I was working on my paper from hell for the instructor from hell. To accomplish this, I set the boys, Turbo and Bear, on their own in the house. Everything was pretty much as calm as you could expect in this scenario.
But then it was dinner time. Hubby McRed came home. Drama Girl wanted attention. And Bear, who had a nice, calm afternoon nap, was revved. OUT of the kitchen they go. NO running in the house. JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND PLAY.
So they did.
Only for Turbo to come running down the stairs, somewhere between hysterical laughter and hysterical panic.
"Mommy Mommy!" he cried. "Bear is Trying To Get My Penis."
And look. Turbo had barreled down the stairs behind me, for protection, apparently.
Down the stairs fast as can be, arm outstretched, hand making crab-like grabby maneuvers... is Bear.
Laughing hysterically and saying "I'm going to grab your penis..." Pause for his laughter, he thinks he's funny, "I"m going to grab your penis..."
We have a talk about how this sort of game is not okay, I don't CARE if you think it's funny, we do not grab other people's penis'.
But apparently, this is a GREAT game.
Because shortly after, Bear comes running down the stairs, "Turbo's gonna get my penis..."
And then Lahdeeda, yours truly, got fed up, and shouted,
"THIS IS A RULE. We DO NOT grab OTHER PEOPLE"S PENIS' IN THIS HOUSE."
I mean, yes, I had to make a rule....
Actual, cute, non-penis comment of the night (I don't recall the last time I had a day that didn't contain some penis reference from my preschoolers):
"Bear, I'm going to get you a t-shirt, I don't want you sleeping in your belly tonight."
"Okay, mom, and I need t-pants, too..."