My daughter is ten.
Occasionally, we have random drug talks. Along with random alcohol talks, random cigarette talks, and some skirting about the sex talks.
Today was random drugs.
Today's discussion included prescription drugs, her friend's prescription drugs, her friends ADD drugs and the sad sad truth that if her friends started doing drugs, she'd have to say no, and would more than likely lose them as a friend, but it was far more important to be true to yourself, then make the wrong choices your friends make.
I also explained that, no, it is not possible to be friends with your friends if they do drugs, because they would hang out with other kids who do drugs, and when you got together, that would pretty much be what was going on. I mean lets give our kids credit, if we teach them they can say no, then they can. At the same time, lets understand the pre-teen and teen mentality... do as others around you do. This doesn't mean they aren't capable of individuality, but the reality is, they are far more prone to try to be like the kids around them. If you are constantly hanging around kids that do drugs, eventually, you're not going to see the point in saying no.
Also included in this little random chat that she started, was the issue of adults giving their teenage kids and friends alcohol. This is where my rant starts.
I do not believe it is ever okay for an adult to provide alcohol to a kid's friends. I do not want my daughter drinking underage. Will she? Possibly. Will I laugh it off? No, I would have a very serious discussion with her about it. If I sent my child over to a party, where there was parental supervision, to me, parental supervision means there will be no alcohol served. Another parent does not have the right to break the law and provide my child with alcohol. If said parent does that, said parent deserves to be in court. I just don't approve of parents making the decision to serve alcohol to another parent's child, because they think hell, the kids will do it anyway.
Which brings me to 'kids will do it anyway, might as well do it where we can control it.'
Well that's a good attitude. First, your kids 'may not' do 'whatever' anyway, if you as a parent have open discussions and talks. They may actually say 'no thanks.' Second, if your child did do it anyway, doesn't necessarily mean you have to condone it. You could, oh, say, parent your child. You could impart consequences to this action. I.e. you go out and get drunk, you then get grounded., along with a nice nifty lecture on the dangers of drinking at such a young age.
I am not against drinking, just irresponsible drinking, and lets face it, teenagers who drink do not drink responsibly.
My daughter will be confronted with the issue of drugs, drinking, smoking and sex, throughout the course of her teen years. I am teaching her to say no. I am talking to her about how dangerous it is and why. On all four issues. Does this mean she will never drink, smoke, take a drug or have sex? Hopefully, she will say no. But if she does, I, as a parent, will not just shrug my shoulders and say ah well, she's a kid, they all do it. I will address the issue, talk to her about it, explain the consequences and if it's drugs, there will be parental consequences, if it's drinking, the same, if it's sex, yeah, that's a tricky one, but there'd be a consequence, but more of a very serious talk about sex and partners and all that, that one is tricky. Hopefully, she won't get there until she's mature enough to handle it.
I will never, however, help kids drink or smoke or any of that, just because 'they would do it anyway.'