Monday, January 30, 2006

Gym Apparell

I have gym apparell issues. I'm not going to lose sleep over it, but it is an issue. I'm short. Gym clothing tends to run long, for some reason. Maybe working out makes you an inch taller. Anyhow, I have to order my gym clothes online through the one store I've found that makes reasonably affordable petite gymwear that actually fits right. Target is institutionally against short people. I don't even go into the women's departments unless I'm looking for shorts.

Which brings me to the next gym problem. Shorts. Now, I recognize that there is a small segment of the population buying these gym shorts, and actually looking good in them. But, for the majority of people, well, we're going to the gym for a reason, and these short shorts do not help. Why do they need to be so short? Have the makers of these shorts seen these machines, and the odd sorts of ways you need to position yourself to do the workout properly? Have they tried doing squats in these shorts? Leg presses? I am afraid that gym shorts should not actually be worn by the majority of people, myself included, to the gym until oh, well, until they get to the point they don't need to go to the gym. So, capris.

Capris are the bestest gym apparell ever. They aren't full leggings, and they aren't shorts. Full length pants are great for winter, but it's spring soon dang it, I want to feel springy, plus it gets hot in the gym. The only problem with capris, they aren't necessarily flattering to short, squat stocky dwarvish folk like me. So what to do? I'm stuck with capris until someone makes a flattering short that hides the extra bit of booty that just sort of lags behind the rest of the booty, the slacker booty, the unmotivated hanger-on booty, the bad-influence booty, the booty you wish the rest of your booty would stop keeping company with, when they make a short that hides that, that would be nice.

And to think, before trying on these shorts, I was going to buy a motivational 'dream' bathing suit to hang on my closet as my 'goal'. HA HA HA.

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