Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Media and Mom Bashing

Shame on our media. I mean, they do what they have to to make the ratings, right, but shame on the women who work in media and propogate mom-bashing. How dare they, the judgemental, perfectly-coiffed employers of nannies...

Yeah yeah I'm talking about that whole big horrible revelation about MOMS that have a DRINK during PLAYDATES. OH MY GAWD.

Nobody mentioned FATHERS that have a DRINK during FAMILY EVENTS while they are watching children. Apparently, the penis appendage makes them more responsible. Which is funny, really, because I always thought it was the other way around. The thing is, the Superbowl is coming up... Why aren't the media doing an article on how men drinking beer during the Superbowl and eating high-cholesterol chicken wings and gorging on chips and dip is WRONG because the children are home? What kind of an example are they giving their sons? That BEER and HOT WINGS are okay?

I don't care if women get together and have a glass of wine during an afteroon playgroup. Frankly, I wish my mom's club did that. I'm not mad at them for not, they do have a charter to follow. Most of them wouldn't care, I mean, they do small 'out of mom's club' groups open to all but that are a bit more liberal (Movie Night, for example, the charlatans).

I guess the thing is, they take this very one reasonable story that could easily be a story about mom's saying 'We are human, we are still people, we retain individuality, and if we liked wine before our children were born, we like it now, and we're just going to occasionally have a social afternoon with a glass of wine because Moms are People."

Instead, the media goes nuts... "WILD DRUNKEN MOMS VOMIT IN SANDBOX DURING PLAYGROUP" I mean, I've never seen that headline, but you know you KNOW the media was just wishing they could find someone who did...

Instead, media moms, who I'm sure are total non-drinkers, seriously, if I ever saw any of those media moms with a drink in their hand, I'd ask how they could possibly do that to their child. No it doesn't matter if the child is home with the babysitter/nanny, you have to go home and take care of that child. With your inebriated on one martini self. Shameless floosey.

No, the media moms do the worst thing to Stay At Momhood than anything... they (okay the one on the Today Show) compare us to BABYSITTERS. Like, we're babysitters? That's it? Not mom's, just babysitters? We should treat our children like our babysitters do? We should hold us to the standards we hold our babysitters too? WTF? First, our standards for babysitters are usually slightly generous in that we know it's a limited time, second, omigosh that women did not dare suggest that we are like babysitters. She said, but if it were your babysitter, how would you feel?

Um, well, my babysitter is paid to work, I would hope she's not at a social hour. I wouldn't even approve of her going to a mom's playgroup frankly, because playgroups half the time are about the moms. But the babysitter isn't the 24/7 caretaker, the moms are, and they don't get paid. The child is integrated in every aspect of our lives. The babysitter is more than welcome to leave her paying job of babysitting, and go and get sloshed with her friends down at the local Applebees Happy Hour for all I care. I, as a mom, and an adult, and more than capable of having a glass of wine without losing all faculties.

I bet working moms would get a different reaction. Everyone would assume it was okay for a working mom to have a drink. Because working moms are people. But more importantly, working moms are media moms, and I have a very hard time believe those media moms would state on television how it's not appropriate for them to have a drink at social events.

After all, they are moms too, no matter how they try to pretend that working somehow separates us. A mom is a mom whether the mom works or doesn't work, and I wish the media moms would take a stand for mommyhood instead of continuing their lovely little bash against the very women everyone declares has the hardest, and least respected job, of all, um, next to teaching... stay at home moms.

I had a mom who told me once, "Society is very good at paying lip service to mothers, talking about how important being a mother is, and the value, but they are very poor at really believing it or treating mom's as valuable."

Way to go Today Show, showing us how you are just another media outlet intent on bashing moms for some ratings. Course, I don't watch the Today Show for precisely these reasons, BUT I did read about it and watch a clip on another blog. My favorite is the psychologist with the broken record 'we need to find healthy ways...' yeah yeah yeah.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

A Beautiful Day

It was nice and sunny out, and not at all wet, or cloudy. It was sweater weather.

So after a hectic morning of cleaning, cleaning and cleaning for people to come look at, but not buy, my house, I dropped Drama Girl off at her friend's tenth bday party at the local questionably-reputable bowling alley and took off for the library with Turbo and Bear.

