Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Meatless Meals

We had our first vegetarian meal, like, ever.

I informed McRed we were exploring healthier options to include one to two 'meatless meal' nights. This is not like, revolutionary, but in our household, nary a meal be a meal be it meatless.

Tonight was the first one... bulgar pilaf with broccoli and cheese. After all, we all need more whole grains.

It turned out really good. Toss it all into a crock and done, oula.

2 cups uncooked bulgar or cracked wheat (we found the bulgar)
1 tbsp butter/marg
4 medium carrots shredded
2 cans (14.5 oz each) vegetable broth (used chicken, like it mattered -- also needed to add more because my crock pot is large and cooks things faster by half if it's not 2/3rds full)
4 cups chopped thawed frozen brocolli
1 cup shredded colby cheese.

Shove everything into the pot except the brocolli and cheese. Cook on low 6-8 hours or until bulgar is tender (3 hours in my oval big crockpot but i have a big family -- i could double the recipe but I already have leftovers). When that's done, add in broccoli and cheese and when the cheese is melted and brocolli tender (like, five minutes) dinner is done. Serve with rolls.

I'm keeping this one. You can also use this as a side, but since my goal is to make cooking less of a 'thing' and simplify it, I'm not using it as a side.

Ado nothing

Today I let Drama spent a gazillion amount of time sitting in her nightgown playing WoW on my computer. She did this from 11 til 2, and then 3 til 4. She's level 5 and proud, and is trying to send her mommy's character (level 18-19ish) some pretty trinket, how sweet. She's not had a chance to be completely bummy and lazy in a looong while without me booting her outdoors or giving her a chore.

I'm not encouraging her to go and play outside like I would normally do. It's the last week of summer, I'm sick of the kids, and I think they need a break from each other. (rehash I know, but just keeping you up to date) so I finally, at 2, made her get dressed. I finished In Cold Blood, and should be able to sleep again, provided a giant snoring dragon doesn't fall from the sky and land on me again.

I looked out my window to see a neighbor walking his anklebiters and it dawned on me, there are a lot of anklebiters in my neighborhood. It's like, dog-lover-lite... I digress...

Sept. 5 is the first day of school here. We still have to do clothes shopping, but hey, school supplies are done!

So I'm ready to claim quiet afternoon time to Mom again, next week. I can't wait!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A brief entry

I'm trying to shrink my diatribes. Maybe bigger font? More paragraph breaks? Suburban Mom has a nice, easy-to-read format. I don't know if she does HTML or just can format better. I'm going to start working on learning HTML so I can be cleverer on my blog ha ha or at least trick you into thinking all my diatribes are really short. And no, I'm not actually sure if I'm using diatribe, or even spelling it, correctly.

So today's mom's club meeting was kinda fun. I have to admit, I'm glad I stuck with them. There are moms that don't seem to click with me, but their kids are all a few years older, so not the 'normal' group. The other moms are slowly warming up to me. Probably because I'm becoming less flaky and more casual ha ha ha. The grumpy vibes I got, well, I haven't seen those moms in a while. Maybe they left :). I mean, I haven't 'clicked' or hit it off super well but at least I don't feel awkward around the group anymore. Plus, one mom started a mom's night out movie night WOOT.

Anyhow, today was a 'magazine swap' where you bring your old magazines and everyone goes through and picks the one they want. The upside to this is, you get to get rid of all your old magazines, and if you're smart, come home with less. I brought six, I came home with two. All my magazines went, so I didn't have to haul any of them back. Real Simple is a hit with this group. I didn't bother bringing my Sunset magazines, because I believe it's a requirement of living in the Northwest that you have a subscription. Surprisingly, my Shape's went too. Who woulda thunk! I thought I was the only one convinced I could be tone and muscular and a Shape reader model.

The boys LOVED the backyard playset. A couple of the moms have similar playsets which is great, because it would never fit in our backyard. So I actually got to have happy chat time. As usual though, the boys collected every train in the house and walked around with them.

