Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Things I would have tweeted...

If I hadn't given up social media for a late lent.

I know, I know, you can't be 'late' for Lent. It's marked on the calendars. But time isn't real so Lent can be whenever we want it to be.

I haven't actually given up anything for Lent in years, but I wish I gave up social media at the beginning of Lent so I could tell people I was doing it for Lent.

Then they'd be like, 'oh you're Catholic?' and then I'd stare at them and let an uncomfortable silence take place while I thought about it.

I'm not doing it for Late Lent, which should totally be a thing, for people who were thinking about giving something up, but then couldn't get it together that day, or were weak and blew it on Hour 3. It could be like, 'okay, so you missed First Lent, but don't worry, start now, for Second Lent, and remember, Third Lent is your last chance for sacrifices!

I'm not doing it for regular Lent either.  I'm doing it because I had a social media hissy fit, and I think I'm kind of still having it. I'm only blogging tonight because I'm getting ready to write, and my favorite person to pester before I write has already been inundated with messages from me, so.... it's you, Aunt Connie, just you,,,,

But it's okay. Life is better without social media, really, because I don't have the kind of days that lend itself to social media success but mainly because social media cuts into my writing time. It's an unchecked form of procrastination that leads to actually non-productivity and a deep yearning to move to Canada.

But here are things I'd have tweeted this week if I hadn't given it up:

Cat chasing puppy. Can't help think my pup is doing dog wrong.

Twitterverse... it's the pause between a million voices on Alderaan crying out in terror and those voices being suddenly silenced ... think about it....

Cookie Crisp and Coconut Milk. It's what's for dinner.

Chic taking pics of a pair of new running shoes on bench. Very artsy. Prob. an instagram moment.

I want to feed these coffee shop twigs the cupcakes they're peddling. EAT Skeletor's Minions, EAAAATT...

Facebook status' I'd have posted.

Writing.

Oooh another British Murder Mystery to watch! Heaven!

A chicken drumstick - it's what's for dinner.

Picture of dog.

Picture of dog.

Guilt picture of fat old cat. 

Picture of fat old cat staring down dog.

Writing. Ugh. It hurts... why do the words hurt...

Instagram pics I'd have posted:

Dog
Dog
Dog
Cat
Dog
Random budding leaf because feeling artsy
Dog 
Dog
Pedicure/delete cuz of fat toe
Lavender Latte: see feeling artsy




Sunday, April 02, 2017

Writing procrastination post - literally

This blog is mostly a procrastinating the writing blog. I mean, I'm writing tonight, and I have the scene I'm writing in my head, but before I can sit down and write, I have to get all the pre-writing jitters out.

Lets see, today, I took the dog on a long walk, I went to the store for random things, decided to pay bills and get all my tax items ready,  and looked up kong-stuffing recipes. All of that sounds like normal, reasonable things to do on a weekend, but mostly I did them to avoid this moment, where I'm getting ready to write. I also stopped myself from starting a cleaning project... cleaning projects are the greatest writing procrastination technique in my arsenal of writing procrastination techniques. I suspect I'm not the only writer who uses it, but unlike other writers, I know full well I can write in a messy room/house/desk/whatever... 

But I mean, my house isn't SUPER messy today.  

Writing, though. I'm writing.  I read from some author that all writers have the same repertoire of characters, and as the writer gets better, they cast the characters better. I wonder if that's true, or if the characters just keep recurring until you find the right story for them.

And... blog post procrastination is over, so off to the novel I go.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Some nights are just rough, man

And tonight is one of those nights.

What is this personal space you speak of?
Why don't you want me to bark? Bark bark bark
I don't want to be renamed Barky McBarky Puppy Pants
I've been listening to this chill Pandora station all day and all night and it's been enough to barely keep the edge off. I'm all raw and grumpy. Cranky grumpy me. It's not a good look on me. Well, it might be, but most likely not.

 It all started last night, of course, when I had a perfectly great night and went to sleep early, only to be woken up at midnight by a combination of rain pounding outside, a dripping on metal that wouldn't stop, and the thunking of something in the dryer  because my 13 year old Bear needed clean underwear and decided it was reasonable to do laundry after 11 p.m.

From there, it was listening to the rain, the snoring husband, huffing puppy, and the never-ending thoughts that assault you when you're awake past midnight. Then the coughing kid. So I got up and demanded Bear take allergy medicine in case I dunno... (I might have pointed out how when he was four he had an asthmatic attack that put him in the hospital and it started JUST LIKE THIS, so stop arguing and take the medicine, kid,  because hey, why not freak out the prone-to-hypochondria kid? Bear could stay up fretting the night away, too!)

I never went back to sleep really, but made it to work thinking I'd get through the day and it'd be good. Nap at home. Nap nap nap nap....

Even managed to walk the dog this morning in the same pouring rain that helped keep me up, scoffed down waaaay too much coffee. Felt like a proper writer then - surrounded by rain and powered by caffeine - but it was a looong day, and home... ahhh home.... I mean, I had my nap planned before I walked out the door today...

Made it home and couldn't catch a break. Not. A. Break. No nap, FYI.