We got distracted by the sparkling blue of the man-made lake and pretty green grassy hills of the park up the road from my house, and upon hearing cries of 'the water the water' I said, do you want to go there?

Like, duh Mom.

One left turn later, we were in the parking lot and headed toward the water where we, in no particular order: Walked along the edge of the water, went down the slide, lasted ten seconds on the swing, threw rocks with mommy in the water, splash, splash, plop, mommy is bad at skipping rocks, walked on the dock because it looked like a bridge over water, with mommy doing the death-grip-hand-hold maneuver, saw a leather (letter? leather?) back sea turtle and talked to it, (rock sculpture of a turtle) walked along cement edges, ran up and down green hills and got our shoes muddy.

THEN after an hour of that, we went to the library for another stash of train books.

It was a gorgeous day.

Drama is still not home, but the birthday party is over and she is spending more time at her friend's home. It should be a totally quiet evening.

Realtor update:

I had four realtors visit today. No one took the offer packets.
No one wants my house.

Whoever keeps track of the hits on their blog, which counters do you use? Any recommendations?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

The House of Finance


The three-time viewers like the house.

They just aren't sure they can afford it.


Excuse me?

Did you miss buying a house 101, where it states 'get preapproved before house hunting?'

I mean, if you don't know whether or not you can afford a home, and haven't bothered doing the preapproval, then all you are doing looking for homes is wasting your time, and more importantly, like, mine, because I've gone out of my way to get out me and my three kids out of your way while you come through my house, expecting that you can actually afford to buy it.

And, I know I'm just uber grumpy about this because if they COULD get the financing and they decide they can afford it, they will put in an offer. HOWEVER, there is a very real chance, finances being a funny thing, they won't get preapproved or they will decide it's too expensive.

So I have to write them off.

We were also someone else's no. 2 choice.

Bah to them.

I haven't even been doing this for two weeks and already I've gone insane. I am never going to be able to keep this up for two more weeks, never mind months...


Thursday, January 25, 2007

Buy Me, Dammit


Those of you who know me won't argue when I say, I am a patient person.

I know it takes time to sell a home. I know it's hard. I know it's a pain letting people traipse through your home, pretending you don't really mind, when the truth is, you don't really mind providing they won't stay past five minutes unless they are really intent on the place. I know all of this.

So I know that when a person returns a second time, it's usually to finalize a decision, yes, no, eh.

And that's hopeful, but not really exciting because eh, no offer, no joy.

But when someone comes, then sends the husband, that usually screams, I like this one. And you would expect then there to be a decision. Not a third visitation. With the father, or father in law.

Anyhow people.

With someone as patient as me, the thing you don't want to hear a realtor say, is the following:
"I've been here so often, I just had to sell your house."

Had. As in, past tense. Yes, he said Had. What does that MEAN!

I mean yes I know what it means, it means, he is supercalifragilisticexpalidotiously sure they will put in an offer.

But of course, to me, it is horrible. ARE they going to put in an offer? Tonight? Tomorrow? Are they going to think about it for a few days? Are they going to bring the Mother, mother-in-law and fifth cousin in first? Or are they going to out of the blue change their mind altogether? I've been around long enough to know it 'aint done til the papers are signed and money's in the bank.

PEOPLE, I am dying here. Buy me. Don't buy me.

But for the love of all that is me, Don't TEASE me!

p.s. the cigar smoke does mask the cat litter, but was frowned upon by my realtors, so I am sticking to Febreeze, ahh, that's nice.... pricey uber-masking fragrance.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Ah, three year olds


"help help"

"help help the bed."

"mama hep me the bed."


"Momma, gotta help Turbo with the bed."

Uh Oh.

Go to find Turbo. Under bed, with bed mattress on top of him.

"Maama, hep me, I'm stuck under the bed."


Why didn't you say so?

"Oh my dahlin Oh my dahlin Oh my dahlin Clementine"

"No mom I'm Bash."


"Oh my dahlin Oh my dahlin Oh my dahlin Bashentine."

Monday, January 22, 2007

The house, and it's oderific inhabitants

Da kitty litter.

I thought that by taking the litter to the garage, it would solve the problem of people without cats or dogs walking in and realizing the place is running rampant with kitties.

