerine. Plus, since we don't use a lot of butter in recipes, and use mainly canola oil or olive oil (lots of olive oil) it's a better trade off.
Now here is where those who think, BRILLIANT, if Lahdeeda with her cluelessness about organics vs inorganics, and health vs unhealth, and penchant for diet coke and cheeseburgers can do it, with her family who loves all things meat, if she can do it, so can we, well you can, but here is an important trick.
You have to stop shopping once a month.
I shop now once a week. This lets me get all that fresh produce, and just the stuff I need. I actually save money in the long run. I do buy frozen veggies, because I haven't managed to make that trade off yet, and frozen veggies are just as good for you (I think I read that somewhere, so don't quote me, I could be wrong) and cheaper. But only once a week.
This sounds excessive, but if you shop once a month, you can't make salads for dinner past two weeks. You can't use fresh herbs which makes a difference, and all the fruit is gone, too. So you eat healthy the first week or two, and then eat all the other stuff that is bad for you because you have no fresh produce. That was my experience, anyhow. This is why Cotsco is great for meats and frozen things, but not really fresh stuff.
My favorite thing right now is my 'eat veggie and produce' reminder plate.
I have this big plate that is always out, with a few fruits and some produce, and they have to be eaten before they go bad. So, I always throw in a pepper or find something to do with fruit, or something, and ouila, health. ha ha ha.
So, now if I can just get Hubby McRed to actually WALK in the evenings, we'll be good....
.... and I can't wait to see if Yoga ABC from silly to calm actually works on my three year olds... if it is the real deal, I will let you know, and you'll know I'm not lying because frankly, I have no idea if yoga actually works despite all the studies that insist it does.... but if my high energy kids benefit from this, i'll be ecstatic.
I've successfully managed to find three 'healthy staple' dinner meals. Bye bye stroganoff, hello salmon and rice. Bye-bye generic boxed meal of processed foods and really fatty meat, hello steak salad. Our third is Mexican Skillet Chicken, which is good for you AND a long time staple in this house. Everyone just loves it.
I need four more, and I'm pretty sure that my 'Northern Bean Italian Salad' is not going to be one of them.... but you can't blame me for trying! I do a chili everyone loves, and that's once a week in the fall, but only once every two weeks here so it's not really a summer staple. I also have a Beef Burgundy Stew which is delightfully healthy and is a fall/winter staple, but again, it's summer. Cooking Light is my favorite (and only) cooking mag that I get seasonally. Betty Crocker's healthy lifestyle cook book is good, too. If anyone has any other suggestions...
The Goal to Eliminate Soda in the Household is going very well. The boys only drink it when someone foolishly leaves a can of, say, Cherry Coke, say, on the table and it's found by a toddler who then drinks half the can before announcing that, hey Daddy, I found your soda.... seeing as the child never has caffeine and is limited in sugar intake, you can imagine the scene that followed about five minutes later until two hours later when he finally collapsed.... We have the last cans of soda to be bought and once those are gone, finito. Nobody really cares. Drama Girl rarely had anything besides Sprite, and even more rarely a coke or diet coke. I'm the Diet Coke addict, but I've stocked up on Lemons and Fizzy Water (it's all about the bubbly for me) and only have three cans left. They are my 'aaaah I NEEEED one...' cans to help. By tomorrow night there will be no more diet coke.
Cereal has never been a problem. They eat whatever is in stock, and again, rarely get Lucky Charms. It's not that I have anything personal against those wonderfully sugary confections, it's just I don't have it in me to handle the insane chaotic beasts that come out of my children when they eat the stuff.
I've also banned M and Ms... from myself. Really, they are too small, and I can not stop myself.... in fact, M and Ms were last week's downfall. I love chocolate, and can usually go with a small bit, but for some reason, M and Ms BEG, INSIST, DEMAND they be eaten...
And for those who are afraid my children will never get to eat yummy, relax. I've got a lazy susan filled with cookie making fixin's.
I just think that MOSTLY we should all eat healthy, with a few indulgences.
Though I think McDonalds is a thing of the past. I used to justify it by saying that children should not be denied those French Fries, but they are horrible now. I know they changed how they cooked them, but now, they taste icky. Wendy's has turkey sandwich club meals now, so that's probably where we will go, especially since I'm no longer eating cheeseburgers (sigh, the sacrifices one makes, do you know how much I love McDonalds cheeseburgers?).
Oh, and yes, margerine is gone, with the diet coke. We use regular butter now, which is fattening but overall healthier than margerine. Plus, since we don't use a lot of butter in recipes, and use mainly canola oil or olive oil (lots of olive oil) it's a better trade off.
Now here is where those who think, BRILLIANT, if Lahdeeda with her cluelessness about organics vs inorganics, and health vs unhealth, and penchant for diet coke and cheeseburgers can do it, with her family who loves all things meat, if she can do it, so can we, well you can, but here is an important trick.
You have to stop shopping once a month.
I shop now once a week. This lets me get all that fresh produce, and just the stuff I need. I actually save money in the long run. I do buy frozen veggies, because I haven't managed to make that trade off yet, and frozen veggies are just as good for you (I think I read that somewhere, so don't quote me, I could be wrong) and cheaper. But only once a week.
This sounds excessive, but if you shop once a month, you can't make salads for dinner past two weeks. You can't use fresh herbs which makes a difference, and all the fruit is gone, too. So you eat healthy the first week or two, and then eat all the other stuff that is bad for you because you have no fresh produce. That was my experience, anyhow. This is why Cotsco is great for meats and frozen things, but not really fresh stuff.
My favorite thing right now is my 'eat veggie and produce' reminder plate.
I have this big plate that is always out, with a few fruits and some produce, and they have to be eaten before they go bad. So, I always throw in a pepper or find something to do with fruit, or something, and ouila, health. ha ha ha.
So, now if I can just get Hubby McRed to actually WALK in the evenings, we'll be good....
.... and I can't wait to see if Yoga ABC from silly to calm actually works on my three year olds... if it is the real deal, I will let you know, and you'll know I'm not lying because frankly, I have no idea if yoga actually works despite all the studies that insist it does.... but if my high energy kids benefit from this, i'll be ecstatic.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Ten Pages Done
I finished my ten pages.
By Monday.
Like I said I would.
Woot. Go me.
Still don't have a job though.
Lets hear it for the little accomplishments.
By Monday.
Like I said I would.
Woot. Go me.
Still don't have a job though.
Lets hear it for the little accomplishments.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Basic Math
Lets go over some basic math principles.
One household, five people. Two under the age of four, one under the age of 12, two adults.
Five people making messes.
One person cleaning up five people's messes.
One person to Five messes.
Now, one person in this case does not represent a professional cleaner, or rich yuppie woman who can send kids to preschool and summer camps.
One person = caretaker of three children, job seeker, laundry mistress, only person around to break up children's fights etc etc etc.
Clearly, using basic math skills...
The One Person is less than the five messes.
This means that the One Person does not equal Five messes.
Which means, that in order for the Five Messes to be taken care of,
It will take MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people.
Why some do not understand that staying home with three children while looking for a job does NOT equal eight hours of nothing better to do than clean, is beyond me.
However, the simple statement that it takes MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people is a true and factual statement, and disbelief, denial, and sheer obtusity will not change the simple fact. Dance around it all you want, try to rearrange the factors all you want, but in the end, a fact is a fact, and it can not be changed.
Lets just say it one more time, to clarify:
It takes MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people.
One household, five people. Two under the age of four, one under the age of 12, two adults.
Five people making messes.
One person cleaning up five people's messes.
One person to Five messes.
Now, one person in this case does not represent a professional cleaner, or rich yuppie woman who can send kids to preschool and summer camps.
One person = caretaker of three children, job seeker, laundry mistress, only person around to break up children's fights etc etc etc.
Clearly, using basic math skills...
The One Person is less than the five messes.
This means that the One Person does not equal Five messes.
Which means, that in order for the Five Messes to be taken care of,
It will take MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people.
Why some do not understand that staying home with three children while looking for a job does NOT equal eight hours of nothing better to do than clean, is beyond me.
However, the simple statement that it takes MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people is a true and factual statement, and disbelief, denial, and sheer obtusity will not change the simple fact. Dance around it all you want, try to rearrange the factors all you want, but in the end, a fact is a fact, and it can not be changed.
Lets just say it one more time, to clarify:
It takes MORE than ONE PERSON to clean up after FIVE people.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
My Poor Grammar
I have noticed, that sometimes, my grammar is atrocious.
It seems, whenever I post about things that distress me (potty training, job hunting) my grammar goes to pot (unlike my sons, who go everywhere but the pot).
So if you see horrendous, atrocious grammar, or absurdly blatant spelling errors or word mis-usage, or just missing words, you can be sure it's because the topic is something distressful.
Yes, you see, my grammatical errors are an extension of the state of my mind, when distressed, the words pour out of me distressfully, and since the true state of this blog is to act as an extension of my mind, doing something so simple as spell check, or self-editing, would be going against the essence of all that this blog stands for....
.....
........ anyone buying it?
It seems, whenever I post about things that distress me (potty training, job hunting) my grammar goes to pot (unlike my sons, who go everywhere but the pot).
So if you see horrendous, atrocious grammar, or absurdly blatant spelling errors or word mis-usage, or just missing words, you can be sure it's because the topic is something distressful.
Yes, you see, my grammatical errors are an extension of the state of my mind, when distressed, the words pour out of me distressfully, and since the true state of this blog is to act as an extension of my mind, doing something so simple as spell check, or self-editing, would be going against the essence of all that this blog stands for....
.....
........ anyone buying it?
This Job Nonsense
I read somewhere that 'the only real way to get a job is to network...'
ummm.
Hmm.
New place, don't know anyone that works remotely close to my field, no friends, have kids, but no daycare, so can't go galavanting off to networking parties, and am not interested in selling Mary K, Longenberger Baskets, Candles, Usbourne Books, Pampered Chef, Avon or Tupperware. It's just not me. I also hate networking because I feel like a fraud, because there's networking with coworkers and colleagues, and then deliberately networking with complete strangers because you want a job, could care less about them, but want a job.
I'm also not interested in 'working from home' since the kids aren't old enough for me to enjoy that, and I like to come home to a comforting place, not, like, the place where I stress.
