Monday, May 26, 2008

Rained out!

Of course it rained, it is Memorial Day, of course. Now, I know some places have perfectly sunny Memorial Days. We do too, except when I have something planned.

I was just going to drag Hubby McRed and the boys and Drama Girl to the nice big park. We woke up to a day fit for sweatshirts, long cups of coffee and a steadfast resolve not to walk out the front door into the sky that was about to rain, followed by the sky that did rain, and then some, with sound and lighting effects... in fact, it's still raining.

You'd think I'd be bothered. Bummed. Buggered. Whatever.

I would have been.

Except I rather enjoyed sitting on the couch doing nothing, followed by...


A NAP!!!!

That's right, I took a NAP!

I love naps, but I never get them. I can't remember the last time I had a proper nap! I had a proper crawl-under-the-covers-in-the-afternoon nap that lasted til early evening!

A major point to this was the way I went about it. I slipped upstairs silently while Hubby McRed was 'reorganizing' his music library on the lap top and the boys were in their room doing whatever it is they do when I'm not paying attention and Drama Girl was grounded to her room until 3024 or when her room is clean, whichever comes first. I slipped upstairs, closed the door quietly, and then, slipped into the covers. Imagine. With the cloudy rain-filled sky, the afternoon cool and the day lazy, how EASY it was to fall into a proper nap where I didn't have to be concerned about falling so deeply asleep that I don't hear the boys experimenting with basic scientific principles, like gravity, and how electricity isn't a toy...

.... nope. Hubby McRed, unbeknownst to him, was in charge.

And, yes, he had to exert parental authority. I heard him as I fell softly into slumber on my soft white fluffy pillow under my soft fluffy down comforter.

He came in at some point, realizing that I was missing, and tried to rouse me:

"AHH. THERE you are. What are you doing? What, what is that... is that... are you taking a NAP?"

"No. I'm not here. I"m not taking a nap. This is not the wife and mother you are looking for... go away..."

I love my jedi mind tricks... when they work....

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Memorail Day, bah humbug

What are you doing on Memorial Day.

I'm not doing anything.

Bah. It's because it's not a real holiday to me.

With Drama, Turbo and Bear, there's just no 'quick weekend getaway' to the beach.
With no job, I don't really appreciate the 'three day weekend' concept.
With school out for summer, there's no real 'holiday' aspect for Drama Girl.
With Hubby McRed off work, well, we're going to the park. The nice park, with the big tree climbing play area with slides and such, and water sprays, that I could allegedly go to EVERY DAY, but for some reason, can't be bothered (lazy moms r I).

Take today for instance. It's Saturday.

I'm dragging my kids out with me while I walk the dog for a 45-minute jaunt through the neighborhood. Drama Girl has wagon duty for when the boys crap out on me, as they will. She's not allowed to crap out on me.

This entire effort is to get the dog tired enough to pass as moderately obedient during this afternoons obedience class.

Tonight's celebratory Memorial Day Weekend Fest will involve playing with Dreamweaver.

Now I am being unfair and slightly untrue. Tonight, I'll be making those funky flower pot ice cream thingies I saw on Pioneer Woman's website because tomorrow one set of in-laws are coming over for an afternoon of playing nice. I intend to drag everyone outside, if it's nice enough, fill up the pool with water for the kids, let the dog run rampant on it's leash, and call it a festive occasion.
But we have no grill (Oven fried kebobs anyone?) no seating (blanket on the grass, quintessentially American) and our pool is the lovely spring foam type (waterside entertainment for the urbanites) and the dog will be tied to a stake (not tied to a stake as in, like, a witch tied to a stake, but tethered...).

And I guarantee, by the end of it, despite having gone nowhere and done nothing, SOMEHOW, I will manage to be exhausted (I'll have to have a lie down).

Happy Memorial Day Overrated Weekend!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


My dog is not pure Aussie Cattlehound. She's a mix. Not much of a mix, since she is mostly Aussie at heart. But I've got hopes for her. We're going to wog (jog/walk) when she's finished growing and will walk decently on a leash and pass other dogs without going nutso. I have hopes.

I also hope she'll continue getting along with the boys, but my one surprise...

Drama Girl, the original "I want a dog" voice in this house, isn't bonding well with her. I'm not sure why. I'm taking steps to fix it. For instance, Drama girl is coming with me to obedience classes. She's coming with me on the evening walks, and will have some time with the leash, and she takes her potty three times a day.

The problem is Crazy isn't much of a cuddle monkey dog. Which, frankly, is fine by me. I don't want a cuddle monkey dog. I want a walking/jogging dog that will give me a reason to continue walking/jogging. I mean, I'll exercise a dog before I exercise me, how sad is that? I want a 'hey someone's here and it's midnight' barker. I want a 'lets go explore the trailways together' pal. But not a cuddly monkey dog. She likes to lay down nearish me, maybe next to me, but only heads for the lap once in a great while. I like this.