The neighbor girls are acting weird. I drove Drama to art class, and they ran and hid so Drama wouldn't see them. I saw them, but didn't bother telling her. I'd rather she move on from them. The two are both younger than her, one by four years, the other by two. One is starting first grade, the other 2nd or 3rd, my daughter 4th. I don't really mind her playing with the slightly older one, but that other one just causes too much trouble. (see previous, crazy long diatribe in the weekend report) I am not encouraging her to 'go out and play' with her friends this last week. I think a break from them will do her good. But I'm not fobidding her either. That just never works. I wish she'd listen to me, but well, all moms know how THAT goes. But her behavior isn't the behavior of a child who 'is friends with Drama again' as she put it. Yes yes I know she's just a kid, but a kid with few boundaries, and frankly, she's just going to be trouble. I bet you anything she's a bully in school. Shit, she bullies my almost-ten-year-old!

I just got my two new slow cooker cookbooks in. The healthy one has 100 recipes, of which, I predict, 5 will be good. The other, non-healthy one, is a tome. I'll have to adjust ingredients. I'm a big believer in switching out all the fat bad bad ingredients for less-fat-bad ones. If they are really good, I'll share.

How was that?

Monday, August 28, 2006

My New Friend

Okay so we all know I have 'friend issues.'

I can't find one. I have some, but they are in Virginia, and frankly, are being a bit selfish, and refuse to move into my city.

My neighbors aren't really welcoming though our kids play together, so I've somehow become the 'snubbed mom.' This is only by three other moms, the rest of the neighborhood kinda sticks to themselves. I can deal with it. Maybe they will move soon :) ...

In general, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the Washington vibe. I'm still giving off East Coast vibes. My vibrator's not working... ha ha ha ha...ahhh. sad I know.

Today at the lake park up the road, a blonde woman kept making eyes at my boys and me. This, of course, is the pre-conversation check-out. So I checked out her boy and her. I liked her immediately because she had on a gawd-awful sun hat. Anyhow, we start chatting, of course, about the boys, and it turns out she's a twin. Ooh me too! COMMONALITY. Score. Uh-oh. She's Russian. There goes commonality. Oh but wait! She's seperated from her sister, and hasn't seen her in years and misses her, like, a LOT okay, commonality two, I was seperated from my sister for years, and of course, SORELY missed her.

Anyhow, we totally bonded over the separated from family, being a twin, being separated from twin, and being a mom and stuck home all day rote. We exchanged numbers. Ostensibly to get her to a mom's club meeting, but lets be honest, I'm hoping to score a playdate at McDonalds at the least. She seemed really interested. But for all I know really interested is the cultural equivalent of 'will you leave?' She seemed really glad for the conversation, and told me it was very interesting. So, even if we never talk again, we both at least had the same opinion on our conversation, and it was definitely the best conversation I've had with another mom in a long time that didn't take place over AIM. Heck, I even stayed another 40 minutes just to continue talking to her.

One small hitch, her three year old only speaks their language, one that from what I gathered is similar in dialect to Ukranian. Now, for kids I don't think that's a big deal. Toddlers talk with their bodies anyhow. Well, even if we never speak again, I have to admit, I liked her so much, that I really hope she finds something for her that cheers her up. She talked about taking classes, but I don't think she had that set up yet. I hope she does. That'd be a great way for her to get out. I have to admit, the one thing I recognized in her that I see in me, is this total eagerness to MEET someone that can relate. I'm surrounded by moms, but for some reason, we aren't relating. I have a feeling that while for many moms, they have friends and don't feel this sense of not relating, there are a whole slew of others that are sort of slipping between the cracks. I also think that there are some of these moms in my mom's club. Well, duh, I suppose that's one of the reasons they joined...

So if you see a mom and everyone's talking about her like she's the latest gossip dish, are you the woman that will reach out to her, or will you flee to the relative safety of group mom psychotics?

I suppose it depends on who you are.

I have a feeling bloggers tend to not be so hot with the group mom psychotic league.

p.s. I just finished watching International House Hunters and now suddenly have this urging to buy a flat in Amsterdam, and be a European.

