Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Things I would have tweeted...

If I hadn't given up social media for a late lent.

I know, I know, you can't be 'late' for Lent. It's marked on the calendars. But time isn't real so Lent can be whenever we want it to be.

I haven't actually given up anything for Lent in years, but I wish I gave up social media at the beginning of Lent so I could tell people I was doing it for Lent.

Then they'd be like, 'oh you're Catholic?' and then I'd stare at them and let an uncomfortable silence take place while I thought about it.

I'm not doing it for Late Lent, which should totally be a thing, for people who were thinking about giving something up, but then couldn't get it together that day, or were weak and blew it on Hour 3. It could be like, 'okay, so you missed First Lent, but don't worry, start now, for Second Lent, and remember, Third Lent is your last chance for sacrifices!

I'm not doing it for regular Lent either.  I'm doing it because I had a social media hissy fit, and I think I'm kind of still having it. I'm only blogging tonight because I'm getting ready to write, and my favorite person to pester before I write has already been inundated with messages from me, so.... it's you, Aunt Connie, just you,,,,

But it's okay. Life is better without social media, really, because I don't have the kind of days that lend itself to social media success but mainly because social media cuts into my writing time. It's an unchecked form of procrastination that leads to actually non-productivity and a deep yearning to move to Canada.

But here are things I'd have tweeted this week if I hadn't given it up:

Cat chasing puppy. Can't help think my pup is doing dog wrong.

Twitterverse... it's the pause between a million voices on Alderaan crying out in terror and those voices being suddenly silenced ... think about it....

Cookie Crisp and Coconut Milk. It's what's for dinner.

Chic taking pics of a pair of new running shoes on bench. Very artsy. Prob. an instagram moment.

I want to feed these coffee shop twigs the cupcakes they're peddling. EAT Skeletor's Minions, EAAAATT...

Facebook status' I'd have posted.


Oooh another British Murder Mystery to watch! Heaven!

A chicken drumstick - it's what's for dinner.

Picture of dog.

Picture of dog.

Guilt picture of fat old cat. 

Picture of fat old cat staring down dog.

Writing. Ugh. It hurts... why do the words hurt...

Instagram pics I'd have posted:

Random budding leaf because feeling artsy
Pedicure/delete cuz of fat toe
Lavender Latte: see feeling artsy

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