Anyhow, apparently, because I have no networking opportunities, I'm destined to never become employed.
Did I ever discuss how much I hate searching for jobs?
It's rather depressing. Yet, for some reason, every other person I know, hits the Job Jackpot the first three tries. With, like, their dream job.
I kid you not.
So tomorrow....
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting I will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I'll draft a resume and put it in the sent box
And then I'll let it go
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting I will go
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
I'll spin a tale and call it a cover letter
And then I'll let it go
oh a hunting I will go....
I know, a bit pathetic....
ummm.
Hmm.
New place, don't know anyone that works remotely close to my field, no friends, have kids, but no daycare, so can't go galavanting off to networking parties, and am not interested in selling Mary K, Longenberger Baskets, Candles, Usbourne Books, Pampered Chef, Avon or Tupperware. It's just not me. I also hate networking because I feel like a fraud, because there's networking with coworkers and colleagues, and then deliberately networking with complete strangers because you want a job, could care less about them, but want a job.
I'm also not interested in 'working from home' since the kids aren't old enough for me to enjoy that, and I like to come home to a comforting place, not, like, the place where I stress.
Anyhow, apparently, because I have no networking opportunities, I'm destined to never become employed.
Did I ever discuss how much I hate searching for jobs?
It's rather depressing. Yet, for some reason, every other person I know, hits the Job Jackpot the first three tries. With, like, their dream job.
I kid you not.
So tomorrow....
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting I will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I'll draft a resume and put it in the sent box
And then I'll let it go
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting I will go
A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go
I'll spin a tale and call it a cover letter
And then I'll let it go
oh a hunting I will go....
I know, a bit pathetic....
Monday, June 04, 2007
Potty Training, Take 1,365
These are boys. They have a male in the house to demonstrate these things. They have incentives. They have praise. They have two different potties each. Three bathrooms to choose from. Books and trains to entertain them while engaged in pottiness. Potty books, to keep them focused.
Nothing has worked.
I even tried just leaving them in their sopping undies, waiting for the 'ewww' factor. I mentioned these were boys. Apparently, with my boys, there is no 'ewww' factor.
I gave them potty treats, but they just complained they wanted the candy, not the potty.
I gave tons of praise, and they said 'all done' and left, only to pee five seconds later on the kitchen floor.
I RUSHED them to the potty at the first sounds of potty occurrence, only to have them suddenly hold it, cease the grunting, and go run away to poop where I can't hear them.
I tried big boy underwear.
I even tried leaving the water running in the sink hoping it would elicit that tinkling desire... to no avail.
They love the underwear at least.
So, what next? Boy pee pee dolls? Mandatory toilet time? Pee in the Bucket contests?
No.
Simple surrender.
They don't want to potty train on my time table. They don't feel, that at 3 1/2 they should be peeing and pooping in a toilet, fine. Far be it from me to stop them. But there are new rules.
We only wear diapers at night time and going out. This is because, while they feel oppressed by my potty training desires, I feel financially oppressed by the cost of their diapers.
Those of you who can put simple concepts together understands what this means.
Boys with lack of eww factor, training underpants and big boy pants, no absorbent diapers = messes on floor and lots of laundering underpants.
Yes.
But I have discovered I am content to follow my boys around with a bottle of Resolve and a sponge while they get used to this strange new world of underwear. I figure, at some point, they will get tired of feeling wet, or peeing on their legs and toes, or grow weary of that chafing feel of poop on cotton... and then, then, they will say MAMA MAMA I GOTTA PEE IN THE POTTY.
Until then, there are towels and old blankets on the couch cushions and Resolve is an arms reach away, and I can say 'I'm potty training them' without actually suffering the angst and torment involved in potty training resistant boys....
Nothing has worked.
I even tried just leaving them in their sopping undies, waiting for the 'ewww' factor. I mentioned these were boys. Apparently, with my boys, there is no 'ewww' factor.
I gave them potty treats, but they just complained they wanted the candy, not the potty.
I gave tons of praise, and they said 'all done' and left, only to pee five seconds later on the kitchen floor.
I RUSHED them to the potty at the first sounds of potty occurrence, only to have them suddenly hold it, cease the grunting, and go run away to poop where I can't hear them.
I tried big boy underwear.
I even tried leaving the water running in the sink hoping it would elicit that tinkling desire... to no avail.
They love the underwear at least.
So, what next? Boy pee pee dolls? Mandatory toilet time? Pee in the Bucket contests?
No.
Simple surrender.
They don't want to potty train on my time table. They don't feel, that at 3 1/2 they should be peeing and pooping in a toilet, fine. Far be it from me to stop them. But there are new rules.
We only wear diapers at night time and going out. This is because, while they feel oppressed by my potty training desires, I feel financially oppressed by the cost of their diapers.
Those of you who can put simple concepts together understands what this means.
Boys with lack of eww factor, training underpants and big boy pants, no absorbent diapers = messes on floor and lots of laundering underpants.
Yes.
But I have discovered I am content to follow my boys around with a bottle of Resolve and a sponge while they get used to this strange new world of underwear. I figure, at some point, they will get tired of feeling wet, or peeing on their legs and toes, or grow weary of that chafing feel of poop on cotton... and then, then, they will say MAMA MAMA I GOTTA PEE IN THE POTTY.
Until then, there are towels and old blankets on the couch cushions and Resolve is an arms reach away, and I can say 'I'm potty training them' without actually suffering the angst and torment involved in potty training resistant boys....
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Colonial House
I promise, if I ever do a PBS-special and go back in time to 'relive' a historical moment, I will not be one of those goons who whine and wail and moan and cry on the video diaries. "I don't mind living the life of a 1628 Puritanical colonist, but I don't feel comfortable with the religious aspect..."
Ummm. 1628 Puritans were all about the religion, duuuuh.
I mean, this is the period where the Scarlett Letter was written, boring generations upon generations of high schoolers forced to read the book... even the cliff notes version is considered a cure for insomnia... with its heavy religious colonial perspective. It's also the whole 'lets burn some people for witchcraft' era.
I pretty much have been addicted to this PBS series of throwing us modern, creatures of comfort folk into harder, more difficult time periods.
Some of them absolutely whine, though. Now, while I can understand the whining, I would hate to actually look back and say, wow, I totally sounded like a whiner...
Now, if you need someone to go back, and live the life of a pampered wife of a Roman senator or emperor or wealthy landowner, or maybe the life of a wealthy Grecian woman, I'm all there....
Remarkably, this is the first series where they don't whine about not being able to take a bath or shower every day.
Ummm. 1628 Puritans were all about the religion, duuuuh.
I mean, this is the period where the Scarlett Letter was written, boring generations upon generations of high schoolers forced to read the book... even the cliff notes version is considered a cure for insomnia... with its heavy religious colonial perspective. It's also the whole 'lets burn some people for witchcraft' era.
I pretty much have been addicted to this PBS series of throwing us modern, creatures of comfort folk into harder, more difficult time periods.
Some of them absolutely whine, though. Now, while I can understand the whining, I would hate to actually look back and say, wow, I totally sounded like a whiner...
Now, if you need someone to go back, and live the life of a pampered wife of a Roman senator or emperor or wealthy landowner, or maybe the life of a wealthy Grecian woman, I'm all there....
Remarkably, this is the first series where they don't whine about not being able to take a bath or shower every day.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Yummy yummy, Steak Salad
There is an effort, half resignation, half optimism, whole commitment, in this household to adopt healthier eating and healthier habits. Hopefully, we'll get around to the evening family walks, but for the moment, it's focused on eating. One must take things one step at a time, and we've already incorporated daddy play time outdoors in the evening.
Salads are very healthy for you. Vegetables, too. The problem is, salads for dinner... look at some of the recipes. Hubby McRed is an avid meat eater, and not prone to excessively exotic salad combinations... thus we may never try the Rasberry Chicken Salad dish... and I have doubts about the Tucsan Tuna Salad, but we'll try them. It's hard to just get it right, especially changing from a heavy pasta/meat/potato eating habit.
Tonight, I found a ten minute success meal.
Steak salad...
Cheap, thin round top steak cooked in light oil, and frankly, I can't wait til we can grill it...
red and green bell peppers and an onion, ditto above,
toss on salad greens.
Toss on dressing.
Watch Hubby McRed stare at it in surprise, then eat it all up.
Watch in even greater amazement as Bear eats two dishes, including the lettuce leaves, and asks for more.
Drama Girl loves greens and leafy things, so I wasn't surprised when she scoffed hers down.
Mark as family staple dish, replacing Stroganoff.
Because that is the ultimate goal, to find replacements for the staples that are healthy. Good-bye stroganoff, hello steak salad.
Good-bye pork chops with mash, hello broiled salmon with long grain rice.
Only five more staple meals to go....
I know, I know, pork chops with mash, yummy, stroganoff, mmm, but they don't need to be staples now, do they?
And I know I know, there are gazillions of households full of healthy happy eaters, so we're a bit slow on the uptake, but it's hard to change it all around.
Salads are very healthy for you. Vegetables, too. The problem is, salads for dinner... look at some of the recipes. Hubby McRed is an avid meat eater, and not prone to excessively exotic salad combinations... thus we may never try the Rasberry Chicken Salad dish... and I have doubts about the Tucsan Tuna Salad, but we'll try them. It's hard to just get it right, especially changing from a heavy pasta/meat/potato eating habit.
Tonight, I found a ten minute success meal.
Steak salad...
Cheap, thin round top steak cooked in light oil, and frankly, I can't wait til we can grill it...
red and green bell peppers and an onion, ditto above,
toss on salad greens.
Toss on dressing.
Watch Hubby McRed stare at it in surprise, then eat it all up.
Watch in even greater amazement as Bear eats two dishes, including the lettuce leaves, and asks for more.
Drama Girl loves greens and leafy things, so I wasn't surprised when she scoffed hers down.
Mark as family staple dish, replacing Stroganoff.
Because that is the ultimate goal, to find replacements for the staples that are healthy. Good-bye stroganoff, hello steak salad.
Good-bye pork chops with mash, hello broiled salmon with long grain rice.
Only five more staple meals to go....
I know, I know, pork chops with mash, yummy, stroganoff, mmm, but they don't need to be staples now, do they?