More Pandora. It's still on. I'm listening to Florence and the Machine and the Pierces, and Halsey of all things.

But this is my night tonight, in convenient bullet format:

  • The dog is an untrained barking lunatic when people knock at the door and someone knocked at the door - looking for their kid. We never met this dad before - his first impression is a monster puppy and a yelling grumpy lady going on about knocking it off puppy monster of death aaahhhh QUIEEETTT.... probably never see his kid again....
  • The teen boys are untrained, fighting and bickering brothers who, now that they have their own rooms, barge into each other's rooms to start and finish fights.... yup, think they're still fighting....
  • The youngest cat won't stop meowing because he hates the dog....
  • The old cat doesn't have the energy but I feel I should mention him anyhow...
  • There's nothing on television interesting enough to bother with so I can't drain my brain... 
  • No one (meaning me) can nap in these conditions so it's about 9 p.m. and I'm like all over-caffeinated and hyper-sensitive exposed-nerves chick and I should go to bed but I'm trapped...

But, I did write. I worked on my new draft. I'm becoming the draft queen.  I have two novels in various draft stages - one first draft, one third draft, and now, this. It's a difficult decision to not send a novel out to try and be sold. Most people would think it's crazy. I'll probably send the YA Sci Fi out, but my heart is really in this one work I'm on and I think this could get published since YA Sci Fi Dystopia is kinda overdone.

Of course, of course, I think it's utter drivel. And I hope I can fit the phrase 'utter drivel' in my novel because I think ti's underutilized.

But hey, I wrote, even though I'm tired, sooo tired, and cranky, and on edge, and tired, and it's nowhere NEAR the weekend.

So many words.
So many days until the weekend.
So little sleep.



Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hello friends, I'm back again :)

I've come to the astounding conclusion no one actually cares if I lose weight or not.

Oh sure, if I lose a noticeable amount, they'll say 'oh you look great' or 'are you ill?' but then, they'll quickly move on, because they don't really care.

It's true. I know you don't care if I lose weight, oh sure, you'll root for me and say well-done, but I don't look SO very different with the =/- ten pounds to everyone.

Except me, but I stopped obsessing over it. Oh okay, slightly. I'll get a new fitbit, I'll enjoy salads, but for me its' a yearly ritual. Plan to lose twenty pounds overall, lose ten pounds over the summer, gain ten pounds over the winter... etc.  This year, I'm going to try to lose twenty pounds between now and next winter, and not gain any, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

Writing - I am working on a rough draft of a new work, which I'm excited about, but I started writing it at 5 a.m. and it made me sad, so if I do it right, it's a tear jerker people. This does pose a problem, though, because at the same time, I've got my Sci Fi YA novel first draft and second draft done. After my supreme reader friend read it and pointed out the issues with it, I was like 'Forget it' because I didn't think I could fix them, they're not BIG just timely.  But the characters won't leave me alone, which tells me the story needs to be told. Luckily, it's not a first draft, and it just needs revising, which is different than the free-flow writing of a first draft, but it's a lot of writing, and it's two different stories. If I seem to be in several places at once, it's because I'm living in this world while in my head I'm split between two others.

I re-read some inspirational writing quotes, and those always help. It also helps that I'm writing so early in the morning. I begin the day feeling I've accomplished the most important thing, the thing that keeps my sanity in check. I know I'm a writer, and I know if I don't write, I become miserable, unfocused, untethered, and generally discontent. I'm most at peace when I'm writing. It's the same with running/jogging/wogging whatever, the difference is, I could live without the jogging/running, but I don't think I could live without the writing. The running helps the writing, but the reverse is not true.

I'm very chatty today. It's because over the past few months, my mind has been off somewhere sorting stories and words and things out, while in my life, I've been sorting and working things out.

My 20 year old is out of the house now, on her own and all that. My sons are teenagers that have their own rooms, opinions, and ideas of what to do with their days. My husband is happy in his job. I'm happy in my job. I've got a dog to walk and who I'll eventually hike and run with. I'm hoping for a calm season of writing and hiking and laughing.

But lots of writing.

And tuna eating, I think.

I know I should add a picture to this blog, but I think I'm overdoing it with the dog.
I dislike the dog intensely. My ear is inflamed and red and no one
knows why. I'm 15 years old, which means I can be old, cranky,
and overall, an asshole. I've earned it through longevity.


Thursday, March 16, 2017

Introducing Watson


So here's Watson at four months old.
Four months old and so handsome.


Look into my deep, soulful eyes. Deep. So very deep.

I totally am not cattle dog. Nope. No sire.

Well... maybe a little bit...? And by the way... if you don't
throw that toy, I'll fetch you...

I can be stately. Alert. I'll let you know that pizza man is here.
 Yes, yes, I do look part Terrier.
Because I am.
I'm going to be very good. So I'm crossing my ears...
What? It means nothing. Stop anthropomorphizing me. 

I'm so very Watson.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

I know, it's been a while. Just look at the cat pictures.