Happy Pre-September Week!



August is way too long by far....

Wow. My last two blogs were whopping long.

Well, not this one.

This one is just to announce that the first day of

"The Whole Flippin Frackin Freakin Family Will Rise At 7 a.m. for Breakfast and Then Will Clothe and Ready Themselves For the Freakin Day" has been a success.

McRed set the alarm, and despite midnight visit from Bear, and just-became-dawn visit from Turbo, we both woke up at 7, along with Bear, who HAS to be up when others are, no matter how tired. Turbo just took over the bed. I woke Drama who was so groggy and clueless she actually woke up and slept-walked to the kitchen. I made muffins. Everyone ate. They lounged til 8 but next week school starts and I imagine less lounging since Drama needs two hours to get ready for school and McRed's schedule usually follows the family's, meaning once everyone else is ready at 8 he'll be ready and out the door at 8. Though I'm not opposed to some lounge time in the mornings, this family DOES draw it out...

I'm mightily pleased with myself. Personally, I'd like everyone up at 6:30, but I know this family's limits.

So next week, there will be no moody tired first day blues! My daughter will already be on schedule! WOOT, and by 9 a.m. the boys and I will be ready for our day! Tres excited.

Did I mention I'm 'preschooling' them at home? Okay preschool isn't really necessary at this age (and very pricey) but I figure fun preschool stuff at home will give us all 'mom and boy' time and help them slowly break away from the Thomas Cult. (I had to FIGHT them to put on the Doodlebops over Thomas. You KNOW it's desperate when I do that. I HATE the Doodlebops! I would prefer Sesame but I'm saving that for the afternoon.

Happy Monday!

Happy Pre-September Week!


WHHEEEEEE I smell fall on the air, she's a coming, and I'm a fricken' happy about it!

p.s. on an entirely unrelated note, does anyone know HTML, and if so, is it hard to learn?

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Weekend in (not so) brief

(but don't forget to read my lament on Dentistry ha ha)


Neighbor girl and Drama fight. Neighbor mom assume's it's my daughter's fault. I assume her daughter isn't quite so innocent. She sends my daughter home. I tell daughter neighbor girl is too young (and mean and bossy and all that). Drama is upset and sulking for an hour while I try to cheer her up. I tell Drama to stop hanging with girls that young (she's going to be ten, the other girl is 6, it's just ASKING for trouble). McRed decides I 'handled it wrong' and I got mad. HELLO. All I could do was get Drama out of there, since the mom already started with the "Honey I've never seen you this upset" (please) "Well Drama, are you calling her a liar? Did you call me a mean mom?" argh. I mean, come on. Her daughter changed the story three times. The mom put my kid on the defense. There's no way the truth was going to come out. The kid (hers) was crying. So whatever. I have my ideas. I'm sure my daughter isn't 100 percent innocent, but neither is the other girl. I've seen her at work.

Thirty minutes later, at the ice cream truck, neighbor girl asks Drama to play! All smiley and over it! Her mom says no. We go home. My poor girl WANTED to play with her. Whatever. So later we send her over to her other friend's home, but she's SCARED of the other MOM! (apparently she really does think she's a mean mom....) so she goes walking hesitantly when all of a sudden neighbor girl and the other neighbor girl call her name... what does my brave, righteously indignant, strong-minded girl do? She BOOKS it. I've never seen her run so fast in my life! "DRAMA STOP IGNORING US' um excuse me? Okay okay they are kids, I get it, but COME ON. Like, um, whatever. So what does she do? She stops and talks to them. They had bikes, she couldn't run away ha ha, they book it around the corner after her and they talk her back to the street corner. Then what do I see? The other mom talking to my daughter. I was livid. Hello. She did NOTHING. They called to her. So I couldn't go out because I was saddled with crying toddlers. McRed went out. Go Daddy Go. Go Daddy Go. I was so mad though. So yeah they 'worked it out' yeah because McRed went out there and made sure my daughter got her fair say! He was all acting cool but I know he was annoyed because he ran out in his lounge shorts that could be mistaken for boxers, and t-shirt and socks. And I'm still confused on my neighbors. So whatever. So she says to me 'Looks like they are friends again' and neighbor girl says 'is it true i'm not allowed over to your house and Drama can't come over to mine?' (DAMN Drama for telling her other friend that ha ha) and I said 'well not if you aren't friends.' But I made the rule because I was tired of it! Anyhow, what do I know. She will learn the hard way that having a friend four years younger than you when you're about to hit puberty is not going to work.

