Monday, June 04, 2007

Potty Training, Take 1,365

These are boys. They have a male in the house to demonstrate these things. They have incentives. They have praise. They have two different potties each. Three bathrooms to choose from. Books and trains to entertain them while engaged in pottiness. Potty books, to keep them focused.

Nothing has worked.

I even tried just leaving them in their sopping undies, waiting for the 'ewww' factor. I mentioned these were boys. Apparently, with my boys, there is no 'ewww' factor.

I gave them potty treats, but they just complained they wanted the candy, not the potty.
I gave tons of praise, and they said 'all done' and left, only to pee five seconds later on the kitchen floor.
I RUSHED them to the potty at the first sounds of potty occurrence, only to have them suddenly hold it, cease the grunting, and go run away to poop where I can't hear them.
I tried big boy underwear.
I even tried leaving the water running in the sink hoping it would elicit that tinkling desire... to no avail.
They love the underwear at least.

So, what next? Boy pee pee dolls? Mandatory toilet time? Pee in the Bucket contests?


Simple surrender.

They don't want to potty train on my time table. They don't feel, that at 3 1/2 they should be peeing and pooping in a toilet, fine. Far be it from me to stop them. But there are new rules.

We only wear diapers at night time and going out. This is because, while they feel oppressed by my potty training desires, I feel financially oppressed by the cost of their diapers.

Those of you who can put simple concepts together understands what this means.

Boys with lack of eww factor, training underpants and big boy pants, no absorbent diapers = messes on floor and lots of laundering underpants.


But I have discovered I am content to follow my boys around with a bottle of Resolve and a sponge while they get used to this strange new world of underwear. I figure, at some point, they will get tired of feeling wet, or peeing on their legs and toes, or grow weary of that chafing feel of poop on cotton... and then, then, they will say MAMA MAMA I GOTTA PEE IN THE POTTY.

Until then, there are towels and old blankets on the couch cushions and Resolve is an arms reach away, and I can say 'I'm potty training them' without actually suffering the angst and torment involved in potty training resistant boys....


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Lahdeedah, I sense a note of desperation between your lines as you try to train them.

Anonymous said...

Ask if their aunt and uncle would like to "see" them for the weekend and then pass them off. They might come back fully trained.


MommasWorld said...

Have you told them to clean up the messes? I know they are only 3 but they can use a paper towel and help pick up poopy messes. If they have to clean it they might be less inclined to make the mess. I know it is easy for us to say try this and try that when it isn’t happening to us. I use this method for cleaning up messes in our house. “Hey, if you didn’t make such a big mess it wouldn’t take so long to clean it up.” Or “Next time you will use tinfoil like I suggested. Then, maybe you wont spend half an hour scrubbing the cookie sheet.” I sound like a meanie don’t I. he.he.he.