I have gotten favorable feedback on my house, with two people 'considering' it. Now frankly, it means no one from this week's visits will put in an offer. They viewed it on Saturday mainly, and it's Monday. If they haven't put in offer in now, it's probably because they are not interested in this house. booo. I mean, we would view homes, and then make a decision. We didn't take 'days' to consider it.

But the one comment she did get was they could smell the cats in the basement... YIKES. Now, when I bought the house, I spent weeks trying to get urine pee out of the carpet in the corner, and it's barely perceptible now. I mean, I think their cat used that corner quite frequently to urinate. But I didn't think they could smell the odor from the garage... yeesh.

Any odor defeating ideas from pet owners, aside from 'throw the cats out?'

The Colts.... won?

And other inconcievables.

First, okay, lets give it to Manning. If he didn't make the Superbowl this year, I do believe he was going to make an appointment with a very high bridge.... I mean how many lost AFC championships? What does great quarterback ratings mean when you don't even have that bling ring?

However, sob sob, no Pats this year. You can't blame either team, they both played really well. Not like the Bears slaughterfest of the Saints.

Now, who will win? Bears? Colts?

I think the Colts will beat the Bears because they have a better offense. I think the Bears have a great defense, but their offense isn't as strong as it needs to be going against a very hungry Manning. Saying that, it should be one fun game to watch.

Who will I root for?

I don't know!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Things I've learned this week

I am not capable of distinguishing smoke-beige from pink-beige, as evidenced by the fact that I painted part of a pink-beige wall smoke-beige, and realized for the first time, since I have moved in here about two years ago, that my basement is not painted with one color, but is painted with two...

You should never, under any circumstances, save left over frosting in your fridge, I don't care if you can store it up to two weeks, the truth is, you won't frost another cake with it and every moment it sits in your fridge, is a temptation because in your mind you know that in the fridge there is a container of cold, chocolatey frosting just waiting to be.... you get the point.

My initial gut reaction that snow on the ground, though now less than an inch, would deter any Washingtonian from coming out and looking at homes has been proven accurate by the lack of phone calls I've received, though i do have two viewings on Saturday.

Little Miss Sunshine is an oddly funny movie. I didn't think I'd like it.

I have discovered the source of my love for oddly-devised gowns that no one actually wears or ever wore, and I've never actually owned... Star Trek... apparently, my idea of beauty and what beautiful women wear, has been influenced by the slinky outfits alien chicks in space wore....

I also have discovered, William Shatner has never really had a proper six pack, yet still, was hot when young.

Sanford and Son plays eternally on TvLand

On TvLand, right now, Capt. Kirk is cuddling with some Indian princess, because he's forgotten about the Enterprise...yet....aggaaainn... cuz he so easily gets distracted...but first he'll save the planet...because yet again, they think he's a god...

My all time favorite game ever, Pats vs Colts, is playing Sunday, and I will only be able to catch the second half... and i'm just sad about it.

Bear understands McRed is in Colorado. Turbo corrected Bear, and informed him he was in a tree. Who knew?

I can lose an entire pound of coffee in my kitchen.

I am too easy on my sons because they are cute.

I am too easy on my daughter because after five minutes of conversing with her I give up.

Favorite conversation of the day:

brrring brrring

"Why the hell did you call me?"
...hmm voice sounds familiar, who is this.... sounds like....
"Did you call me?"
"Are you the bank?"
"Then why did you call me?"
"I didn't call you."
"You're not the bank?"
"Yes, I'm the bank."
"What do you want?"
"You owe me money."
"So you didn't call me."
"Yes, I called you. I'm the bank, you owe me money."
"Your mother wrote your number under the bank."
"Cuz I'm the bank. Give me money."
"What do you want?"
sigh "Nothing, our house is on the market now."
"Yeah, I know that already. Your mother wrote down your number under the bank. Christ. Now I have to go find the number on caller id and find out what the hell it is."
"Love you dad."
"Yeah love you too."

See, my dad DOES call me more than once every three months....

Sunday, January 14, 2007


Did I do all the touch up painting?

Did I clean?

Did I take off all the painters tape still up?


Why not?

Because I'm a procrastinator!

So what will I be doing tonight, after the game, because it HAS to be done tomorrow?

