Ten Years

Ten years ago, on April 1st, I married this cute, lean, *okay okay skinny, but muscled from lifting lots of big bombs* red-headed airmen that worked on the flightline and rode a shiny red motorcycle who's aspirations at the time involved finding a way to get into motorcycle racing and thinking about trying out for a position that involved doing something dangerous on helicopters.

He's grown up now, has me, three kids, owns an SUV and a sedan, has a nice oh-so-cliche-ish split-level home in a burb, *with an admittedly ugly turquoise carpet* and makes games for a living. His main goals now are to teach his boys to do all the dangerous things he liked doing, but safely, and to get his daughter to stop figuring out how to use her blonde hair to rule the world.

And we're going to celebrate our tenth anniversary alone. Without the kids. Dumping them off with my sister while we go play.

We're staying at the Vintage Plaza in Portland, and it's too expensive, really, for a hotel room, but you only have one ten year anniversary, and we never did much on all the other ones. We only think the decades are important... all the years in between, just filler.

We're going to lounge on a huge king-sized bed *we could have had solarium windows to the night sky, ahh the romance, but no, someone's main request for the weekend was a big ass bed... * plus the jetted two-person jacuzzi, (if i'm not getting the night sky, I'm getting a jacuzzi tub* and I ordered the romance package so yes, for the first time in my life, there will be rose petals... rose petals!... scattered on our sheets ahhh... champagne and breakfast....

I'm debating a massage. I would like one, but I don't really see how to fit it in since the night we arrive we'll probably eat at the restaurant and um, have a pillow fight later on... the next day we'll be shopping and eating and hanging out in the pearl district... www.shopthepearl.com or something, and that night, well, more pillow fighting... the next morning we'll probably do breakfast and depart for more pearl district shopping before we pick up the children. Maybe I can do a massage that morning.

Ahh.

Ten years.

Wow.

Okay everyone married for more than ten years is like, yeah what's your point. Oh and married... people who lived together + married equaling ten years, that doesn't count. The first part is cheating. You don't get to count it, because it's like, um, it's like a game beta. Yeah it's just like the real thing, but it's not really, because it's free and there's no real committment since you can walk at any time... but then beta ends and you have to pay up and oh all of a sudden, it's a little bit different... yeah...a few more complaints to CS cuz now you're paying and you expect there to be less bugs but somehow, there are more...you think maybe you should cancel your account, but you aren't sure because you've already put some time into it and you like the game if only it would work better...

Nope. Whole nother world. That little bit different part is the part where you realize that you can't just be a seperate person anymore. No, you are no longer seen as a separate entity, nor are you a seperate entity. You've been morphed into one entity, a Mr. and Mrs., rather than so and so and his girlfriend or so and so and his boyfriend, now it's "the pluralized version of your name' and words like husband and wife sort of start rolling off people's tongues when they talk about you. All of a sudden, when you think about what you want you must now automatically consider in your brain what your spouse wants, and factor that in to your wants, and that occasionally changes your wants.

It's like, yeah, deep dude.

Ten years.

Well anyhow. Enough on that for tonight.

My main blog was going to be about how today sort of blurred to me. I woke up a bit tired, but had some coffee and was ready to goooo... I was going to go walk with the boys for cardio, then take them to playtime pals, then deposit a check, run some errands, come home, clean, etc etc. I got the boys clothes, but felt, odd, so I thought, I'll sit down for a second. So I sat on the couch. Then, I sort of morphed into a laying on the couch position. Then I got up, and realized, getting up, not such a good idea. So, I laid right back down, and let the boys run amok after changing them and feeding them something, anything, that didn't require effort. I got up to get them a snack or two, and to get them to stop playing with the toaster *one of my smart toddlers tried to toast his own bagel...* then it was their nap and my nap time. I slept for three hours in my bed. Woke up, moved ot the couch, and um, stayed their til my husband came home with soup for me, waffles for him, and well, I thought, i should at least do dishes, *he hates dishes* and he said 'stop doing dishes' ahhh.... a keeper that one.

But if I look back to today, one big sleepy blur. Now it's 11 p.m and I'm tired. From all that sleeping. Really, I'm only up because I had one last essay to do before my week-long break from classes. My sister thinks I'm regretting the whole master's program. I don't know if I'm regretting it. I just don't know if my brain is ready for it. It's been a while. Ugh. Plus, my own writing... I will sort it out. Right now, I'm just taking my sick, sleepy self to bed. I cancelled my trainer appt. tomorrow. I'm sick today, there is no way I'm getting up at 5:30 a.m. just so I can pass out at the gym.

last night I dreamt about cake
oddest dream ever, since I'm not even really a cake person...

Yes, the sun is setting on La La Land... and all the La La's are going to sleep in their happy, comfy, La La beds where they will have happy happy La La dreams...