And I know I know, there are gazillions of households full of healthy happy eaters, so we're a bit slow on the uptake, but it's hard to change it all around.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Just a minor change
So here's my minor change.
It's like a new hair color. By merely changing the template of my blog, I've entered a new blogging phase....
So on that note, here's the official first grown-upp-er blog:
Reflections on Children
Today, for the first time, I've had to consider, that perhaps, my children really don't like me. I used to scoff, I'd say it jokingly, but now, I wonder.... because, if they liked me, wouldn't it stand to reason, that they'd be nicer to me?
If my children liked me, they: would not climb up the stairs on the outside of the bannister, would not jump from the coffee table to the couch, would not empty out my basket full of folded laundry, would not turn the laundry dial to 'perm press' and 'low spin' on a full load, would not eat my lunch and drink my drinks if I happen to step away for two seconds, would not break my nice glassware, would not cry at me, whine at me, cling on me, pull on me, or repeat my words back at me, would play with the football outside, would stop building detailed crash scenes with their trucks and my things, would not jump on their beds.....
Sheesh, says Bear. Sheesh.
Driving me nuts, says Turbo. Driving me nuts.
I'm angry, growls Bear.
So, I look at them, and I think, nah, they must like me... it's just that they are three and a half... they hugged me, and when I asked them if they liked me, they said yup...
.... and then they... throw the pillows off the couch, wear my shoes and lose them somewhere, shut off my computer while I'm using it, open up my printer tray to 'just check something,' run off with my little jewelry box of odds and ends, steal my measuring tape, pull the leaves off the fake tree, and place toy trains in strategic locations meant to cause the most injury to toes....
With residents like these in my home, I fear my blog may not grow up after all....
P.S. I now have a writing blog which doesn't include any useful information for other writers, but is just a place for me to write about um, my writing... but if you're interested in that drivel, check it out.
It's like a new hair color. By merely changing the template of my blog, I've entered a new blogging phase....
So on that note, here's the official first grown-upp-er blog:
Reflections on Children
Today, for the first time, I've had to consider, that perhaps, my children really don't like me. I used to scoff, I'd say it jokingly, but now, I wonder.... because, if they liked me, wouldn't it stand to reason, that they'd be nicer to me?
If my children liked me, they: would not climb up the stairs on the outside of the bannister, would not jump from the coffee table to the couch, would not empty out my basket full of folded laundry, would not turn the laundry dial to 'perm press' and 'low spin' on a full load, would not eat my lunch and drink my drinks if I happen to step away for two seconds, would not break my nice glassware, would not cry at me, whine at me, cling on me, pull on me, or repeat my words back at me, would play with the football outside, would stop building detailed crash scenes with their trucks and my things, would not jump on their beds.....
Sheesh, says Bear. Sheesh.
Driving me nuts, says Turbo. Driving me nuts.
I'm angry, growls Bear.
So, I look at them, and I think, nah, they must like me... it's just that they are three and a half... they hugged me, and when I asked them if they liked me, they said yup...
.... and then they... throw the pillows off the couch, wear my shoes and lose them somewhere, shut off my computer while I'm using it, open up my printer tray to 'just check something,' run off with my little jewelry box of odds and ends, steal my measuring tape, pull the leaves off the fake tree, and place toy trains in strategic locations meant to cause the most injury to toes....
With residents like these in my home, I fear my blog may not grow up after all....
P.S. I now have a writing blog which doesn't include any useful information for other writers, but is just a place for me to write about um, my writing... but if you're interested in that drivel, check it out.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Blog's Growing up
It's just that time, you know, the time when the blog has to grow up.
From now on, my blog will contain thought out, interesting material that isn't just 'help my three year olds refuse to pee in the damned pot'.
It will reflect my wit, my intelligence, and hopefully, will generate more comments, though I LOVE the comments I get.
It will not, however, be as witty, intelligent and as well thought out as some other blogs. I don't think I have that much energy yet.
So, you may look forward to a more mature blog next week.
About some interesting and relevant topic not involving my moods, my potty training failures (unless I can make them funny) and my issues with thank you letters for job interviews.
I may even change the background...and stuff.
From now on, my blog will contain thought out, interesting material that isn't just 'help my three year olds refuse to pee in the damned pot'.
It will reflect my wit, my intelligence, and hopefully, will generate more comments, though I LOVE the comments I get.
It will not, however, be as witty, intelligent and as well thought out as some other blogs. I don't think I have that much energy yet.
So, you may look forward to a more mature blog next week.
About some interesting and relevant topic not involving my moods, my potty training failures (unless I can make them funny) and my issues with thank you letters for job interviews.
I may even change the background...and stuff.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
It's a bust
First interview, a bust.
I haven't heard anything since. So, considering it's a small, growing company that needs to fill a lot of positions fast, and I haven't heard anything....
....we're moving on.
I did send a thank you note, but I just don't think they are actually effective. Anyone disagree?
So now I"m dreaming about an air conditioned office working for a stable (ha ha) corporation with lots of promotion opportunities.....
I haven't heard anything since. So, considering it's a small, growing company that needs to fill a lot of positions fast, and I haven't heard anything....
....we're moving on.
I did send a thank you note, but I just don't think they are actually effective. Anyone disagree?
So now I"m dreaming about an air conditioned office working for a stable (ha ha) corporation with lots of promotion opportunities.....
Monday, May 21, 2007
Potty Training for Dummies
Someone...
Anyone....
What do you do when your three year olds show no interest in going potty?
RIGHT put on regular underwear under the diapers so they'll see how uncomfortable it is.
But... what if you do that... and they still don't care?
Anyone... anyone?
Anyone....
What do you do when your three year olds show no interest in going potty?
RIGHT put on regular underwear under the diapers so they'll see how uncomfortable it is.
But... what if you do that... and they still don't care?
Anyone... anyone?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Post Interview
What can I say about it? First one in a few years, so I was nervous, rambled a bit, said a few UGH dumb things... overall did 'ok' but didn't really make my case, in my opinion. Definitely overdressed, but hey, not too crazy overdressed.
Did they like me? Sure. But I don't have agency experience. I don't know the secret handshake. I have writing experience, news release experience, working in crazy, chaotic fast-paced juggle three different fires situations, but for some reason, there is something about an 'agency' that is super super important that I don't have... I imagine it's 'well, you haven't drunken the kool aid yet sooo...' but perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps there is a big SECRET about working at an agency that requires that the only way to get into an agency is to have worked at an agency. Of course, since the only way to get into an agency is to have worked with one, I imagine that the only people who truly work at agencies were people who were born there...
Not that I'm griping or anything, I mean, HEY, they did interview me, which is huge, because lo though I walk through the valley of agencies, I never get an interview, not even a phone call asking if perhaps, I had ever visited an agency and drank some of their water....
And they may give me a chance. And I honestly believe If I did a better job at this interview, they would have hired me. See, if this was my third or fourth interview, I'd probably have a much better chance at the job... This group WILL hire non-agency people, though I believe there is baptism in kool-aid, but I am too raw /sigh... I said too many dumb things and not enough of the things I should have... not that I'm kicking myself or anything, and NO I was not awesome. I know awesome when I see awesome. I was not awesome... though hey, I DID manage to not get lost on the way there!
So it was eh.
Now on to mundate matters....
Day One of Intensive Potty Training
Aiden peed in his big boy pants.
Yep. Pretty exciting stuff.
My new philosophy is that my boys have absolutely no interest in learning how to use the potty. Why should they? Diapers are convenient enough...
So now, they are only allowed to wear diapers at night and when we go out. This means a few times a day we sit on the potty. This is Day One so getting them to sit on the potty was a battle. But, this is how it's going to be. They are ready, they just, um, have toilet avoidance issues...
Did they like me? Sure. But I don't have agency experience. I don't know the secret handshake. I have writing experience, news release experience, working in crazy, chaotic fast-paced juggle three different fires situations, but for some reason, there is something about an 'agency' that is super super important that I don't have... I imagine it's 'well, you haven't drunken the kool aid yet sooo...' but perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps there is a big SECRET about working at an agency that requires that the only way to get into an agency is to have worked at an agency. Of course, since the only way to get into an agency is to have worked with one, I imagine that the only people who truly work at agencies were people who were born there...
Not that I'm griping or anything, I mean, HEY, they did interview me, which is huge, because lo though I walk through the valley of agencies, I never get an interview, not even a phone call asking if perhaps, I had ever visited an agency and drank some of their water....
And they may give me a chance. And I honestly believe If I did a better job at this interview, they would have hired me. See, if this was my third or fourth interview, I'd probably have a much better chance at the job... This group WILL hire non-agency people, though I believe there is baptism in kool-aid, but I am too raw /sigh... I said too many dumb things and not enough of the things I should have... not that I'm kicking myself or anything, and NO I was not awesome. I know awesome when I see awesome. I was not awesome... though hey, I DID manage to not get lost on the way there!
So it was eh.
Now on to mundate matters....
Day One of Intensive Potty Training
Aiden peed in his big boy pants.
Yep. Pretty exciting stuff.
My new philosophy is that my boys have absolutely no interest in learning how to use the potty. Why should they? Diapers are convenient enough...
So now, they are only allowed to wear diapers at night and when we go out. This means a few times a day we sit on the potty. This is Day One so getting them to sit on the potty was a battle. But, this is how it's going to be. They are ready, they just, um, have toilet avoidance issues...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I kept a secret....
No, it has nothing to do with impending babies...
So, with all the events of my mom, the stress of my children being oh, three and a half and ten and a half, and the multiple (okay, two) papers I had to write, I neglected to mention I went on an interview today for an actual job. Yes, that's right, I said 'job.'
I managed to get through the WHOLE thing without letting on that I had a horde I was caring for, but I didn't do as well as I wanted to. I mean, it's been three or four years since my last interview, give me some slack! It didn't go badly, though.
I will write about it more tomorrow, suffice it to say, if I hear one more time '...don't have agency experience..." i'm going to either a) cry, b) implode, c) explode or d) find a new industry. I mean, is there some secret handshake at the agency that's required? Some new language? What is so amazingly unique about agency experience that someone in the field couldn't possibly adapt and learn? ARGH.....
Later :)
So, with all the events of my mom, the stress of my children being oh, three and a half and ten and a half, and the multiple (okay, two) papers I had to write, I neglected to mention I went on an interview today for an actual job. Yes, that's right, I said 'job.'