ps. i don't hate the girl next door, I think it's just her age. But I believe that you shouldn't give a kid crap when her mom's not around UNLESS that kid just did something like you know, key your car or beat your kid.


McRed melted down. Morning long battle that was, really, dumb, and over, and I was just an innocent victim of 'term paper due tomorrow but haven't started it' stress. So not fair. Will be discussing said unfairness of that later.

Went to dentist. See previous post on Dentistry. One thing I love about this dentist is the whole 'watch a movie while they work' thing. You can't hear the drilling, and so what if the occasional spittle leaps in front of your eyes, your numb, you can't feel anything, and you're being entertained. After the morning I had, it was actually relaxing. And, now all my gums are super bacterial-ridden clean. Well, on one side. They refuse to numb your whole mouth, so it's two appointments.

Came home and read one of my mind candy books, Undead and Unwed. Loved it.

Loved it so much forgot to keep track of the time and the boys, who went down for a nap at two
slept until 7 p.m. YIKES. They ended up staying up til 9:30 p.m. Sometime in the middle of the night, Turbo climbed into our bed. I didn't wake up for it, but should have been suspicous when I dreamt of a dog wearing a Thomas the Tank sweater....


McRed in great mood because he is almost done said Term Paper. I'm goofing off blogging, and pretending the mess that is in my kitchen isn't there, nor the one in the living room. I'm excited about our new schedule tomorrow (family, all of them, up at 7 a.m. for breakfast and out the door by 8 woot) and am eager to start writing now that I'm somewhat organized. (Laundria has not been back)


I'm optimistic. I still run the mom's club book club (I can not read Cold Blood at night, I lay awake listening for sounds of psychotic serial killers lurking in the darkness) and smile and wave at my neighbors, but I no longer expect anything of them, and I care less every day. One of the neighbor's girls "MAY" take gymnastics with my daughter, but that won't last long because they are talking about my daughter moving up a level soon.

The best part? August, my least favorite month, with January, I can never figure out which one I hate most, is ALMOST over!


This is long, but it's something I've obsessed about since I was like, 15.

I want to clear up one thing right now, before I start.

I'm cute. I think. My husband says so. Other guys have told me so. I've picked up the occasionally 'amazing hottie' (who, as all women know, are amazingly boring) and I've turned a head or two in my youth.

I was always cute, born that way. I'll probably die cute, too. I have really bad days, where I look horrendously thugish, or frumpy gone way wrong, or downright hobo. On an okay day, I think I'd make a great dwarf, minus the beard, unless I run out of facial hair remover...

But, I was also occasionally 'hot' in my youth, when I was, get this, THIN... and wore... BELLY BARING SHIRTS... ah the days... (Youth being defined as under 30. I lost the hot factor a few years ago.)

On a REALLY good night, I have been called, lascivious, (in the good, you are sexy, not the bad, you are a ho, way) and not by my husband. Or a drunk. So I have my really good days too. (Just so you know, I'm trying to improve my wardrobe so I never look like a hobo again)

While I may never really 'turn' heads anymore, I have retained some 'cuteness' I like to think. (Let me live the dream people)

I admit I'm quirky, but if you blog you have to be, so that's just a given. Yes, I'm pudgy, but three kids, and a love of bread, cheese and Haagan-Daaz, and see how you fare. I am also curvy, so I have some room with pudgy, but short, so that almost cancels out the advantage but not quite.

I only say this, because, when you read the next line I don't want you to get the wrong impression... See...

