I have blog complexes. And blog anxieties. I've read so many other better blogs. Which wouldn't normally bother me. Nobody can be perfect, somebody in fact, is always better than you or can do more than you or is better at more things than you. This is true of everyone, until you reach God. God created everything in nature to be perfect. If this is true, than I think Satan had a large hand in my garden.... But the point isn't the garden that God forgot, it's that my blog is crappier than everyone elses. Now, not many people read the blog, so it's not a huge issue, however, well, I used to think I was amusing. Then again, before the boys, I used to think on a daily basis. Now I only get thoughts about once every few days.
So today I made a decision. Cleanliness is just not attainable throughout the whole house. I will pick up the living room. I will pick up the kitchen. I am no longer holding myself responsible for my daughter's room, the family room downstairs, any of the bathrooms except for a monthly bleach-offensive where everything must die... or even my bedroom beyond laundry and a walking path. The boys room, well, I"ve put everything in their closet and locked it. I plan to paint over the pencil marks on the wall some day. For those who are mortified at the thought of pencil marks remaining on a perfectly good wall for months at a time let me know, I'll give you my address and paint color preferences. My house wouldn't be an issue if ANY of the other members would be willing to oh I don't know, CLEAN SOMETHING once in a while...
OOOH I finally bought a shredder. This is going to help me throw out years of paperwork that go past seven years and months of junk mail, as well as file important papers. File being subjective. I have a file cabinet. I put important papers in it. I hope to one day use the hanging folder thingies, with labels. I can't wait to use the shredder. I love shredding things. Who knows when that will be...
I have also made another decision. Two hours of writing, 1-3, even if there is mold or fungi speaking to me from the fridge, sink, boys diapers, et al. That is a time I am always home. I can't leave between 1-3 because the boys nap around that time, and when they wake up, they are cranky bears for another half an hour. Getting them to get out of the house and go anywhere is impossible. And my daughter gets home at 3:30. She's not old enough to stay home by herself.
My only gripe today is my trainer. He yelled at me. Hurt my feelings. Made me cry. Okay no. But he did yell at me. Because I was jogging. And I think, if I were someone else, he wouldn't have said 'what the hell do you think you're doing,?' he would have said, "Hi, you know, you don't need to be jogging. Slow down and let me explain this.' Nooo. I get 'What the hell do you think you're doing' so I stated the obvious. "Jogging." "No." "Yes." "No, you were running." "I was jogging." "Same thing." "No." "You're working too hard." Okay, now I"m listening. "Walk. Just walk, walk fast, but don't run or jog." Okay here's my problem with this. I like running. I start walking, and intend to walk, and not jog or run, but once I start walking, I got my ipod on, I got my music on, I'm walking, then faster, and faster, and then Avenging Angels comes on, or some other crazy song only I like, and I'm running, and my mind is off, and I'm running and daydreaming at the same time, it's wonderful. Except when I start daydreaming I'm being chased... but anyhow... so I have a hard time just walking. But I know I'll lose more if I stop running and just jog... bah.
I actually do have more important things to worry about than whether to jog or run, but I just don't feel like whining about them right at the moment.
Two days til my anniversary weekend. Yaay. I plan to shop ridiculously.