I managed to get through the WHOLE thing without letting on that I had a horde I was caring for, but I didn't do as well as I wanted to. I mean, it's been three or four years since my last interview, give me some slack! It didn't go badly, though.
I will write about it more tomorrow, suffice it to say, if I hear one more time '...don't have agency experience..." i'm going to either a) cry, b) implode, c) explode or d) find a new industry. I mean, is there some secret handshake at the agency that's required? Some new language? What is so amazingly unique about agency experience that someone in the field couldn't possibly adapt and learn? ARGH.....
Later :)
Monday, May 14, 2007
Monday Monday
Well,
Monday is Monday. And isn't it ever! Drama Girl is home from school with aches and pains. Turbo and Bear are being very naughty jumping on the couch, blissfully unconcerned with time outs. The cats are hiding. The dishes are piled up from my absence this weekend and with all the focus on my mom, someone didn't get any mommy day stuff, but does get a weekend date this Saturday. Luckily, said mom bought herself a book for mommy's day :)
And rather than do the dishes, find the cats, and complain about the couch pillows being on the floor, I'm taking a coffee break...
Hubby McRed took the kids to visit his mom on mother's day which was sweet. My first comment on seeing them when I hopped in the truck and saw the two sleeping angels ,was, my, they look dirty.... seeing as they had dirt streaks over their faces, hands, arms, legs etc etc. They got to spend the entire weekend outside. LUCKY!
Well, off to the coffee pot for a refill... maybe i'll even pop a dish in the sink...
Monday is Monday. And isn't it ever! Drama Girl is home from school with aches and pains. Turbo and Bear are being very naughty jumping on the couch, blissfully unconcerned with time outs. The cats are hiding. The dishes are piled up from my absence this weekend and with all the focus on my mom, someone didn't get any mommy day stuff, but does get a weekend date this Saturday. Luckily, said mom bought herself a book for mommy's day :)
And rather than do the dishes, find the cats, and complain about the couch pillows being on the floor, I'm taking a coffee break...
Hubby McRed took the kids to visit his mom on mother's day which was sweet. My first comment on seeing them when I hopped in the truck and saw the two sleeping angels ,was, my, they look dirty.... seeing as they had dirt streaks over their faces, hands, arms, legs etc etc. They got to spend the entire weekend outside. LUCKY!
Well, off to the coffee pot for a refill... maybe i'll even pop a dish in the sink...
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Soon be Back
Flying to Colorado tomorrow (or today, I'm very tired) and back to my life and mundane but sometimes slightly amusing posts.
This, after all, is La La Land.
This, after all, is La La Land.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Where I've Been
Yes, I've been missing in action lately.
I know I know, all five of you missed me.
I have just successfully finished another semester of my master's program. The last week was spent writing very long papers.
Also, it is now officially job hunting season. I hear we can hunt as many as we want, but we're only allowed to bag one.
I will be posting regulary again on Monday (I know you all just CAN NOT wait) but tomorrow I fly off to see my mother, who, as most of you know, is very ill with cancer. She's decided not to do chemo, so this is in a way, a good bye visit. I hope to cheer her up, and maybe, just maybe, get her thinking about her spiritual side. She's always been very religious and spiritual, but hasn't really, for some reason, been overly spiritual. She told me she just didn't think she was there yet, and I truly hope she does get there. She means the world to me, and I would like her to find some peace while she is here, rather than just waiting. We are all, her children and sisters, taking time to go and visit her in the next two months.
On that note, have a good weekend everyone. Wish my mother well, pray for her, if you're not the praying type, just take a moment to think of her. She's only 60, 61, so this is very hard.
Later all!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
NFL Draft
Well.
I don't care about the NFL draft. I don't, and I'm not following it, nor am I asking Hubby McRed who picked who and who went where.... I certainly didn't log in to NFL.com to figure out the details of the Raiders trade to NE.
New England gets Randy Moss... WOOOOT. However, I wish they would stop positioning New England as the team to make it to the Superbowl. It's how teams get cursed. I want New England to make it, so lets stop predicting they will and wait til the actual season starts. And, for the record, seeing as I'm a New England native, no, as a matter of fact, I did not jump on their bandwagon.... it's not my fault my team rocks.
Hubby McRed is deeply concerned with Dallas' picks, and can't believe that the Dolphins didn't pick up Quinn, because, duh, they need a quarterback.
Monday, April 23, 2007
What I got
Yes.
I got one.
I did.
On sale at Overstock.com.
And there was another 8% coupon which made it even nicer, with free shipping.
Some might think this is excessive, however, I am the vacuum destroyer.
We have to replace our vacuums every year and a half or two.
I need an UBAH VACUUMA
Because Hubby McRed is frakkin' sick and frakkin' tired of having to always blow a freakin' 150 bucks on a vaccum someone in the house (moi') is going to trash in less than a year and a half....
If I manage to destroy this one, we may just eliminate carpet in our house altogether....
I got one.
I did.
On sale at Overstock.com.
And there was another 8% coupon which made it even nicer, with free shipping.
Some might think this is excessive, however, I am the vacuum destroyer.
We have to replace our vacuums every year and a half or two.
I need an UBAH VACUUMA
Because Hubby McRed is frakkin' sick and frakkin' tired of having to always blow a freakin' 150 bucks on a vaccum someone in the house (moi') is going to trash in less than a year and a half....
If I manage to destroy this one, we may just eliminate carpet in our house altogether....
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Soy is Dangerous. Tofu, too!
It is with great joy that I discovered the benefits of soy protein were far outweighed by the dangers.
Thyroidism! Breast cancer! Hormonal imbalances! Early onset of puberty in girls! Slowed development in boys!
The verdict?
Forget soy. Forget tofu. Eat polenta and pasta. They even taste good! Diet Coke is healthier!
For the past two (yes, a whole two) days, after reading about how wonderful soymilk and tofu was, I decided to try it. See all those Silk commercials touting the health benefits of soy? One-sided. I tried some light soy milk. Bleah. The vanilla and chocolate is good though. I tried variations of tofu. Bland, but not bad, neither here nor there.
Then, because I couldn't fathom how to eat the recommended 25 grams of soy (on the back of the Silk box, I should have known better) I looked up the benefits of soy, to see if it was really worth all that.
Ummm.... nope. Read all about the controversy!
It's not just there, either. It's here... and then over here
Okay that last one was just for a laugh but still, this is more trusty...
And finally,the Wikipedia version.
So I think the occasional glass of soy milk (chocolate, or vanilla, but not plain ewww) and some tofu or miso is fine, but I think I won't be eating tempeh or soy burgers, or soy stuff... bleah.
If it doesn't include most of the soy bean and doesn't have soy protein then it's to be avoided, I think....
... and while I'll eat some soy, I'm not inclined to try to add it to my daily diet.
I'll just stock up on some olive oil and salmon.
Now, there's a combo you can't go wrong with.
Thyroidism! Breast cancer! Hormonal imbalances! Early onset of puberty in girls! Slowed development in boys!
The verdict?
Forget soy. Forget tofu. Eat polenta and pasta. They even taste good! Diet Coke is healthier!
For the past two (yes, a whole two) days, after reading about how wonderful soymilk and tofu was, I decided to try it. See all those Silk commercials touting the health benefits of soy? One-sided. I tried some light soy milk. Bleah. The vanilla and chocolate is good though. I tried variations of tofu. Bland, but not bad, neither here nor there.
Then, because I couldn't fathom how to eat the recommended 25 grams of soy (on the back of the Silk box, I should have known better) I looked up the benefits of soy, to see if it was really worth all that.
Ummm.... nope. Read all about the controversy!
It's not just there, either. It's here... and then over here
Okay that last one was just for a laugh but still, this is more trusty...
And finally,the Wikipedia version.
So I think the occasional glass of soy milk (chocolate, or vanilla, but not plain ewww) and some tofu or miso is fine, but I think I won't be eating tempeh or soy burgers, or soy stuff... bleah.
If it doesn't include most of the soy bean and doesn't have soy protein then it's to be avoided, I think....
... and while I'll eat some soy, I'm not inclined to try to add it to my daily diet.
I'll just stock up on some olive oil and salmon.
Now, there's a combo you can't go wrong with.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Bye Bye Baby
So we had three cats when we moved from Washington. But this house is laid out differently, and there is less room (until we finish the basement, but that's down the road) and the three cats hissed and fought and were not happy.
What do we do?
Nobody wanted the cat, even though everyone agreed he was wonderful (This right here is why I don't want to hear anything from people with the 'pets are forever' stories. When everyone is bloody miserable, something isn' working and it's not good for any of the pets. Also nobody wants your pet, they want to shop for their own. All the people that tell you they want your cat don't really, all the people you ask know people whom they are sure want it blah blah blah.) You can't just put it up on craigslist. Well, you can, but nasty, unpleasant things can happen to cats given to people on craigslist (PETA has a warning up). With the stuff with my mom going on, the constant cat dramatics and a berber carpet used as a scratching post, I couldn't spend months finding him a new home. So I took him to the humane society here, because happily, they don't euthanize their cats. In fact, unless the cat is seriously ill, he will stay there being fed, fat and happy until someone adopts him, which will not be long, since he's a big, fat, loveable, cuddleable, baby.
They asked why of the three cats we chose to give this one up. I said he didn't bond with anyone. (Also, if anyone would get adopted it would be him. I can't see anyone adopting my cat, who is so anxious and nervous that he throws up at the mere thought of change... twin birth, three days of yak. Car trip, peed on self in Nebraska. Attempt at dog, yak fest. Pet hotel here, shivering and shaking. I've had him for five years. I love his big eyes, I love his gray coat. I could do without the yakking. Then there's Drama's cat. Oh dear. Nobody but Drama girl likes this cat, though Hubby McRed sympathizes with her unique dislike of everyone, and her shyness and unwillingess to go near, oh, anyone else but Drama girl and occasionally Hubby McRed. So yes, nobody would be taking her, either, not to mention the severe emotional trauma taking the only, yes ONLY, pet that Drama girl ever had that actually liked her back would cause. (We are SOULMATES, she swears) The thing is, she really IS the only pet to return Drama Girl's affection. She sleeps at her head every night. She comes out for Drama girl. She plays with her hair. Drama girl pets her. She has a pink pet carrier in her room for her. Yes, that one could not, would not, must not go.
