I wanted to write about July.
I wanted to write about the determined wasp that keeps making new nests next to the ones I poison, resulting in a bizarre guilt for poisoning them in the first place (but really, right over my front entrance? It can't happen.)
I wanted to show pictures of my lettuce garden which is doing better than I expected.
I was going to talk about revisions.
I can't, though, because it seems then that I am ignoring what is going on. By not mentioning it or talking about it, there's an implication that I'm not aware. And I am, I'm aware. I'm horrified. I'm shocked. I'm disgusted. I'm tired. We're all tired. So I have to mention it.
I keep thinking conversations are being held in police stations around the nation - be careful, be vigilant, don't use violence as a first defense, don't go for your weapon first thing, listen, watch, be observant. Try not to take a life in the line of duty.
But I don't know. Two men, two days. Traffic stops. Something is wrong with our nation when being stopped at a traffic stop is a life or death situation. Something is wrong when black mothers and fathers have to talk to their black sons and daughters, especially sons, and tell them how to act, how to avoid confrontation, how to not get shot.
And another day, five cops are shot. And the whole cycle begins again, I think. But then I get hopeful, because I see peaceful protestors and I see people standing up and saying 'this isn't okay in our country' and being counted. Because the majority of my friends, well, all that I know of, believe we have a problem, and want to fix it.
I hope this becomes our priority.
But it's not just this. I woke up sick when I saw the news about the mass shooting in Florida, and became disgusted when it was clear that not enough people have died to get meaningful gun control on the books.
I became madly addicted to c-span during the Democratic sit in and #holdthefloor. I watched the #filibuster all night. I'm inspired and optimistic because finally, people we elected are standing up and fighting for Americans, agree or disagree with them, at least they are fighting for the people that elected them.
#Brexit - yep, couldn't stop following that either. It's significant. It's significant that the beliefs and desires of the older generation are completely out of line with the younger. It's a harsh lesson in not voting because you figured it wouldn't matter (wooboy did it ever matter here). Now, one little vote, and Britain is on the verge of political collapse, if they're not already descending into it.
I'm watching Trump in horror, but there, I think I'm in good company.
I think we are living in dangerous, changing times, and I can't blog about lettuce and wasps and revisions, because today, yesterday, many days this past month and a half, I've been thinking about what is going on in my community, my state, my nation, and the world. I think it's important to pay attention, to witness, and to acknowledge it all.
Oh, I'll blog about lettuce. And wasps. And other things. Probably this week. The times we're living in doesn't mean I stop living the details of life and being happy about lettuce, guilty about the wasps and anxious about my revisions... not at all. But today I want to acknowledge the turmoil our nation and world is in. I want to say, yes, I see an innocent man was shot dead at a routine traffic stop, and I am as shocked by it as anyone. Yes, I think it's horrible 5 police officers were shot. I'm horrified about the mass shooting in Florida. I'm not immune to the fact that half of an entire nation (Syria) has had to flee their homeland because of war. I'm concerned about the future of democracy, the world economy, and whether or not Scotland will leave Britain. I also have hope. I also believe we can make things better. We can change. We can stop it. We can do the work to solve these hard problems.