I have horrible teeth. Oh they don't look bad at a glance, it's not like one's sticking out, or they are so yellow people ask me if I dyed them intentionally that way, or anything like that. Most people tell me they don't mind them, but only my friends who I admit my toothy obsession with.

It's just I have an abnormally small mouth (yet so much noise comes from it) and my teeth are overcrowded and one sticks out juuuuussst a taaad, and they aren't pearly pearly white, but then I haven't done the bleaching strips yet. I still have all my wisdom teeth, and somehow, when I was young, like fourth grade, I lost my back adult tooth. My chin recedes just a tad, because my jaw isn't perfectly aligned. Not enough to make me look weird, but just enough to screw up any damn photo I'm in. My profile bites.

Now, you are thinking, nobody has an abnormally small mouth, you're exaggerating. Well, let me say, it took twice as long to do x-rays and the technician, Pablo, who was young and soooo adorable, at least in the opinion of all the women in the office at the time including me, (though his eyebrows were a bit thick...) needed to call for assistance. For the first time in history, my DENTIST had to wait on ME! HA. And they told me, yes, it was rather small, and overcrowded.

So if I have horrible teeth, you are probably imaginging tooth decay and gummy grins in my near future. HA. Nope. Though McRed, who has had a ROOT CANAL ALREADY, assured me that if HE needed a root canal I would need like, seven. What do I need? Deep cleaning of the gums (apparently, I don't floss enough) which weren't in bad shape but could just 'use it' and um, a couple of cavities SOO SMALL she said, that she wouldn't bother doing anything with them except that I told her I'm going to get braces. She said braces make cleaning teeth harder, so I should just fill them, and she probably wouldn't charge me for one or two of them when she uses the nice white sealant because they were so small. I got this dentist on a recommendation, and let me tell you, she is great.

She told me I was nowhere near root canals or crowns, and the most important thing I could do is get the braces.

I'm in my 30s. So what do my dentists and every technician ask me?

"Why have you waited so long?"


Fuck you? No no not the right response.
Why the fuck do you think I waited so long?
Because I LOVE the uniqueness of my teeth!
I enjoy my slightly recessed chin.
There is nothing that says 'sexy' than a smile full of lopsided teeth.

I don't want to explain 'gee because we were fucking broke, alright? and teeth weren't up there on my parent's priority lists of food and stuff, and when I was 17, I had the chance, but I got scared and I also knew it cost a LOT of money my father didn't really have and since I had a boyfriend and have had other boyfriends I knew it wasn't SO ALTERING that I was unattractive so I bailed.

Then I joined the military and didn't have the money and was young and didn't want to bother. Then I got married and wanted to bother, but we JUST never had the money until after we left the military (go figure) some years ago, and then we bought a house and got pregnant and moved and well life got in the way. Now we are settled and stable. Now we can do this. But I don't like having to explain it.

So my new line is going to be not rude, but not informative. I don't like explaining it (but I don't mind on a blog ha ha) and I don't feel I should have to. So I'm just going to say 'I never had the opportunity' and if they say 'why not' I'll say 'lots of reasons' which may be rude, but look, if my parents HAD the money I WOULD have gotten braces. It's common sense. So if an adult gets braces, the logical assumption is that for some (probably financial) reason, the parents didn't let them get braces.


Now, the one thing I dread.

They'll probably have to pull at least one of my wisdom teeth (apparently I can keep the others weee) and um, break my jaw.


But I'm feeling good about it, and I just need to make sure I make the consultation appointment next week while I feel good about it.

My dentist even gave me a free panel x-ray to give the ortho so I don't have to pay for it. She even gave me a recommendation for who she said was an 'excellent' ortho, and didn't recommend the guy that works in their office because, she said, (and this is scary) a specialist would probably be better. YIKES>

So. My teeth are bad. I will suffer amazing pain to get them straightened. Apparently, with my new shiny straight teeth (in two years) I will look hot again, and be thin, too, from the forced liquid diet for like, two months.

Because if they break your jaw, you can't eat, so you get thin... See, every cloud has it's lining....