Which left the Biggest, Most Affectionate, Most Loveable, but for some reason, only cat that didn't bond with someone. Me personally, I think this family likes the outcasts, the outsiders, the problem children. We couldn't bond with Baby, his nickname, because he was, well, too good, too wonderful, too cuddly... how sad is that?
And what has happened the first night he left?
Nothing.
No cats chasing each other hissing across the house.
Drama girl's cat actually ventured into the open.
Everyone slept without having to wake up once to deal with a cat.
As I speak, Drama girl's cat is actually downstairs, eating, in the presence of another cat and myself.
Definitely I feel it was a case of the current environment not being able to hold three of them.
And yes, I am going to be pathetic and monitor his progress on their website to see if someone takes him.
What do we do?
Nobody wanted the cat, even though everyone agreed he was wonderful (This right here is why I don't want to hear anything from people with the 'pets are forever' stories. When everyone is bloody miserable, something isn' working and it's not good for any of the pets. Also nobody wants your pet, they want to shop for their own. All the people that tell you they want your cat don't really, all the people you ask know people whom they are sure want it blah blah blah.) You can't just put it up on craigslist. Well, you can, but nasty, unpleasant things can happen to cats given to people on craigslist (PETA has a warning up). With the stuff with my mom going on, the constant cat dramatics and a berber carpet used as a scratching post, I couldn't spend months finding him a new home. So I took him to the humane society here, because happily, they don't euthanize their cats. In fact, unless the cat is seriously ill, he will stay there being fed, fat and happy until someone adopts him, which will not be long, since he's a big, fat, loveable, cuddleable, baby.
They asked why of the three cats we chose to give this one up. I said he didn't bond with anyone. (Also, if anyone would get adopted it would be him. I can't see anyone adopting my cat, who is so anxious and nervous that he throws up at the mere thought of change... twin birth, three days of yak. Car trip, peed on self in Nebraska. Attempt at dog, yak fest. Pet hotel here, shivering and shaking. I've had him for five years. I love his big eyes, I love his gray coat. I could do without the yakking. Then there's Drama's cat. Oh dear. Nobody but Drama girl likes this cat, though Hubby McRed sympathizes with her unique dislike of everyone, and her shyness and unwillingess to go near, oh, anyone else but Drama girl and occasionally Hubby McRed. So yes, nobody would be taking her, either, not to mention the severe emotional trauma taking the only, yes ONLY, pet that Drama girl ever had that actually liked her back would cause. (We are SOULMATES, she swears) The thing is, she really IS the only pet to return Drama Girl's affection. She sleeps at her head every night. She comes out for Drama girl. She plays with her hair. Drama girl pets her. She has a pink pet carrier in her room for her. Yes, that one could not, would not, must not go.
Which left the Biggest, Most Affectionate, Most Loveable, but for some reason, only cat that didn't bond with someone. Me personally, I think this family likes the outcasts, the outsiders, the problem children. We couldn't bond with Baby, his nickname, because he was, well, too good, too wonderful, too cuddly... how sad is that?
And what has happened the first night he left?
Nothing.
No cats chasing each other hissing across the house.
Drama girl's cat actually ventured into the open.
Everyone slept without having to wake up once to deal with a cat.
As I speak, Drama girl's cat is actually downstairs, eating, in the presence of another cat and myself.
Definitely I feel it was a case of the current environment not being able to hold three of them.
And yes, I am going to be pathetic and monitor his progress on their website to see if someone takes him.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Deadliest Catch
What is so interesting about this show? I mean, technically, it's a 'guy' show so I shouldn't even be interested in it.
Men, on a ship, the Bering Sea, fishing for crab. The weather is usually bad. In one season, someone, at least someone, usually not on the ships that have the tv crews, will die. Someone will be injured (at least). A boat will get damaged. There will be a crazy storm (usually, once a show). The crab season only lasts like 23 days in October. It's an insane show. But me? Me? I'm addicted to it. I even have my favorite captains, and occasional crew member I bond with occasionally.
And I get cranky when I'm not caught up.
I'm not even a big tv person. I despise reality tv. Yet, here I am, catching up on the latest Deadliest Catch.....
Men, on a ship, the Bering Sea, fishing for crab. The weather is usually bad. In one season, someone, at least someone, usually not on the ships that have the tv crews, will die. Someone will be injured (at least). A boat will get damaged. There will be a crazy storm (usually, once a show). The crab season only lasts like 23 days in October. It's an insane show. But me? Me? I'm addicted to it. I even have my favorite captains, and occasional crew member I bond with occasionally.
And I get cranky when I'm not caught up.
I'm not even a big tv person. I despise reality tv. Yet, here I am, catching up on the latest Deadliest Catch.....
Friday, April 13, 2007
Nomination weeee
Momma's World has nominated my blog for two categories, humor and best parenting...
Please vote, peeerttty pleeeassee....
The adult content is language (I'm so scammin' off of Second Effort's post here, he was nominated, too... vote for him, as well!)
also, if you vote for me, and get your ten best friends to vote for me, you will have good luck for the next ten years, however, if you don't vote for me, or you do but only have seven best friends, and don't meet the ten best friend quota, you won't finish your taxes on time, and if you did finish your taxes on time, the IRS will lose them.....
Please vote, peeerttty pleeeassee....
The adult content is language (I'm so scammin' off of Second Effort's post here, he was nominated, too... vote for him, as well!)
also, if you vote for me, and get your ten best friends to vote for me, you will have good luck for the next ten years, however, if you don't vote for me, or you do but only have seven best friends, and don't meet the ten best friend quota, you won't finish your taxes on time, and if you did finish your taxes on time, the IRS will lose them.....
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Robin Hood
Why I love the BBC.
In the BBC America's Robin Hood series, I love that:
Maid Marion can don a short bob, with bangs, and not cover it up. (She got her hair cut for helping poor people).
Maid Marion also practices Tai Chi, or some other relaxing form that didn't exist in England in 1192. She also never smiles. I suppose that would be realistic.
Robin Hood owns a hoodie. I adore hoodies. I want one just like his.
Robin Hood has a permanent scruff. Never a beard, never clean-shaven. It's a trick, to do that in 1192.
All the men, in fact, have neatly groomed scruffiness.
The Sheriff has heated floors in his castle, because he goes barefoot in them occasionally, while it's rainy and cold outside. Heated floors!
He also has the coolest loungewear.
Maid Marion can wear pants, too. Who knew maids wore pants.
Robin Hood has a nice ass, as seen in his tight leather britches.
Guy Gisbon is also a hottie, but he's a villian, a good villian, very villianous, he's so cute, then he kills someone randomly and how can you justify finding the villianous villian hot?
If I were 13, I'd have Robin Hood and his Merry Band of Boys plastered over my walls... yum.
Maid Marion can have Robin, but she's too grumpy. She's so wasting that ass. And apparently they have cute little shrugs back then too.
I'm sooo tired.
Night night folks.
In the BBC America's Robin Hood series, I love that:
Maid Marion can don a short bob, with bangs, and not cover it up. (She got her hair cut for helping poor people).
Maid Marion also practices Tai Chi, or some other relaxing form that didn't exist in England in 1192. She also never smiles. I suppose that would be realistic.
Robin Hood owns a hoodie. I adore hoodies. I want one just like his.
Robin Hood has a permanent scruff. Never a beard, never clean-shaven. It's a trick, to do that in 1192.
All the men, in fact, have neatly groomed scruffiness.
The Sheriff has heated floors in his castle, because he goes barefoot in them occasionally, while it's rainy and cold outside. Heated floors!
He also has the coolest loungewear.
Maid Marion can wear pants, too. Who knew maids wore pants.
Robin Hood has a nice ass, as seen in his tight leather britches.
Guy Gisbon is also a hottie, but he's a villian, a good villian, very villianous, he's so cute, then he kills someone randomly and how can you justify finding the villianous villian hot?
If I were 13, I'd have Robin Hood and his Merry Band of Boys plastered over my walls... yum.
Maid Marion can have Robin, but she's too grumpy. She's so wasting that ass. And apparently they have cute little shrugs back then too.
I'm sooo tired.
Night night folks.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
About Bridge
I will not play Bridge.
I am sure Bridge is fun. I am equally sure I would not be good at it. It requires 'paying attention' and I seldom, rarely, never, pay attention when I'm playing cards. I am sure that I could learn to play, that is not the issue.
I just don't want to learn how to play. Maybe one day, I will suddenly have the desire to play Bridge. Maybe I will fall into a social circle that is fanatical about Bridge. Probably not.
The thing is, I have a finite amount of time. I have three young children. I have school. I have writing. I barely have time to eek out time for myself, or my husband and I. And this is the main point.
When I can finally eek out time for myself, or my husband and I, I do not want to squander it playing a card game I don't care about. I prefer to squander it at a restaurant. At the movies. At a book club. At a friend's home. Shoot, I'd prefer to spend it playing Bunco, if there were wine and cheese. I mean, Bunco isn't a game so much as something to do with your hands while you talk. I don't want to waste it on something I would have to take seriously, or learn, or think about.
Thank you.
P.S. No Bridge fans were hurt, maimed, tormented or bitched at during the making of this post.
I am sure Bridge is fun. I am equally sure I would not be good at it. It requires 'paying attention' and I seldom, rarely, never, pay attention when I'm playing cards. I am sure that I could learn to play, that is not the issue.
I just don't want to learn how to play. Maybe one day, I will suddenly have the desire to play Bridge. Maybe I will fall into a social circle that is fanatical about Bridge. Probably not.
The thing is, I have a finite amount of time. I have three young children. I have school. I have writing. I barely have time to eek out time for myself, or my husband and I. And this is the main point.
When I can finally eek out time for myself, or my husband and I, I do not want to squander it playing a card game I don't care about. I prefer to squander it at a restaurant. At the movies. At a book club. At a friend's home. Shoot, I'd prefer to spend it playing Bunco, if there were wine and cheese. I mean, Bunco isn't a game so much as something to do with your hands while you talk. I don't want to waste it on something I would have to take seriously, or learn, or think about.
Thank you.
P.S. No Bridge fans were hurt, maimed, tormented or bitched at during the making of this post.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Case of the Rainy Green Poop
Yes, what a lovely topic.