Drama girl wants cuddle monkey dog I think. I think she isn't nearly as interested in bonding in the physical exercisey way that I am. I think she wanted something that would lay down with her and let her just cuddle, without having said cuddle monkey dog turn around and try to eat her stuffed animals.

I'm not sure if it's temporary, or if she's just not the right personality for this dog. The dog DOES enjoy her exercise and play, and Drama perhaps not so much.

The irony, being, of course, that Turbo is nuts over the dog, playing forbidden games of Tug of War (He is only four, you know) and chasing the dog around the table with the dust pan (why I don't know) and running from the dog on purpose, sticking his booty in the dog's nose so Crazy can smell it.

Bear just laughs at the dog. Helps train her. Helps Turbo trap the dog in their room for unsupervised puppy play.

Drama Girl?

Thinks of new ways to get Crazy out of her room.


Saturday, May 10, 2008

What I'm Reading


Here's May's reading list.

I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith. This is a great, romantic book that won't bore you like Jane Eyre (apologies to Jane Eyre fans). It's romantic and sweet and fun and the narrator is just great, and the characters well, filled with character.

It's Me or the Dog, because I have a dog, and she needs me to read this book.

A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray. It's one of those books I would have loved to have read as a teenager.

I'll have to add descriptions in later. I'm too lazy to actually go to and post the descriptions, what does THAT say about me? Now I must go take dog for walk and then to training.

Yay, I have a degree

So I did it.

I completed all the requirements (re: passed insanely bizarre course with strange teacher more intent on consistency of spaces between sentences than actual content of paper) and will receive my graduate degree. A masters in management. PR concentration. I'm not sure how I should write that. I think if it's a PR job, I would say, Masters in PR and management, and for management, just, masters in management. No, I am not getting an MBA. Why? Because I'm sick of school.

What will I do with this degree?

No idea.

I view it as a tool. It's a tool I have in my toolbox, that while I don't need now, may be able to pull out and use later.

The point is I'm done.

Now, I'm going to write my book.

Which, really, I probably ought to have been doing instead all along.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

To stalk, or not to stalk?

In this fangly new world web order, with its new web laws, and its rewriting social mores, comes up an intriguing question:

To stalk, or not to stalk?

I'm not talking ex boyfriends and girlfriends. Duh, of COURSE we stalk them, I mean, it's better than having to fork out mucho buckos to the high school reunion just to find out if that scumbag you dated turned out to be gay after all, or married some sweet-as-pie hometown girl, or hides in his basement with assault rifles. Much safer, too.

I'm talking.... the friends. The friends you liked, had fun with, and through due course of life events, left behind, and often wonder about, but not in the way that would require any real effort.

So you get an e-mail from a long lost friend who isn't all that long lost since said friend has your actual e-mail and didn't stalk you on classmates or myspace or facebook or linked in or wahtnot, and said friend is asking about other long lost friend, and out of sheer boredom, you spend some time web-stalking (all of five minutes, I mean people, it's not that hard). So, you find this other long-lost friend. But you don't have the original e-mail. The e-mail that validates your friendship, your 'close enough to e-mail me'ness. But, you've narrowed said friend down to some cryptic screen name on MySpace and on some World of Warcraft Post.

You want to say hi.
But it seems......

'Hello Long Lost Friend. I've found you....."

I mean, what if Long Lost Friend is INTENTIONALLY lost?

Ah, what webs we weave when we practice to...weave webs... and such...

to e-mail out of blue, or not to e-mail out of blue?
to stalk, or not to stalk?

Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Alone Shopping Trip

This is not a hugely exciting thing for most people.

And I warn you, if you are male, stop reading now.

Unless you're obsessed with shopping.

Moving on... most people can occasionally go shopping alone.

Wait, if you're not really interested in a riveting discussion about clothing purchases, leave. Seriously.

Shopping alone -- for clothes, I mean. We're not talking slipping out of the house at 7 a.m. to grocery shop without distraction. A key ploy if you're trying to only buy what's on your list.

No, we're talking about shopping.... at one of the modern takes on the old classics, outdoor malls. Remember, indoor malls replaced main street shops. Now, apparently, we all miss cavorting in the weather at outdoor main street shops, so we've developed outdoor shopping malls that resemble main streets, only without the real 'street' part, now they are more like cobble-stoned pedestrian zones... so not the point.

I do prefer them, though, I enjoy fresh air, and when the weather is crappy, those coffee shops and outdoor fire places come in handy.

I had three hours to go shopping. See, here's the thing. I lost all that weight over the last summer, and fall and now, I have no summer clothes. Not one pair of shorts. Hardly any t-shirts. No capris. No skirts.

It was bliss. I actually.... tried things on. I felt like I was in my own private version of What Not To Wear. I carried a coffee around. I was uninhibited by cranky four year olds and a 'why can't I get stuff too' tween.

Oh, and while trying things on, I noticed something shocking.

I went down another size.