Thursday, August 24, 2006

blog blog

I am taking a few days off (again) from blogging.

I just have nothing witty or clever to say.

well, I never have, but seriously, I have NOTHING to say.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Lawn Mower Gnomes

Someone mowed our lawn.

We suspect the neighbors.

We don't understand why, and are not quite sure what to do.

We went to the store this weekend, and came back and the neighbors were sorta watching us. So we waved and tracked all the kids down and dragged them inside. McRed made a comment about them expecting us to come over sometime. It was an odd comment looking back.

Today I went to take Drama to the dentist (three baby teeth need to be pulled, one cavity tooth pulled - baby again - and a cavity replaced) and noticed, hmm, the lawn seems shorter. Not only shorter, but, it looks, well, edged.

I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I am certainly happy as I don't have to do it. On the other, should I be embarassed (I mean, it was NOT that bad, seriously, it's been worse -- my other neighbor's is all brown nobody sneaks out and turns on his water...) or just let it go? Should I sneak out at midnight and leave 'if you mowed my lawn thank you' cards at all the suspects homes?

Remember, these are my most confusing neighbors ever. I never know what they are thinking, how to act around them or anything.

Mowed my lawn.

I can't believe it.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I'm Back

Please, hold the applause.

No seriously, the five of you who read my blog don't need to cheer.

I was actually back on Friday but it takes me a while to recuperate from a visit to my sister's. Mainly because a visit to my sister's entails extremely hyperactive children. Though really I'm just glad of the shopping, because I have shopping envy as well. See, she has an uber shopping area with J.Jill and Crate and Barrell. We do too, and it's not THAT far away, but I have to take a major, crowded freeway to a crowded overflowing mall parking lot in a really overcrowded too-many-drivers area. I prefer the outdoor shopping centers, the ones with water features and play areas that are outside and all that. We have a brand smacking new one downtown but sadly it is catering to like, the 15 year olds. Ugh. I'm hoping the second and third phases will include oh, a bookstore, say.

I have to admit I have park envy. Her neighborhood has a WAY better park than my neighborhood, and nicer nature trails. But dang it, we have more sun. And the manmade lake has a walking trail I've just never bothered to check out ha ha. And we don't have a bamboo forest trying to reestablish itself in our backyard, so there is that. Lets just not talk about the mint jungle that's trying to make a comeback in the recently-cleared corner of the yard.

I've decided, garden-wise, to find shade for a shade garden. I'm embracing bulbs and flowers and hostas. Dammit. I will have a proper pretty garden next year somehow.

Fall is coming and I'm really excited. There's nothing more exciting than the end of summer for me. I don't know why. I love fall though. My eldest will be going back to school. I won't be sweltering in the heat. I've got many plans...plans to kill the rest of the garden this summer so I can start anew (minus the roses, we keep roses, perty roses), plans to complete writing, astrology (yes, I embrace the zen of astrological giddiness), plans to cross stitch and watch britcoms (yes, i'm dull), plans to go for longer, fall weather walks, plans to cook primarily using the slow cooker (bought two new slow cooker books, one all healthy meals... I'll let you know how that works Rainy..) and one that includes actual ideas for breakfast, like oats and stuff, so we'll see. And plans to continue the house projects that somehow are slowly but surely getting done!

I plan to embrace fall Sept. 5, the first day of school here. Heat or no, we'll be doing the first crock pot meal. (Why not earlier, well, because I haven't actually been cooking much this summer, and why ruin a trend?)

The rest is boring, so quit reading unless you are really fascinated by house projects due to too much Trading Spaces and While You Were Out. (I think Evan Farmer is hot)

The floors are done. WOOT. McRed is going to finish the door jams to the bedroom once he's done his insanely crazy term paper. His next plan is the stairs. I'll be painting the stairs walls and the hall.