But it's not just about raining green poop, no, it is the events of a day that can only result in future therapy for Turbo Boy, and true severe reactions to furniture stores of all types.
Green pants, however, reign supreme.
It all started innocently enough.
We ventured out today to buy a kitchen table, since we're still using one of those gray plastic card tables. It all started out great, with a lunch at chilis. It went fairly well at Pier One where we found a counter height kitchen table (sale, thank you) that I like but Hubby McRed, who may also be known as "Tempermental Artist Hair" for reasons I may or may not blog about, is still unsure of the color, even though we now own it. We then went to Flat Irons, or Shopping Mecca Unlike Anything Seen in the East or West, where the trouble started.
Turbo and Bear were half asleep, but willing to venture into The Great Indoors, also known as "Large Massive Store of Overpriced, but Perty, Furniture, Furnishings and Flooring (I saw the soaking tub get-up that one day I Will Own And Put In My Mini-Castle In The Mountains... moving on...
...to escalaters, and, sheltered I am not, but yet I have not ever seen this contraption, an escalater for shopping carts. In the confusion as to what I was supposed to do to get the shopping car to go up, and my disbelief that it would work or was even a good idea, my son wandered ON TO THE ESCALATER. Okay, he's THREE. It's not the moving up that worries me. It's the getting off. He's three, he could tumble and fall all the way back down.
There are differing opinions on how I reacted, and I do not believe that I 'freaked out' as TAH would have you believe. Instead, I, in my wedge heels and still-healing ankle, merely yelled "Jesus Christ" and asked Drama to please run on to the escalaters to hold his hand. Drama ran and did this, but, inexplicably didn't hold his hand. He looked back. Apparently because after saying, not as loudly as one might insist, Jesus Christ, I called his name, he looked back, and fell.
Okay, fell is harsh. Also, I am not a big fan of the JC exclamation, but for some reason, seeing my little three year old all alone on that escalator, it's what came out. Perhaps I was hoping he would appear and do something, seeing as TAH just stood there, figuring if we left him alone he'd be fine.
Well. He fell, yes, but down one step. Then, since the escalater was constantly moving up, and he was trying to get up and crawl off, he really just ended up crawling in one spot yelling 'help momma help come get me.' To which I bravely hurled myself, wedge heel and weak ankle and all, on to the escalater, grasping poor Turbo into my arms, and carrying him up, all the while listening to him say 'get me momma. you came and get me.'
Now, this would have been fine, if we got off, and he carried on happily.
This did not happen.
"that was scary. that was scary. you got me. you got me momma? Hold my hand momma. I want a hand. Don't let go momma. that was scarry. We don't go down. we don't want to go down."
Uh oh.
So after a stroll around the upper level with the scared Drama, and the continuing commentary of his harrowing five seconds, it was time to go down. TAH held his hand and they talked about being brave and not being scared.
To which, upon getting off the escalater, went right out the window as Turbo grasped my hand and said 'it wasn't scary' with the most unconvincing look ever.
Then, to my horror, said "...but I fell and you got me, and you got me cuz I fell and you didn't get me, I'd be lost and go away and then I'd be all gone...."
Ummm.
OH NO....
uh oh.
"I'd be lost, and go away and then I'd be all gone."
Okay. WHY he would think that if I didn't get him he'd disappear and be gone, I'm not sure, but this thought was why I had to hold his hand in the truck until the other mall trip, ASSURING him with all my heart that I did get him and would never let him go (awwww) Now I wanted to burst out and go "OH MY BABY it's okay, I'll NEVER let you go, NOT EVER, OH BABY, MOMMA LOVES YOU, and I promise, I PROMISE, we will never go on another ESCALATOR again" but all that would do was reassure him that yes, he could have disappeared forever. So instead I said, "Oh honey, you fell, that was scary, huh? But you're okay now." In a confident, reassuring, Momma knows for real you would never have disappeared and never once DOUBTED that you would.
And you think this story should end now, right? Well, it does, for the escalator trauma sort of ended, after an hour of reassuring commentary, hold handing, and not letting go of Mommy...and the ensuing argument of the proper way the situation SHOULD have been handled between TAH and me.
But then, we went to the mall (elevators only). With two tired three year olds, one recently truamatized in a furniture store. So we got a double-decker fire truck stroller (way cool) and roamed the Mecca of All Malls East and West. Then, we smelled something. Something most foul. The Something Most Foul was temporarily drowned out by the excessive fruity mango scents of the Body Shop (they do home shows now, who knew?) but it became apparent Mom would have to change him.
And Mom did.
Utterly.
"It's rainy green poop, mom" said Turbo the Traumatized.
"Yes, it is," said Mom, wiping bright, flourescent green poop off said Turbo's butt. See, it was rainy, bright green, and liquidy. Someone has an icky sour tummy, I suspect Capt. Crunch Berries. I mean, why else would he be flourescent green? It leaked through his diaper onto his pants. I changed his diaper, and then, refusing to put icky wet, green-pooped-laden diapers on my son, stuck him, diaper and shoes (socks had to go too) in the stroller. I rolled the pants and socks up and stuck them in a plastic bag. Out we went to TAH, who's rolling his eyes at the time it took. Yes, I'd like to see what HE would have done.
He sees Turbo and shakes his head. This has happened before, about seven years ago, in a toy store in North Dakota, with Drama girl. We then went to the nearest children's store to buy Turbo pants. He ends up with overpriced shorts ($20 gimme a break) because someone (TAH) was too impatient to actually look at the price. Okay, in his defense, I don't think he actually knew that they made kid shorts that would cost $20. Turbo sees the pants and yells "I LOVE GREEN PANTS I LOVE GREEN PANTS' and gets all giddy putting them on.
So the story should end here, right?
HA HA HA HA
We are not brave fools, we are simply tenacious. We need furnishings. There is no other choice. We can not wait for the children to be in the right 'mood' for furniture shopping. There is no mood for that. So we move on.
We go to Westminster to check out this uber awesome furniture store that TAH neglected to tell me about. Now let it be said, that if Hubby McRed had told me of this store two weeks ago, we would have not had to spend two weekends scouring the local area's overpriced furniture stores for what we wanted, but 'nuff said.
It felt like HOURS, but finally, FINALLY we find what we are looking for. Well, what we want, but don't need for a few months. We NEEDED an arm chair, we ended up with a love seat and two chairs and ottomans. In our defense, all of it for the SAME PRICE (I love caps) as one arm chair from say, an overpriced furniture store. We also needed counter height chairs for our new dining room table, but neglected to find those, instead finding the perfect counter height table that TAH thought was perfect, but as I mentioned, since he never even bothered to mention this warehouse-sized furniture store to me, he can stuff it.
Something rotten then began to stink, almost as much as the behavior of the now over-tired and over-bored three year olds, who have begun tossing pillow cushions on the floor. Problem, I brought three diapers, I mean, these are three year olds being potty trained, who have one regular poop a day. I was not prepared for rainy green poop. All three diapers had been used. I did my best. I stuck Turbo in the stall, wiped up his little bright green ass, and, lacking a diaper, wiped up the icky green diaper as much as I could. Now, refusing to stick an icky wet green diaper back on my son's butt, I placed three layers of paper towels over the icky diaper, THEN put it back on (Like I said, I had no diapers, having used all three, and it was clear to me NOT having a diaper could result in a far worse situation) and said okay baby, we're all done shopping now. And we were.
Now, the grumpy icky tummy boy is in bed, hopefully the worst of the rainy green poop is gone. I fear however, that Bear is just starting his. Hubby McRed, no longer being called TAH, is now not feeling good, though this probably has to do with the Indian he ate tonight, been awhile since he's had the Indian food.
I am finally chilling.
But it's not just about raining green poop, no, it is the events of a day that can only result in future therapy for Turbo Boy, and true severe reactions to furniture stores of all types.
Green pants, however, reign supreme.
It all started innocently enough.
We ventured out today to buy a kitchen table, since we're still using one of those gray plastic card tables. It all started out great, with a lunch at chilis. It went fairly well at Pier One where we found a counter height kitchen table (sale, thank you) that I like but Hubby McRed, who may also be known as "Tempermental Artist Hair" for reasons I may or may not blog about, is still unsure of the color, even though we now own it. We then went to Flat Irons, or Shopping Mecca Unlike Anything Seen in the East or West, where the trouble started.
Turbo and Bear were half asleep, but willing to venture into The Great Indoors, also known as "Large Massive Store of Overpriced, but Perty, Furniture, Furnishings and Flooring (I saw the soaking tub get-up that one day I Will Own And Put In My Mini-Castle In The Mountains... moving on...
...to escalaters, and, sheltered I am not, but yet I have not ever seen this contraption, an escalater for shopping carts. In the confusion as to what I was supposed to do to get the shopping car to go up, and my disbelief that it would work or was even a good idea, my son wandered ON TO THE ESCALATER. Okay, he's THREE. It's not the moving up that worries me. It's the getting off. He's three, he could tumble and fall all the way back down.
There are differing opinions on how I reacted, and I do not believe that I 'freaked out' as TAH would have you believe. Instead, I, in my wedge heels and still-healing ankle, merely yelled "Jesus Christ" and asked Drama to please run on to the escalaters to hold his hand. Drama ran and did this, but, inexplicably didn't hold his hand. He looked back. Apparently because after saying, not as loudly as one might insist, Jesus Christ, I called his name, he looked back, and fell.
Okay, fell is harsh. Also, I am not a big fan of the JC exclamation, but for some reason, seeing my little three year old all alone on that escalator, it's what came out. Perhaps I was hoping he would appear and do something, seeing as TAH just stood there, figuring if we left him alone he'd be fine.
Well. He fell, yes, but down one step. Then, since the escalater was constantly moving up, and he was trying to get up and crawl off, he really just ended up crawling in one spot yelling 'help momma help come get me.' To which I bravely hurled myself, wedge heel and weak ankle and all, on to the escalater, grasping poor Turbo into my arms, and carrying him up, all the while listening to him say 'get me momma. you came and get me.'
Now, this would have been fine, if we got off, and he carried on happily.
This did not happen.
"that was scary. that was scary. you got me. you got me momma? Hold my hand momma. I want a hand. Don't let go momma. that was scarry. We don't go down. we don't want to go down."
