Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Don't talk to runners, we're kinda boring, even us slow ones

But nobody is more boring than a runner who writes, or, a writer who runs. Except writers don't talk about their writing, because well, if we talked about our stories, than we'd have spoken the story and then, we'd run out of words when it came time to write the story... so writers are mostly quiet and hide out in their homes or coffee shops, being silently boring, but not inflicting boredom on others. 

But runners who write can talk. Yes, we can talk! About running! Because it's not like you can talk out a run. And if you're not running, which is the best thing to be doing, that, or writing, you're thinking of running, or the writing. Mainly, though, running.

There's not much more time in life for running and writing. Well, work, but who wants to talk about that? We go to bed early to get up early. We spend at least 45 minutes or more a day running or doing something to make us run better or whining about not running or thinking about running. We love running gear even though we don't need much of it. And. We like to talk about running.

It's just true. Any non-runner who knows a runner dreads when the conversations filled with interesting topics like Benedict Cumberbatch, Walking Dead, and anything else, runs low, and then the runner says something seemingly innocent, like, "I ran this morning."

"Oh?" says the non-runner friend, wary and cautious. This never ends well.


...silent pause....

"Windy out, wasn't it?" Inside, the little voice that's like no, no, don't say anything...tooo muuuchhhh...

"Mm. Windy. I don't mind. Resistance training.... blah blah blah.... 

And the runner is off, on hills, windy runs, cold runs, straights, fart-leks, compression gear, times, races, not races, injuries, where it hurts, cold weather running, running indoors vs. outdoors, cross-training, running with the breath, running without tech, running with the bestest tech ever, shoes, shoes, oh the shoes...

I'm looking at new shoes. My tread is gone. 

Anyhow.  On Thanksgiving, don't talk to the runners.


I ran today.

Day 4 of 7 straight days of running 3 miles a day. It's not an epic, marathoner, elite-runner kind of run streak, but hey, it's something to do while my morning boot camp is on hiatus. For some bizarre reason, the trainers all take December off. As if we can all be trusted to go through the entire holiday month eating well and exercising on our own.

Anyhow, I'm not trying for some major streak. Really, it's all part of a clever plan of mine to ensure success when I do this Runners World 36-day-of-running-at-least-a-mile streak, which I'm using as part of another clever plan of mine. By doing the 36 days of running from Thanksgiving to January 1, I'm hoping to spur myself into this crazy mad cold running mayhem for January and February, where I actually go out and run instead of staring out at the cold surrounded by running magazines and books.

I need gimmicks to get me to accomplish my goals.

So three miles every day this week. I've followed it by any of the yoga moves I could remember from yoga class (oh yoga class, how I miss thee) to stretch my poor, tight, what-the-)%TR)#-are-you-doing-to-us muscles.

Because they weren't part of this decision, and my ass has just realized this year that it's actually a muscle, and is expected to do some work.

I'll tell you what though, reader of mine, compression exercise clothing is awesome. You look sleeker, feel stronger, everything's flexed and compacted and you're like, YAH i am SO COOL. Like, Ninja Sleek Warrior Chic... I can RUN for miles, I can LEAP, I can DANCE. I can do TREE POSE for HOURS.... my shadow is thinner than a pencil.

Then you take it off and all of a sudden it's like marshmallows being unleashed onto the's like all your fatty flesh is like 'Freeeeee wwweeeeee arrree freeee"

Seriously, it is.

In running gear: Bad Ass
Out of running gear: Marshmallow Ass

Things to keep in mind.

My sister theorizes that successful blogs, aside from being blogged on frequently, involve recipes and images of food.  In a sad, half-hearted attempt to gain readers and be a blogger blogger, and eat healthy through this perilous, food-laden holiday season, here is my lunch:

Little boats of edamame floating peacefully on a tranquil sea of Edamame-Tofu dip with spiced pita chip shores. All home-made in under 20 minutes.

Looks very green, I know. It's not this green in reality, but I"m going with a Green Grinch theme here. But it's delicious. It's an Elie Krieger recipe. Her image is much better. But it's so very tasty!

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