Friday, April 24, 2015

Getting away from the monkey madness

I couldn't think of a better post title.

Probably because I have decision fatigue, (Thanks El!) which is the difficulty one has after making too many irrelevant or too many minor decisions. I don't usually suffer this, one thing I know about myself is I don't do well with too many choices.

I can handle change, because change is a constant, but I don't go in for the 'change it all' philosophy, but I can sense that in my life, I'm ready for a change. Don't know what kind, but all the signs are there. I have learned over the course of my life to just go with it, to see what comes of these little whispers of 'what if...'

This week was a loooong one. The boys are 'Over' the school year, and they have four weeks left. Drama Girl is 'Over' high school, but not ready for the 'Work World.' I had a slew of appointments which jarred my schedule almost every day, and also left me exhausted. I let myself get too stressed, too wound up and too, I don't know, too not the self I want to be. I forgot about being mindful, and that completely messed me up. I am more at peace when I am mindful. I forgot to be objective, to not take things in, to not hold on to things, to not make it about me, to let go, and to accept, to look for the peaceful path.

Which means I was grumpy, ate poorly, moped about, and was a little(lot) whiny and complainy.

I posted this on facebook:
“Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle."
Another variation is
“Be kind, for every man is fighting a hard battle."
It should be:
“Be pitiful, for every man, every woman, is fighting a hard battle."Often, children, too, but lets leave it at every man, every woman.

We all know that the angriest people are the unhappiest. Sometimes, the nicest, kindest people are
among the unhappiest. Sometimes, kindness is a weapon against misery, just like anger is. The saying was a great reminder for me to be be kind, not only to others, but sheesh, to myself, too. To accept what needs to be accepted, do what needs to be done, to 'be' where I am. 

Also, to not try to complain that the place I'm at is not the place I want to be, because as places go, it's not a bad place! We all have had our battles, or are having them now, or will have them one day. It's how we humans are. There is so much in our minds and in our heads, so we should be kind to others, even the ones who aren't really demonstrating their best qualities. We should also be kind to 
ourselves, because as long as we're trying to improve, we're improving. As long as we are
trying to be better, we're being better. We do make a difference, and we can make big impacts with small words of kindness.

So my long week is over, I've mentally reset myself, pulled myself out of the tired, stressed, wound up monkey mind world, and I've forgiven myself for getting dragged back into it because, of course, I spent at least a night moping at out how unmindful I was being, how I hadn't meditated, how I wasn't
going to work out three times a week and how I was not really taking care of myself. Because that was useful not at all, and now I'm going to get some writing in, because that is the best part of my nights. Well, that and reading really great books.

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