Uh oh.
So after a stroll around the upper level with the scared Drama, and the continuing commentary of his harrowing five seconds, it was time to go down. TAH held his hand and they talked about being brave and not being scared.
To which, upon getting off the escalater, went right out the window as Turbo grasped my hand and said 'it wasn't scary' with the most unconvincing look ever.
Then, to my horror, said "...but I fell and you got me, and you got me cuz I fell and you didn't get me, I'd be lost and go away and then I'd be all gone...."
Ummm.
OH NO....
uh oh.
"I'd be lost, and go away and then I'd be all gone."
Okay. WHY he would think that if I didn't get him he'd disappear and be gone, I'm not sure, but this thought was why I had to hold his hand in the truck until the other mall trip, ASSURING him with all my heart that I did get him and would never let him go (awwww) Now I wanted to burst out and go "OH MY BABY it's okay, I'll NEVER let you go, NOT EVER, OH BABY, MOMMA LOVES YOU, and I promise, I PROMISE, we will never go on another ESCALATOR again" but all that would do was reassure him that yes, he could have disappeared forever. So instead I said, "Oh honey, you fell, that was scary, huh? But you're okay now." In a confident, reassuring, Momma knows for real you would never have disappeared and never once DOUBTED that you would.
And you think this story should end now, right? Well, it does, for the escalator trauma sort of ended, after an hour of reassuring commentary, hold handing, and not letting go of Mommy...and the ensuing argument of the proper way the situation SHOULD have been handled between TAH and me.
But then, we went to the mall (elevators only). With two tired three year olds, one recently truamatized in a furniture store. So we got a double-decker fire truck stroller (way cool) and roamed the Mecca of All Malls East and West. Then, we smelled something. Something most foul. The Something Most Foul was temporarily drowned out by the excessive fruity mango scents of the Body Shop (they do home shows now, who knew?) but it became apparent Mom would have to change him.
And Mom did.
Utterly.
"It's rainy green poop, mom" said Turbo the Traumatized.
"Yes, it is," said Mom, wiping bright, flourescent green poop off said Turbo's butt. See, it was rainy, bright green, and liquidy. Someone has an icky sour tummy, I suspect Capt. Crunch Berries. I mean, why else would he be flourescent green? It leaked through his diaper onto his pants. I changed his diaper, and then, refusing to put icky wet, green-pooped-laden diapers on my son, stuck him, diaper and shoes (socks had to go too) in the stroller. I rolled the pants and socks up and stuck them in a plastic bag. Out we went to TAH, who's rolling his eyes at the time it took. Yes, I'd like to see what HE would have done.
He sees Turbo and shakes his head. This has happened before, about seven years ago, in a toy store in North Dakota, with Drama girl. We then went to the nearest children's store to buy Turbo pants. He ends up with overpriced shorts ($20 gimme a break) because someone (TAH) was too impatient to actually look at the price. Okay, in his defense, I don't think he actually knew that they made kid shorts that would cost $20. Turbo sees the pants and yells "I LOVE GREEN PANTS I LOVE GREEN PANTS' and gets all giddy putting them on.
So the story should end here, right?
HA HA HA HA
We are not brave fools, we are simply tenacious. We need furnishings. There is no other choice. We can not wait for the children to be in the right 'mood' for furniture shopping. There is no mood for that. So we move on.
We go to Westminster to check out this uber awesome furniture store that TAH neglected to tell me about. Now let it be said, that if Hubby McRed had told me of this store two weeks ago, we would have not had to spend two weekends scouring the local area's overpriced furniture stores for what we wanted, but 'nuff said.
It felt like HOURS, but finally, FINALLY we find what we are looking for. Well, what we want, but don't need for a few months. We NEEDED an arm chair, we ended up with a love seat and two chairs and ottomans. In our defense, all of it for the SAME PRICE (I love caps) as one arm chair from say, an overpriced furniture store. We also needed counter height chairs for our new dining room table, but neglected to find those, instead finding the perfect counter height table that TAH thought was perfect, but as I mentioned, since he never even bothered to mention this warehouse-sized furniture store to me, he can stuff it.
Something rotten then began to stink, almost as much as the behavior of the now over-tired and over-bored three year olds, who have begun tossing pillow cushions on the floor. Problem, I brought three diapers, I mean, these are three year olds being potty trained, who have one regular poop a day. I was not prepared for rainy green poop. All three diapers had been used. I did my best. I stuck Turbo in the stall, wiped up his little bright green ass, and, lacking a diaper, wiped up the icky green diaper as much as I could. Now, refusing to stick an icky wet green diaper back on my son's butt, I placed three layers of paper towels over the icky diaper, THEN put it back on (Like I said, I had no diapers, having used all three, and it was clear to me NOT having a diaper could result in a far worse situation) and said okay baby, we're all done shopping now. And we were.
Now, the grumpy icky tummy boy is in bed, hopefully the worst of the rainy green poop is gone. I fear however, that Bear is just starting his. Hubby McRed, no longer being called TAH, is now not feeling good, though this probably has to do with the Indian he ate tonight, been awhile since he's had the Indian food.
I am finally chilling.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
blind dilemma
Okay,
So ignore the midnight anxiety attack about blinds. It's a stress thing.
I'm just going to call tomorrow afternoon and enquire as to the time frame. I know it takes a while to get blinds, so I put up those temporary pleated blinds, and we got curtains for our bedroom, so I'm happy. I'll be getting my daughter her curtains later this week (easy easy since she's doing fairies and a blue room) and the boys will have to be ordered online. (Why can't builders install regular-sized windows, not windows that are 3/4 of a size different?)
Let me just say, I took a bath in my deep soaking tub, and it was bliss. I'm now content.
Still unpacking (ugh) and trying to get rid of the boxes and paper (may resort to slipping items into the builder's dumpster next door ha ha ha) but I'm mostly done.
I found the perfect place to get our kitchen table and 'club chair' because we are doing Scandinavian style inspired room furnishings. By room furnishings, I mean the kitchen table and club chair, we're not refurnishing the whole house, tempting as some of those couches were. You don't come out of a financial recovery with a furniture shopping spree!
The boys got new toddler sleigh beds, courtesy Walmart, $50 a pop. Drama is getting a loft bed next month after cutting her a deal that basically resulted in her getting to get a loft bed if she'd wait a month.
So far, all is well, and we are settling. I will feel settled as soon as paint is on the walls. I despise builder white. I'm allergic to it!
how's everyone else?
So ignore the midnight anxiety attack about blinds. It's a stress thing.
I'm just going to call tomorrow afternoon and enquire as to the time frame. I know it takes a while to get blinds, so I put up those temporary pleated blinds, and we got curtains for our bedroom, so I'm happy. I'll be getting my daughter her curtains later this week (easy easy since she's doing fairies and a blue room) and the boys will have to be ordered online. (Why can't builders install regular-sized windows, not windows that are 3/4 of a size different?)
Let me just say, I took a bath in my deep soaking tub, and it was bliss. I'm now content.
Still unpacking (ugh) and trying to get rid of the boxes and paper (may resort to slipping items into the builder's dumpster next door ha ha ha) but I'm mostly done.
I found the perfect place to get our kitchen table and 'club chair' because we are doing Scandinavian style inspired room furnishings. By room furnishings, I mean the kitchen table and club chair, we're not refurnishing the whole house, tempting as some of those couches were. You don't come out of a financial recovery with a furniture shopping spree!
The boys got new toddler sleigh beds, courtesy Walmart, $50 a pop. Drama is getting a loft bed next month after cutting her a deal that basically resulted in her getting to get a loft bed if she'd wait a month.
So far, all is well, and we are settling. I will feel settled as soon as paint is on the walls. I despise builder white. I'm allergic to it!
how's everyone else?
Friday, March 23, 2007
Blinds blinds blinds
Why is it so hard to get blinds?
I'm still waiting for the home depot to call and set up a time for the measurements.
Actually, at this point, I pretty much decided tomorrow I'm probably going to go back and cancel the order, and use budget blinds. See, I have to wait for the home depot to take measurements before the blinds can even be ordered. Which takes two weeks. It's already been three days and I haven't even received a phone call to schedule a time just to take measurements. Which means that the person won't even be out til sometime late next week. Then, the blinds ordered after that.... The most annoying thing is how annoyed I am with it. I can't even sleep because I'm annoyed they never even bothered to call to set up an appointment. I'm also bothered that it's just going to take so long. I was willing to wait say, two weeks from today. But not two weeks from next Wednesday.... argh.
I"m kind of annoyed because I liked the blinds I picked out, but I don't want to wait three more weeks with wide open windows on the lower level (we're doing our own window treatments upstairs) so... I think I have to ix nay home depot. Should I wait or not wait? I'm definitely going to call home depot, but sheesh, why is it so hard to be professionally timely?
Anyone work with budget blinds?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
In Home, Have Web.
Weeee.
I am living in my own home again.
With internet.
And cable.
But no window treatments... EXHIBITIONIST!
The Home Depot man is supposed to call to set up an appt. for measurements. If he doesn't call today I'm calling the home depot. He has time, it takes two weeks to get the ones I want in (Bali, faux wood, yeah I said faux, what's it to you? Coconut Sandblast, which has a 'faux sanded wood' texture... Bali had an awesome sale -- I PERSONALLY was going to go with 'el home depot cheapo faux wood, but Hubby McRed pointed out we'd only be doing this once, so why not do it right, but faux right, no need to get carried away...
That only leaves the upstairs... Curtains for Drama Girl (and let me tell you, there was much drama when Drama was yakking up her guts the other night... why can't she at least TRY yakking with just a bit of courtesy.... maybe without the aaahhh no no aaaah's or the loud squeals from the acid burns.... I mean it was 2 a.m. for crying out loud, you think she was yakking up alien octupi that spawned in her gut...)
I am thinking shades in the boys room, because they have four windows, and curtains would be just waaay too much.
Well,
YES I'm back weeeeee
I am living in my own home again.
With internet.
And cable.
But no window treatments... EXHIBITIONIST!
The Home Depot man is supposed to call to set up an appt. for measurements. If he doesn't call today I'm calling the home depot. He has time, it takes two weeks to get the ones I want in (Bali, faux wood, yeah I said faux, what's it to you? Coconut Sandblast, which has a 'faux sanded wood' texture... Bali had an awesome sale -- I PERSONALLY was going to go with 'el home depot cheapo faux wood, but Hubby McRed pointed out we'd only be doing this once, so why not do it right, but faux right, no need to get carried away...