Then I'll do the boy's room. VERY excited, but I did snuff out McRed's economical idea of using the orange for their room as well. I'm thinking a deep blue and teal on the walls to go with the tealish rug (which I'll cover with another rug) and also a roller shade for their room with curtains. I love roller shades. They are more suited to kids and apartments, and are kinda cheap, but they are great for kids rooms. Kids and cats destroy blinds. And look better, imo.The inspiration is underwater futuristic living. So I'll have to find neat wall stuff for them. Fish and boat and submarine stuff. Might be hard. I love roller shades. They are more suited to kids and apartments, and are kinda cheap, but they are great for kids rooms. Kids and cats destroy blinds. And look better, imo.

While we're doing this, I'll slowly be budgeting and buying the parts for my new bathroom which I've sent for a January time frame. (That means, really, that in January, when it's not together, I'll start whining until McRed says FINE we'll get your stupid thing done :) because the bathroom to him is frivolous. To me, it's my zen spot.) I've found a tub smaller than 58 inches long, a clawfoot replica that's DEEP. And I'm short, 5', so the fact it's not as long is fine :). The walls will be a cool refreshing deep-aquaish blue and the floor white slate or tile or something with maybe deep refreshing blue I don't know, dots or something in them. The vanities will be white, and we won't have one long one, we'll have two seperate ones that are smaller. The mirror will go and be replaced by oval ones with cutesy sconce lighting, and the cabinets will either be replaced or painted white. Probably painted white with new knobs. I'm sooo excited. AND the tub. WOOT.

After the bathroom is our bedroom, which is going to be easy. It's going to be sort of tropical island with more of a primitive rather than tikki tacky look... Bamboo, elephants, etc. (yeah lol I know it sounds tacky...)

Sometime this week or next, I'll be grabbing gazillions of paint swatches for the boys' room and our bathroom.

That's about it. I'm very excited.

Stay tuned for the next blog, the Battle of the Slipcover.

See, now that I've FINALLY gotten our kitchen table (as in, agreed we need it, shopped for and priced, with nicer chairs) McRed is bucking up about the slipcover I spent forever looking for.

Who will win? We shall see....

Saturday, August 12, 2006


If you recently joined the army, went to finance school, and are done, or not done, or will be done, but managed to read this, please let us know exactly where you are and when you will be 'contactable' again, or if you, like others, have vanished off the planet.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Stinky kids, stinky mom

I stink. I just noticed that. It's because it was hot out today and I was running around trying to do a gazillion things.

My kids stink too.

Everyone is getting a bath tomorrow after Mister Appraiser comes by. We are refinancing, and he is just going to tell us our house is worth as much as we say it is. It should be fine. We're not actually refinancing for how much the house is currently worth.

But we spent the week doing all sorts of projects and cleaning, to the point where tomorrow, I'm going to rush through my last final, which I'll probably do horrendous on, and then goof off gloriously all tomorrow night and all day Wednesday. I can't wait. But dont' tell my husband. He would get grumpy knowing that I was taking an 'easy' day while he was working. But I've spent soo much time on papers for classes, house projects, cleaning, yard projects etc etc so he can wait.

Now, we only have a few minor projects to finish and they are mostly his muahahah. My next project is the boy's room. I can't wait.

Man though I wish I could just blow off that last final...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Home Improvement

The chaos.
The stress.
The emotion.
The victories.
The defeats.

Yes, it's home improvement week at our home.

What projects will finally, after months of lingering at half completion, get done?
What projects will be left undone for another six months to forever?
Will I really 'retouchup' the blue paint in the living room?
Will the third set of curtains bought for the kitchen window actually match the room?
Will McRed really make the yard look presentable?
Will Drama really keep her room clean? (We all know she won't, but lets just pretend cleanliness is an option)

We will find out, at the end of Home Improvement Week, extended until midnight, Monday evening.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


"Oh, Shit," said I, thinking that this was the one off thing that happened during my so far uneventful day.