You guessed it.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Snowy March and April

So the last line of a weather report for Denver, Colorado explained how Colorado's early snow, yes, early, as in, January snow is 'early', might solve some of their drought problems, especially since March and April are typically the snowiest months.


I mean, yeah, I expected a snowstorm in March, you know, one big one to end the winter, but apparently, no, April is snowy, too. April Showers implies rain, but in Colorado, it's 'snow.'

I wonder what I can grow there?

I wonder if I'm truly ready to return to a life of winters... I mean as much as I say I miss snow, there is something to be said for, you know, just enough snow to snap a few pics, call it winter, and hang up the gloves for another year.

We had some snow last night. Took the munchkins out for a walk in it and told some adults, yes, adults, to keep their kids out of my yard. They weren't just walking past, the kids were sitting on my lawn making snowballs and tossing them at each other, while the adults hung out on the sidewalk in front of someone else's yard. Now, I personally teach my children to keep out of other people's yards, unless you are visiting. If it were just kids, I would have sent them on my way. Kids are kids, I wouldn't yell or be mean, I'd just say, hey kids, outta the yard, there's a park down the road.

But the adults? They were SHOCKED. Yes, shocked, that I told them to keep the kids out of the yard. Manners? Maybe they were just shocked somebody said something to them. Though I think another adult also told them to you know, get lost. I mean, go play in your own yard, and barring that, the park down the road.

As it were, and I know that above paragraph made me sound, curmudgeony, but this just screams 'old.'

The children are sledding down the middle of the road.

The same road that has a speed limit of 25 but people routinely do 35 down. Yes, it's the back of a neighborhood, yes it snowed, however, many people still drove to work, and there is still traffic. I don't care if you can see all the way down the hill. It's dangerous and dumb.

I'm the only parent in this neighborhood that feels this way. Again, though, as I walked past a couple of kids doing this, I saw two moms put their little preschooler/kindergartners in a sled, sat behind them, and sledded down the middle of the road.

This boggles me. It's not like we live on a hilly road with three people and all three people are home and outside. It's not like they are sledding down a hill onto a road that no one uses. No, they are sledding down the middle of a hilly road, that hasn't been plowed, and is slippery and icy, so any cars coming down the road don't have as much, say, brake power or control. This is not a country neighborhood, either. This is a neighborhood in a city. Ugh.

Last time it snowed, becauese every year it can snow from 0-3 times, my daughter, Drama, came in gushing about how she sledded, and when we inquired as to where, and she told us, McRed and I smiled, and said she was never allowed to do that again, and we didn't care that there was a parent with them.

All parents wonder why their children do some of the things they do. But these parents, don't they understand that by teaching their kid it's okay to sled down the middle of the road are sending a message that doing dumb, dangerous things is okay? Or is it not dumb and dangerous and I'm just being silly...

I remember as a kid of about 12 riding on the hood of older friends cars, it was transport from the bus stop to our home... and I should specify, older brother's friends cars... and this went on until the moms caught us, and I mean, all the moms... and didn't that just end right then and there.

I wonder if some of these moms would be driving the car with the kids on the hood...

Monday, January 08, 2007

Dang that TLC television

I started watching the TLC special on that women who had six children from one marriage, and then she married another guy and then had three sets of twins with one set in neo natal care.

Anyhow never mind the six kids from the first marriage. Just put that out of your mind, yes, I know, it's hard.

Three sets of twins.

I had one set of twins. I could forsee trying to get pregnant again, because it's not common to have more than one set of twins. Well, I could forsee getting pregnant again if I didn't already have an elder kid. Three seems to be enough for now. The point being, say I did try again, and had another set of twins. Obviously, I'd laugh and cry and cry, cry some more, and then cry, but I'd also spend a lot of time picking out another name and getting excited, and yes, there'd be enough love for the extras, but...

Let me tell you what would happen next....

Hey, Honey....


There would be no other chance that I could potentially have a third set of twins.

The woman has 13 kids. She could open up her own little one room school house.

So then I changed over to Supernanny, with the five rambunctious boys that are so rotten the parents want to divorce.

My kids are so angelic.

But hey, they are on Supernanny so obviously they really want to try.

I wonder if I could get my kids to misbehave enough to get her in my house, just you know, for a little help while I'm getting ready to move....