That only leaves the upstairs... Curtains for Drama Girl (and let me tell you, there was much drama when Drama was yakking up her guts the other night... why can't she at least TRY yakking with just a bit of courtesy.... maybe without the aaahhh no no aaaah's or the loud squeals from the acid burns.... I mean it was 2 a.m. for crying out loud, you think she was yakking up alien octupi that spawned in her gut...)
I am thinking shades in the boys room, because they have four windows, and curtains would be just waaay too much.
Well,
YES I'm back weeeeee
Monday, March 12, 2007
Colorado Lottery
No, I did not win the 142 million dollar lottery.
I'm sure it was just a mistake, and we will win the 162 million dollar lottery....
I'm sure it was just a mistake, and we will win the 162 million dollar lottery....
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Got Da Money
Okay,
We finally got our money. Turns out they didn't bother funding the other day. Sheesh.
But all is well now.
Except I have to visit the Dread Laws, and that is another blog all unto itself.
I may start a Dread Law blog, depending on how things go.
If you think I exaggerate, and it's just a case of in-law fussiness, you haven't met them or heard the stories. I won't even START the stories now, because it's an entire blog unto itself. Trust me when I say, Dread Law is correct. Darth Law works as well, too. I'm assured things are going to be different, and they aren't going to 'start' but as far as I know, Hell is still pretty freakin' hot...
On the CUTE side of things, Little Miss Drama gave Grandma a BIIIIIIG hug and said she LOVED her, truly sincerely. I mean it was a bear hug. It was cute. Grandpa Bob (her husband, who is just grandpa because what are we going to call him? step grandpa? His name would be inappropriate... anyhow who cares they've been married 15 years) thought it was just so adorable. Turbo and Bear finally warmed up to them all and Turbo fell asleep on Grandma's lap. Cute, considering he spends most of his time telling her 'no, just mommy.'
They've made us feel really welcome here, and this may be a flaw. You see, they did the basement for us, for our visit at Christmas, which was never to be. So then they gave it to my husband for two months while he was working in Colorado and I was back in Wash. Now we are all here, in their souped up basement. I mean, it's got the good carpeting, tile bathroom with hot hot shower, a big comfy bed, cable television, desk with internet, it's decorated to the hilt, I mean, you know, if you only want guests to stay a few days, this isn't the setup that says 'leave in three days'.... ha ha ha.
We're only here til Thursday. It's a longer than normal visit. I've been TRYING to not make a huge footprint but I have three kids, it's hard. So I do dishes and clean up counters and messes and pick up toys and shoes ugh. I don't mind doing it becasue it's not my house but wow it is nice to just leave stuff around every now and again ;) (but really rude when you're at grandma's and it's all soooo nice and pretty... apparently Hubby McRed got his decorating genes from his mom)
So so far all is well on this end.
Ta!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Nooo money yet
Bastages.
GIVE ME MY MONEY..,.
So when they said they were funding yesterday, they apparently didn't.
So when they then said that it would post after midnight, it didn't.
PEOPLE...
There are folks living in my old home, and I have no money.
GIVE ME MY MONEY....
aaahhhhh
GIVE ME MY MONEY..,.
So when they said they were funding yesterday, they apparently didn't.
So when they then said that it would post after midnight, it didn't.
PEOPLE...
There are folks living in my old home, and I have no money.
GIVE ME MY MONEY....
aaahhhhh
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
My Realtor
On why I don't have my money from the house yet...
So I thought the borrowers were just being spastic pinheads that coudldn't get their shit together and kept forgetting documents.
nope.
So apparently, the stock market went bimpity boom.
Lenders have to be able to sell their loans on the secondary market.
Stock market going bimpity boom means that things need to be adjusted, tightened or loosened, based on the market.
So when it went bimpity boom, some requirements on the loans changed, and those changes needed to be incorporated into the documents and resigned. So this took time. Like, four days so far. Okay, three days. But still.
The good news is....
The buyers signed all their paperwork at 3 p.m. today. Which means all the paperwork went to the lender tonight, to be HOPEFULLY recorded and funded tomorrow. I can not imagine WHY it would not be recorded and funded tomorrow, but I'm sure if the lender can find a way to not fund it until Friday, then the lender will use it and not fund til Friday JUST to torment me. However, I'm pretty confident I'm going to get my money since I don't believe anyone would allow the buyers to actually sign closing papers and go to their new home with their new key if they didn't have the loan funding set up. My realtor didn't want to say they would fund tomorrow. This is because she said they'd fund today. I think orginally they wanted a 24 hour doc review, but had agreed not to for this loan. I don't know. I just want my damned money.
So, any lender legalese guys/gals out there who can tell me what the frack is going on or was going on? My realtor insinuated that we weren't the only ones suffering this, and that it was all new ground since it's been so long since the market went bimpity boom.
Anyone? bankers? lenders?
Pretty please?
So I thought the borrowers were just being spastic pinheads that coudldn't get their shit together and kept forgetting documents.
nope.
So apparently, the stock market went bimpity boom.
Lenders have to be able to sell their loans on the secondary market.
Stock market going bimpity boom means that things need to be adjusted, tightened or loosened, based on the market.
So when it went bimpity boom, some requirements on the loans changed, and those changes needed to be incorporated into the documents and resigned. So this took time. Like, four days so far. Okay, three days. But still.
The good news is....
The buyers signed all their paperwork at 3 p.m. today. Which means all the paperwork went to the lender tonight, to be HOPEFULLY recorded and funded tomorrow. I can not imagine WHY it would not be recorded and funded tomorrow, but I'm sure if the lender can find a way to not fund it until Friday, then the lender will use it and not fund til Friday JUST to torment me. However, I'm pretty confident I'm going to get my money since I don't believe anyone would allow the buyers to actually sign closing papers and go to their new home with their new key if they didn't have the loan funding set up. My realtor didn't want to say they would fund tomorrow. This is because she said they'd fund today. I think orginally they wanted a 24 hour doc review, but had agreed not to for this loan. I don't know. I just want my damned money.
So, any lender legalese guys/gals out there who can tell me what the frack is going on or was going on? My realtor insinuated that we weren't the only ones suffering this, and that it was all new ground since it's been so long since the market went bimpity boom.
Anyone? bankers? lenders?
Pretty please?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Colorado
We're here.
We got here after a straight 20-hour drive (literally, and no, you should never do it yourself) sometime Sunday afternoon. Monday I had to meet the movers at the storage unit. Today I had to run around and find a way to open a bank account that would actually let me get my money out, and now, I'm here to say HI I"M HERE, and catch up on homework, and hopefully, sometime this week, sleep.
:)
I will be visiting all my fave blogs this week! I've MISSED them lol. Hope everyone is having fun!
We got here after a straight 20-hour drive (literally, and no, you should never do it yourself) sometime Sunday afternoon. Monday I had to meet the movers at the storage unit. Today I had to run around and find a way to open a bank account that would actually let me get my money out, and now, I'm here to say HI I"M HERE, and catch up on homework, and hopefully, sometime this week, sleep.
:)
I will be visiting all my fave blogs this week! I've MISSED them lol. Hope everyone is having fun!
Friday, March 02, 2007
Irony
Hubby McRed always thinks we are too slow. We are never ready on time, we are never truly prepared, we are never accomodating. (We, being his wife and three children) We slow progress down. We go out of our way to manipulate the universe into going slower. If we were in charge of evolution, we'd barely be out of the marshes.
So, we were going to move today, but now, must wait until tomorrow to make the drive.
Why? What happened? What is the hold up?
......
Hubby McRed's 16-year old Nissan, 300z twin turbo, can't make the drive to Colorado and has to be specially treated to a $1500 (YES I KNOW) carrier service, of which, when given a four day window to pick up the car, called yesterday to say it'd be picked up today, then called this morning to say 'at 7 p.m.' then called again at 7 p.m. to say 'midnight.'
So.
Why are we still here?
Not because of Mom, or the kids, or the cats, (of which only one belongs to me actually) but because of his car.
I refuse to let him even think grumpy thoughts about me, because we were ready to go at 6!
So that is irony. However, Hubby McRed is in too foul a mood for me to express that ironic sentiment. I'll give him a month or three before pointing it out....
So, we were going to move today, but now, must wait until tomorrow to make the drive.
Why? What happened? What is the hold up?
......
Hubby McRed's 16-year old Nissan, 300z twin turbo, can't make the drive to Colorado and has to be specially treated to a $1500 (YES I KNOW) carrier service, of which, when given a four day window to pick up the car, called yesterday to say it'd be picked up today, then called this morning to say 'at 7 p.m.' then called again at 7 p.m. to say 'midnight.'
So.
Why are we still here?
Not because of Mom, or the kids, or the cats, (of which only one belongs to me actually) but because of his car.
I refuse to let him even think grumpy thoughts about me, because we were ready to go at 6!
So that is irony. However, Hubby McRed is in too foul a mood for me to express that ironic sentiment. I'll give him a month or three before pointing it out....
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Moving Day Soon
Moving Day is Friday.
Movers come tomorrow.
We're on our way soon...
And sooo not ready.
oh and
Movers come tomorrow.
We're on our way soon...
And sooo not ready.
oh and
| Your Brain is Green |
 You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual). |
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorisyourbrainquiz/">What Color Is Your Brain?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
One last sticker
Tonight (Friday night) is the last sticker night. Need I say more?
It may not be the greatest work of art ever (I mean, the boys are three and mommy is talentless artwise, but check out drama's good rendition of Daddy McRed on the right, holding her hand.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Do you wish to report the problem
Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close.
We are sorry for the inconvenience.
This crops up every time I try to close a page in internet explorer.
It asks if I want to report the problem. What I want to know is, if I did report the problem, would it get fixed? I mean, if I report the problem to Microsoft, will they then send me an email or notice that says 'Problem fixed, thank you for reporting it.'
So I always say I don't want to report it.
Then the page freezes.
So to close it, I have to hit ctr alt delete, and end the program (web site) that is not responding. Again, not sending the report.
Someone, tell me how to fix this....
If I just switched to Firefox would this problem go away?
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