It started out fine. A nice morning of cuddling with Turbo and Bear, who absolutely insisted I sit down so they could cuddle with me in front of Thomas the Tank, while Daddy, up early for coffee, expressed his dislike of Gordon, the grumpier train of the lot. We saw daddy off to work, and got busy. I dusted (yes, actually, dusted) the china cabinet, the ceiling fan (if you have a ceiling fan, take a look at it when it's not moving... the horror lingers) cleaned off the windowsill and actually windexed the sliding glass doors and kitchen window. The kitchen isn't really clean yet, but it's well on its way. Got dressed, in, for one, a really cute outfit that screams 'happy suburban mom thrilled with the color palette considered acceptable for the modern mother' and went to Subway for a quick lunch before dropping Drama off to her two hour art camp. All is well.

Kid dropped off at art camp, check
Go to library, pay for destroyed Thomas book and insist two books listed not returned were returned, check
Go to Fred Myerland, drop kids off at playland and get essentials, check

All is well

Pick up kids, check.
Put groceries in truck, check.
Uh oh. Forgot to fax paperwork.. fine, Fred Myers has a fax machine, turn around and

"OH SHIT" I say, as....

The bottle of wine I jsut bought fell out of the back of the truck and splattered (luckily, none of the wine actually hit me) glass and wine everywhere. Ugh.

I started picking up and moving the glass while old ladies come over and shoo me away (old ladies, apparently, aren't offended by "OH SHIT" in quite the way some younger women who happen to be moms, are... They go get help. Help arrives, one donning a carriage girl vest, another is just a civilian extra who for some bizarre reason, is helping the new girl out, despite the fact she doesn't actually work for Fred Myer. Whatever. She offers to stay with the truck and make sure nobody steps in the glass and suggests I go get a new bottle of wine, because she's sure they are good about customer service. So I go back in, because I have to fax something anyhow, and hell, might as well see if they hand out bottles of wine to idiots that can't load a truck right. (Yes, they do)

That was the best part of the next 30 minutes.

I fax my papers, get the replacement bottle of wine, and am now waiting for the fax to go through. All of a sudden, Turbo stands up and wants OUT of the back of the carriage. Okay, fine, if it'll shut him up... he plays under the carriage. I make a mental note not to step or roll over him. Then, Bear wants his shoes off NOW. He takes one off and yells for his shoes to be off. Fine, it's summer. I take off his shoe. Now, he wants out, but he can't get out of hte carraige, he has no shoes. So I hold him, and he just just lets out this bloodcurdling wail of misery, anguish, suffering, and absolute injustice. I end up just holding him. It's easier and we are ALMOST done. Okay, now we're done.

"Hey Buddies," I say, with the kind of cheerfullness that takes several years (I've practiced with Drama) to perfect. "Lets go get sissie!" Okay, Bear is on board, but Turbo, Turbo has decided to be cute. He's going to CRAWL and not walk. Um, mommy's on the clock buddy, get up. NO. I drag him to his feet. He drops back to his feet. I say, fine, crawl. And speed up going 'bye bye Turbo,' "No Mommy wait up" ahh, I think, victory, now he must be running to catch up, but wait, I don't hear the normal pitter patter of running feet, so I turn and instead, speed crawling. Okay good enough. Whatever. So I walk, but then turn around, and OH NO. He's decided to CRAWL BACKWARDS which means he's going in the opposite direction, sliding along the floor. I walk over, leave the carriage and my purse and new wine, drag Bear, lean over, and pick Turbo up under his shoulders, half-dragging him along ot the carriage where I put shoeless Bear down, and dump Turbo in. I pick Bear back up. We walk. Turbo lets out a blood curdling scream almost but not quite as potent as Bear's earlier one. Then stands up and LEAPS out of the carriage at me.

So now.

I'm carrying two 30-pound sacks of misbehaving imps.
Pushing a carriage with my stomach.
And and the worst?
Having to SMILE back at all the people smiling at me.

I get home, thinking they are worn out. No.

I am worn out, they are not.

In an act of despearation, I take them to the park, where Turbo runs faster, longer, harder than any other two and a half year old, even exhausting Bear, who usually can match his brother, but then the two exist by harvesting the power of the sun... It's 5 p.m. I'm still exhausted and they are NOT.

someone help me....