But I can't handle not knowing what is happening to the poor little babies in neo natal, so I had to switch back to TLC, since one of the babies has a hole in his heart...

This is why I don't normally watch TLC.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

A Conversation

"What is moderation?"

"Moderation is not eating three-quarters of a pint of Haagen-daaz. Don't even THINK of asking for ice cream for another week."

I left out the start of the conversation, the part where I discovered my tween ate three quarters of a pint of haagen-daaz... right before bed... on a school night no less!

Moving on...

Go Pats Go... they can so make the Superbowl. But they are playing Chicago. In Chicago. Yeeks.

I was supposed to spend the day cleaning for the realtor, but, and actual ADULT came over today, and we watched football. So I"m cleaning the house tonight. And doing some light painting. I'll be up forever. Which means, I'll have to finish up tomorrow, which means, I may not get to start the gym til Tuesday.

I can live with a one day delay.

Isn't this multi-color thing annoying?

Writing... Am writing yes, tonight, no, cleaning, much cleaning. Writing must wait til tomorrow. /sigh. So many good ideas tonight, but, realtor, house, must sell....

Informed Hubby McRed that when he came home for a week in March, his friend, whom I'll refer to as ADULT, offered to help do the landscaping and house stuff. This is my way of letting Hubby McRed know that, no, it's not REALLY going to get done while he's gone becaues um, I'm not like, a construction person, and my one attempt at using super adhesive construction glue resulted in an hour of applying 'Goof Off' to my new floor.... Oh, and that it's been raining forever.

Friday, January 05, 2007

broke, so broke...

I wonder how many people are as broke as me.

I mean, it's a rhetorical question. But we are recoving from that slight whole 3-month-unemployment stint. And the income is welcome, but sheesh. Until we sell the house, we're going to be tighter than size 4 jeans on my happy ass.

Budgets are great when you have room to well, budget.

I remember scenes from my childhood. Mainly, 'yes, we mailed the check' half-truths responses to the myriad of bill collectors calling. We're not there. Nor are we at the 'credit counseling' bit where you throw your credit cards at them sob 'i can't take it anymore' and they cut your payments virtually in half and solve it for you while you just cut one small check for a few years. Tempting, but not there yet.

And it's this big secret, right. Because listen people, we are the ONLY ones struggling here. EVERYONE ELSE except us, has it peachy....

Okay I do know that's not true. I'm tempted to buy the total money makeover book with a gift certificate I have to Barnes and Noble, but not sure the book is worth the money until well, we actually HAVE money to fix the budget with.

So that's what I'm going to tell the bill people.

"I'm sorry, the budget is broken, however, as soon as the correct parts come in, the budget will be fixed, and we'll be able to help you." Parts being money.

So back to hoping the house sells soon! I meet the realtor on Monday, and am hoping that my house will be the exception, though it's not 'exception' quality... I mean, you have three kids, three cats in a house decorated for three kids and three cats, you'll know what I mean...

It's Friday, the wind and rain is pommeling, Colorado is getting MORE snow (I mean come on, I hope this isn't a new weather pattern that will last the entire time I live there) and the light in all of this is that my fence won't get knocked down. Because you can't knock down a fence that's already down. You can kick it, but you can't re-knock it down.

Bear and Turbo are in my bed.

"Momma momma" they called after the wind pommeled the windows...

I go to their room and see them standing in the doorway, matching Thomas flannel pajamas *yay I got them to keep their jammies on* Bear cluthching his "dee-dee"

"We need to sleep in momma's bed"

so on the way there... Bear says... 'mommy it's stormy out...'


Defeated by the cute.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Meatloaf aghast, cottage pie, alas

Last night's dinner consisted of... mashed potatoes.

Well, meatloaf really. I LOVE meatloaf. I mean, people, ketchup was developed solely for meat loaf. It's the best thing for a winter night meal. Yummy. Meatloaf and mash. I mean really, what is meatloaf, but ground beef mixed with stuff? With a side of mash? It's the perfect meal. With gravy even!

