Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Media and Mom Bashing

Shame on our media. I mean, they do what they have to to make the ratings, right, but shame on the women who work in media and propogate mom-bashing. How dare they, the judgemental, perfectly-coiffed employers of nannies...

Yeah yeah I'm talking about that whole big horrible revelation about MOMS that have a DRINK during PLAYDATES. OH MY GAWD.

Nobody mentioned FATHERS that have a DRINK during FAMILY EVENTS while they are watching children. Apparently, the penis appendage makes them more responsible. Which is funny, really, because I always thought it was the other way around. The thing is, the Superbowl is coming up... Why aren't the media doing an article on how men drinking beer during the Superbowl and eating high-cholesterol chicken wings and gorging on chips and dip is WRONG because the children are home? What kind of an example are they giving their sons? That BEER and HOT WINGS are okay?

I don't care if women get together and have a glass of wine during an afteroon playgroup. Frankly, I wish my mom's club did that. I'm not mad at them for not, they do have a charter to follow. Most of them wouldn't care, I mean, they do small 'out of mom's club' groups open to all but that are a bit more liberal (Movie Night, for example, the charlatans).

I guess the thing is, they take this very one reasonable story that could easily be a story about mom's saying 'We are human, we are still people, we retain individuality, and if we liked wine before our children were born, we like it now, and we're just going to occasionally have a social afternoon with a glass of wine because Moms are People."

Instead, the media goes nuts... "WILD DRUNKEN MOMS VOMIT IN SANDBOX DURING PLAYGROUP" I mean, I've never seen that headline, but you know you KNOW the media was just wishing they could find someone who did...

Instead, media moms, who I'm sure are total non-drinkers, seriously, if I ever saw any of those media moms with a drink in their hand, I'd ask how they could possibly do that to their child. No it doesn't matter if the child is home with the babysitter/nanny, you have to go home and take care of that child. With your inebriated on one martini self. Shameless floosey.

No, the media moms do the worst thing to Stay At Momhood than anything... they (okay the one on the Today Show) compare us to BABYSITTERS. Like, we're babysitters? That's it? Not mom's, just babysitters? We should treat our children like our babysitters do? We should hold us to the standards we hold our babysitters too? WTF? First, our standards for babysitters are usually slightly generous in that we know it's a limited time, second, omigosh that women did not dare suggest that we are like babysitters. She said, but if it were your babysitter, how would you feel?

Um, well, my babysitter is paid to work, I would hope she's not at a social hour. I wouldn't even approve of her going to a mom's playgroup frankly, because playgroups half the time are about the moms. But the babysitter isn't the 24/7 caretaker, the moms are, and they don't get paid. The child is integrated in every aspect of our lives. The babysitter is more than welcome to leave her paying job of babysitting, and go and get sloshed with her friends down at the local Applebees Happy Hour for all I care. I, as a mom, and an adult, and more than capable of having a glass of wine without losing all faculties.

I bet working moms would get a different reaction. Everyone would assume it was okay for a working mom to have a drink. Because working moms are people. But more importantly, working moms are media moms, and I have a very hard time believe those media moms would state on television how it's not appropriate for them to have a drink at social events.

After all, they are moms too, no matter how they try to pretend that working somehow separates us. A mom is a mom whether the mom works or doesn't work, and I wish the media moms would take a stand for mommyhood instead of continuing their lovely little bash against the very women everyone declares has the hardest, and least respected job, of all, um, next to teaching... stay at home moms.

I had a mom who told me once, "Society is very good at paying lip service to mothers, talking about how important being a mother is, and the value, but they are very poor at really believing it or treating mom's as valuable."

Way to go Today Show, showing us how you are just another media outlet intent on bashing moms for some ratings. Course, I don't watch the Today Show for precisely these reasons, BUT I did read about it and watch a clip on another blog. My favorite is the psychologist with the broken record 'we need to find healthy ways...' yeah yeah yeah.


MommasWorld said...

Ouch! I'm a working Mommy (big sad puppy eyes look). My circle of friends in our old neighborhood would not be so appreciative of my bringing a bottle of wine with me when we get together with our children. Has nothing to do with me being a working Mommy only their views. Maybe my new neighbors will be different. Wont you be my neighbor? (smile)

I was just as upset about the whole set up of Suburban Bliss. I put you as a link in my blog after I saw you listed on her blog. I have seen, in person, how the Media twist things so out of proportion and the back lash. My daughter was a guest at a birthday party which was televised. They made the birthday girl look like an absolute brat. They showed her and only her "hitting" her guests with a balloon and edit it in such a way that it made her look like she was just randomly attacking the other children. When in fact all of the children were playing tag and only using the balloons so no one was tagged hard. That was only one small incident compared to the other creative editing of the two weeks worth of taping.

Pageant Mom said...

hmmm... now we all know how pageant mothers feel?? We don't know ANYTHING about the media blowing things out of proportion, or twisting things around LOL Oh and double my bad for being a WORKING pageant mommy!!

I'm can't even really relate much to the Mommy Playgroups anyway; we live waaaayyy out in the country, and between school, birthday parties, pageants, homework, and just hanging out with friends and family we don't have much time to fool with the whole playgroup thing. And personally, if I'm off with the kids and we go to the Mexican restaurant for lunch, I'll have a margarita with my taco. Does that make me bad?? I guess it doesn't matter for now, I can't have one with the meds anyway :o(

Lahdeedah said...

You know,

the thing is, I don't hang with my neighbors either. And while I wouldn't mind a 'cocktail' playgroup, I haven't suffered for the lack of it.

I just think that for the most part, working moms and stay at home moms are all moms, and all have the same overall issues as moms, but the media always likes to pick on one group or the other. yeah they have different struggles and it is harder in a lot of ways buuut... the mom issues, potty training, discipline, etc etc

Most moms I know are transitional, meaning, they are working and going to take some time to stay home, or are, like me, staying home, and eventually hoping to actually get a job (more on THAT endless quest later)or just stay home for a few years, or just wish they could, or, for some, have no desire to stay home, blah blah blah broken record... the point is,

don't give me sad puppy eyes look, I'll just cry.

MommasWorld said...

I have great respect for SAHMs. I use to take off the summer months to be with my children. I truly enjoyed being Betty Crocker Homemaker myself...for the first few weeks. I couldn't wait to get back to work at the end of summer. My house stays a lot cleaner when I am at work and the children are in school.

You are right, no matter if you work in the home or out of the home we are all Moms :-)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

The media only select the facts that make their story seem credible.