I know, I know, it's been a while.
Here's my Bounder's adorable face that hides his kinda jerk-ish nature. Except now, because he's so old, he's kind of nice by default. He can't bound anymore, like he used to. Oh how I miss those days when we played that game where we'd wait for me to sneak into the bedroom where he was hiding under the bed, and we would see if he could leap out and attack my legs before I could jump onto the bed from five feet away… fun times… He can't do that anymore. Now he just sits on the couch or bed next to me and gets pets.
Of course I'm judging you. Also, where's my food, and can I
rest my entire 20 pounds of awesome on top of your chest?
You don't really need to breathe that much, right?
Here's Cogsley. He's cute. That should distract you. He doesn't jump out and attack anyone though he has been known to chase a bug or two.

If he looks like a kinda mad professor, he's not, but he is very fluffy and soft, and kinda prissy, and exceptionally chatty and needy. But he's not my cat, he's Husbear's, so he spends his days demanding Husbear talk to him, pet him, play with him, and entertain him.
I have never met a more high maintenance cat.

As for not being on the blog, It's because for a few months, I had to take a short break from social media - I was spending far to much time socializing and getting anxious and worked up that I stopped doing the things I enjoyed.

Like, the quilting, baking, writing, (not enough writing), organizing house, yearly decluttering (right, I haven't actually started yet, but I have DREAMED about it, and planned it) and all the other things that social media and streaming shows like Grimm make it impossible to do.
This is the quilt I started in like, 2015. I think. Anyhow, I said I would finish it in 2016 after not finishing it in 2016. I'm slow with quilts, and that's okay. It's a hobby that I do when I've hit my limit with writing and need to take a break.

I've got the fabric (most of it) and am ready to start this year's quilt, but I'm thinking I want to make a full, queen size quilt so I might need more fabric.

These are the deep thoughts I think, and it makes me happy that they aren't that deep. I save the deep thoughts for writing.

Writing, yes, where am I with that? Well, I've been procrastinating the last revision, because it struck me, I need to get rid of a character that is pretty much in every scene. But she does nothing. So she has to go. Ugh. So sad.

But it's okay. It's writing.

Then, there's also this place that I work. I've only been there six months, but I like it. I like the work. I like the people. I like the culture. I like the values. I like the sense of giving back and meaning. I like the location. It's a very different culture and vibe than my last gig (skipping the year of trying the freelance business,). This is the location:

It snows every day there, because I work in a snow globe. It's awesome. I've always wanted to work in a snow globe. I can't wait til July. It'll be really fun then.

Anyhow, it's on Pearl Street, and Pearl Street is gorgeous, so it's always nice.

I don't even have anything much to say today, just wanted to say 'hi' to everyone, and leave it at that. Oh, and to give you some updated cat pictures, and to let you know that you must never, ever, call my son Sparky, because apparently that is not okay.
Right now Bear (who can not be called Sparky) is actually reading the instructions for his screen editing software because he wants to do classy, professional looking game narration videos because that is totally a thing. I dread it because I'll have to monitor his youtube account for mean comments.

Now this is my cat. Hiding his cute adorable face. He's old. So old. Okay, only 15 years old.
This is Bounder. He's 15 and old. And hiding his face
because he just can't… just caaaannn't.




Tuesday, November 15, 2016

All that Tolkien said that mattters



I said this to someone today, and she laughed, because it totally outed me as a geek. Most of the people I work with kinda know that about me. It just sorta comes out. I often think about what to do with the time I have, and I've blogged about it, and so, of course, you all know, I choose to write with that time (and quilt and bake and whine about the writing). One day, maybe, like Tolkien, I'll be published. I'm probably not going to write an entire epic journey filled with the most direly important quests - unlike Tolkien. And there probably won't be a separate language attached to my stories. But, there will be a book...

I've been thinking about the stories I want to write, and keep wanting to drift into a middle world fantasy, taking me far away from the Science Fiction I'm writing now - it's the ultimate escapism.

I've also been thinking about what to do now, in a world where suddenly, people are nervous and afraid for the future. Oh, they are. There's no use pretending they aren't, or telling them to knock it off. Or to work toward unity. We're too far past that. Too much has been said. It's part of the reason why I pulled back from social media, and the news even. There's so much pain and hate on both sides.

I feel our world has gone mad. Or maybe, looking through history, it's normal for our world to be mad, and this is just how it is. This is not like any other election, or any other year. People are not protesting because they lost the election, people are protesting because they are afraid they will lose their civil rights; their freedoms. They are protesting the voice of mockery and hatred that somehow was not silenced over the course of 16 months. This is a reaction from fear - fear that the things they had will be taken away. I refuse to rage and hate though. I still believe there's a better way than anger.

But I am sad. I didn't want my sons to grow up in a time of turbulence and strife, a time of hardship, when hate and intolerance are trying to gain a foothold in the hearts of my countrymen/women/children. I didn't want them to enter their last year of Middle School and enter High School in a climate of political and social turbulence.

Which brings me back to Tolkien. We all wish that our kids would know peace, prosperity, and kindness, but we can not choose the time they live. We have to raise them with integrity and character and strength, because they are growing up now, no matter the state of the country or the world,  and all they can do is decide what to do with the time given them.