So why is it, the same family that will eat ground beef in s'getti, tacos, chili, macaroni and cheese, hamburger helper, rice, etc etc, won't eat it in the form of meat loaf? What is this objection to one of America's classics? This is the quintessential 1950s meal, clearly a perfect meal since it was developed in such a perfect quintessential time. We love retro. We love quintessential. So what is this 'I don't like meat loaf' thing? Even Turbo and Bear, the little hungry bears, only ate the mashed potatoes. It's not like I did anything funky to it. Make the meat loaf. Bake the meat loaf. I think my children may be too picky. But they need to get un-picky. Becuase sometime in the year 2007 I intend to be back at work (lots of wanting to buy boots going on here) and I am not coming home to make fancy schmancy steak dinners or other gourmet fare.

Yes, my children make me sad.
But the only thing I have to say to them is, I won't make meat loaf again, but you better get used to casseroles.

So tonight is an old stand by I KNOW they will eat. Shepherds Pie. But recently I discovered that what we in North America call Shepherds Pie is actually Cottage Pie. Shepherds Pie is made with lamb. Either way, it's yummy. The kids eat it. It's not meat loaf. It's easy. I mean, like, the easiest thing ever.

You can find the original recipe but basically toss some onion and ground beef in a pan and fry. Add corn. Or, if you forgot to buy corn, mixed veggies. Toss it in a baking dish. Make some instant mash. Layer it over the beef. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake. Eat.


This dish I always intend to use for two nights, but my family goes through the whole thing in one. Tonight I'm trying a more English version of Cottage pie.

Now if only somebody could tell me how to make a pasty, and a cheese and onion pasty and mmm they are sooo good, but no recipes for them. It's hard to define it too because I know I like cornish pastys, I don't know what the cheese and onion ones are actually called. Try putting 'yummy cheese and onion thing with maybe potatoes in a pasty thing' in google and see what you get.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Spicy tea

That's my new hair color.

Let me recount this brief interaction with my mom.

Me: "I'm dying my hair."

Mom: "Oohh what color?"

Me: "Spiced tea, a light auburn."

Mom: "That sounds nice. Why are you coloring it?"

Me: "Because my hair is dull, boring and mousy."

Mom: "Oh. It's not your hair that's dull and boring, it's your life. Changing your hair color won't fix that."


Me: "No, but at least my hair won't be dull and boring anymore."

Mom: "Well, that's true. I'm sure it'll be nice."

It's not nearly as spicy or tea-ish as you'd think. It is nice though. Better than dull mousy brown. My sons accepted my new hair color because I gave them a simple explanation.

"Yes, mommy painted her hair red."

The red hair, which is really more like a red tint on my mousy brown hair, is my response to 2006. I, apparently, went through 2006 with the same attitude as my hair color. I am rectifying that in 2007. I'm going to be spicy. I'm going to be tea. Chai, Vanilla. To be exact.

I made no new years resolutions either. I refuse to commit. I do plan on going to the gym again because I did see myself in some photos, and man do I photograph fat. With a double chin. If people can't learn to make me look pretty in pictures, than I'm going to learn photoshop and start altering them. Because I see myself in the mirror and while I have my pale days, and do sport a couple of unwanted pimples (AT MY AGE!) on a ghastly does-the-sun-exist pallor, I do not look fat! And my double chin is not that prominent! Oh but on film, on picture, where it'll be recorded.... I hereby am banning pics of me.

Now for the house stuff.

I contacted a realtor via email. I love email. No voices. The truth is I'm not ready for one to come by til AT LEAST NEXT YEAR er Monday, because I have some MAJOR cleaning to do and some touch up painting (all the baseboards) and I know they will be like 'paint this, fix that, do this' and the answer is 'no money, sorry, can't... as is sale, yeah it sucks' but it's not that bad I don't think. I just have a real estate agent thing. See, they are sales people. I hate sales people. Even when they are working for me! I get grumpy around them. This is why I'm horrible around them. Plus, I really can't do anything more to my house and I know i'ts not in the BEST shape, so i'll take a few hits, but you know... as long as it's on the market I guess. Though my fence fell down again. The neighbors DID say they'd fix it. Then I propped it up, and they didn't. Now that it fell down again, maybe they will fix it. Or it'll have to wait til spring when hubby visits and is handed a 'how to mend fences for dummy' book....

Now lets all take bets...

In this crappy market, how long will I be here?

Ta and Good Riddance 2006!