Yah. Who woulda thunk!

Now. Clothes. I'm petite. Not, 'petite and can float away like a feather' more like 'petite in a short squat way' and yes, while I've only got the eternal ten pounds to lose, something in my genetic make-up prevents me from being lithe and petite, making it not only possible, but understandable, when I am confused with either a hobbit or a dwarf, or a miniature troll.

But a cute one.

And considering how my sons eat, it may be hobbit.
But then if you watch me run, troll.
But my daughter has a temper of a dwarf.


I've gone and been all angsty about Target before. They just don't make clothes for short hobbitty people. Their tops are too skinny to fit around dwarven boobs. Their pants and shorts are not made for bubbly troll butts. Don't even get me started on the shoes and hobbit feet.

I DID find a pair of shorts that are a bit tight but wearable, and two cute tops by accident, and some adorable hats. BUT for the most part, I can't 'shop' there. I don't do Wal-Mart. For the same reasons as Target, AND the clothes there fall apart on me after two washings. I did all my husband's shopping at Target.

So where do I go? J.C. Penney's clothes have become real crap, in the petite's section anyhow. I don't know WHO is picking out their petite lines, but it might just be my great Polish grandmother Olga. (This is not a Polish joke, it so happens some ancestors of mine were Polish, possibly more so than they ever admitted).

Macy's is too intimidating. I can't stand walking into a store and being so overwhelmed with so much clothing, walking by adorable things, hideous things, 'career' things, 'athletic' things and then have to find the one little corner of clothes that fit me. (Sad, I know.)

So I DO know if I had a job, I"d probably go to Talbot's petites. My sister does and she says it's a nifty place with secret treasures for shorties.

But I don't.

I need park clothes.
Backyard clothes (despite not having a back yard).
Walking clothes.
Casual not frumpy clothes.
Clothes meant for a thirty-something nearer the forty-something end of the spectrum.
Jogging pants with PINK slapped on the butt are not going to cut it. (I don't own any, btw)

I wanted to be trendy. But J. Crew is too cute, and I just never could get into cardigans and argyles the way my too trendy/cute sister does. I mean, argyle? Ugh. Drown me in some Prepsville why don't you. Plaid hasn't been in and wearable since the 80's. I can't get away with grunge flannels, because we're not in Washington anymore.

So yes.

I have three staples, and they are dull, the stores are filled with predictable clothing. They aren't too big. All their lines use the same colors so they are easier to match (trust me, this is key. I have the fashion sense of a troll). They all have petite clothing. They all last years, rather than months.

But they are pricey.

This is why my wardrobe is smaller than my husbands wardrobe.
I couldn't justify spending as much as I wanted.

But, for the first time ever, I shopped SMART. I actually tried on everything, and only bought clothing that I would actually WEAR.

So my take?

Clothing that will last me all summer, next summer and the summer after.

What I could not do?
I could not spend $175 (HOLY CATS BATMAN) on a pair of flip flops. I went to the walking store, and after the man told me these shoes would last like, a decade, I realized I had a pair of shoes from the store from two years ago, and by my count, they have at least 8 more years to go. So maybe in 8 years I'll buy a pair of $175 flip flops.

I did go to the Famous Footwear store to get Hubby McRed some shoes. He's worn through all of his.

So I went to J. Jill, and bought the uberest cute walking shorts. Like wow. They touch the knee, which is perfect, because my main complaint about shorts is how they show thigh. I mean, if you have a great thigh, go for it. Me? Not so much. I then bought two shirts that go with the shorts and other stuff I own. Yes, I bought clothes that go with existing clothes... wow. I wanted a pair of $70 linen pants, they were so cool, but they were $30 too much for pants I almost but not quite loved, though they totally spoke to the frumpy lazy bones inside of me. If they go on sale, they are so mine.

But first I went to Eddie Bauer.
I bought a performance skirt with little slits in the back for movement. It's sooo much cuter than shorts. I don't hate shorts, I"m just very picky about shorts. This is a total casual wear to park, to shopping to anywhere skirt. Then I bought a shirt that matched said skirt. And a short sleeve hoodie so adorable and comfortable I didn't want to take it off. I also bought matching shorts. The shorts are very compatible to all the shirts I own, so score. I avoided the capris, because as a short person, they tend to make me look shorter. I DID find the RIGHT pair of capris, but they didn't have my size. Bugger all that. I bought flip flops in a cute butter scotch that I barely justified, and a cute summer dress that More Gravy found for me online. I tried it on. So cute.

And that's it. Like, I know some of you are in two camps: Of COURSE you shop at those stores, duh, the clothes are better quality and last longer. And the OMIGOSH those shops are so overpriced I go to Marshalls and Target and other places and have NO PROBLEM. I justify it by shopping these places, buying less, and feeling mildly bad about it until I realize these clothes actually look good on me.


Go me.

This is the most boringest post ever!

What do you expect when my life is like, seriously, ONLY this exciting?