Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hummer returns manhood

Yes, it does. Because I saw it on tv. Now I know Hummer is targeting urban soft metrosexuals and their overly kind, sweet and gentle housewives. How do I know this? The second ad makes it all clear...

Grocery store line.
Metro Man is putting vegetables, fresh herbs, and a big honkin' slab of 'TOFU" on the conveyer belt.
He looks at the man next to him, who has just put racks and racks and slabs of meat down.
Realizing how emasculated he's become, what does he do?
Get steak? Laugh and say his wife's addicted to Tofu and he has been eating Outback curbside take-away for months? No no no. Better.
He grabs his bags, loads the car, and drives to the dealership.
Restore your manhood.
Or was it, regain your lost manhood?
Whatever. It was something like that.

So now I get it.

The nice woman at the park, she needed a hummer, cuz she's not mean enough. She lost her 'meanness' and in the dog eat dog world of playground politics, that's a serious weakness. It's amazing she's not been beat up by now.

The metro tofu man, totally needs a hummer. He's eating healthy, omigosh, and probably has great cholesterol levels. No man has great cholesterol levels! Only womenly-men, effeminate men, new age unisex men, the metros, have great cholesterol levels. He needs a hummer to let the world know he's a man.

Except the hummer being advertised is like, Hummer Lite because of the gas mileage issue. Nobody is buying big right now.

Ah well, I suppose we could all occasionally use a hummer.

Though try finding a parking spot in the damn thing.

2 comments:

MommaK said...

I'm not usually PC and I don't even like Hummers. They're just not sexy at all!

Lahdeedah said...

I just think they are obnoxious. If any vehicle ever had a complex, it's the hummer.