Saturday, May 06, 2006

WOHM vs. SAHM

I've been reading this silly blog which I won't post to save everyone a week of misery before finally pulling the plug. Essentially, it contains the angriest WOHMs and SAHM's you could find. Now, there are a few sane ones, but they get lost in the pity-party battle, because this is what the blog is, a fight to earn the right for more pity. It's a giant, festive pity party of angry, bitter crybabies who would like some violin music to play to their cries of 'I matter more.' The thing that makes it hard is that both sides are holding their pity party on the same blog, so there's a lot of hostility. Now, keep in mind, most of these WOHM's make a lot of money. Not all of them admit it, but lets face it, the only people who have time to hang out on a blog during the workday are people who make decent money. Everyone else is too busy working. Let me sum up the entire argument by listing here what the actual argument is, and what these women REALLY mean when they say what they say.

WOHM's - we are more valuable as women because we have an education and jobs and maintain self-identity. We aren't hostages to babies and husbands and are too important to worry about diapers, home-made play-doh and helping out with the PTA by pouring punch during kindergarten parties. If we can show up, we will and it means we are great moms and if we don't it's because work is too pressing, and we're still great moms, just great moms with an important job.

SAHM's - we are more valuable as women because we have an education, we even mostly had jobs, but we chose to leave the workforce to care for society's most important commodity, it's future. If we go to work and farm our children out to daycare's and nannies and relatives, what are we doing but giving them inferior care and we all know how important early education is to children. We do this because by doing this, our children, and not the children of WOHM's, will grow up to do great things, and they will be so thankful to us they will fund our retirement, since by not working we can't actually invest in our own 401Ks.

WOHM's - you stay home and smother your children while you eat chocolate, watch Oprah and hang out with other mom's.

SAHM's - you hang out in the office all day, buy fancy clothes, and outsource raising your children so you can attend office functions and eat out for lunch everyday talking about how hard it is to work and then come home and deal with cranky children who haven't eaten, AND you TiVo Oprah. Then you talk a tough game to all the guys saying 'I am working woman hear me roar' while at the same time you are secretly worrying because your kid is home alone for the firt time with a new babysitter while you are out ensuring your professional future. Then you confide in your working girlfriends how hard it is to advance in your career because half the office found out about your children and now think of you as a working mom and not a career person.

WOHM's - you go take your precious little excuses for not working to the mall in cute little strollers and browse all day with your Starbucks mocha. Then it's off to the park on a sunny day where you just gossip about your husband's jobs and all the women they work with. THen you come home and throw some hamburger helper on the stove and call your day hard and as your hsuband to take the kids because oh wahh, Timmy had a Tantrum.

SAHM's - jealous.

WOHM's - insignificant.

SAHD's - what about us?

SAHM's/WOHM's - you so don't count, you think it's a vacation, whatever, go get a job. Oh but wait, your wife has the job. Why don't you go buy her flowers, with the money she earns, and thank her for giving you the opportunity to stay home and louse around you lazy git.

WOHD's - what about us?

SAHM's/WOHM's - you are men, your place is in the workforce, shut up and suck it up and bring home the money, and then when you get home, do the freakin' laundry, too, just because you work doesn't mean you should get out of household and kid duties.

Single, Childless/married, childess - what about us?

SAHM's/SAHD's/WOHM's/WOHD's - quit your bitchin' and get back to work. Your money is all yours, you have no bills, and your last vacation was to the Bahamas. Nobody cares about your sob story.

SAHM's - can't believe these people. Oh we don't have kids, but we deserve rights.

WOHM's - yeah like anyone ever cared about us when we didn't have kids.

WOHD's - they all think they'll never get married and have kids, idiots.

SAHD's - I love watching a 9-lb ball of life smacking them right in the face. Oh then all of a sudden it's 'I don't know I"m so torn I want to be a good parent but these hours...

WOHM's - then they come running to us 'how do you do it' have you seen our homes? we don't.

SAHM's - then they say to us 'how do you do it' and we say have you seen the car we drive?

SAHM's/SAHD's/WOHM's/WOHD's - whiners. lets have a barbecue. We'll let the kids run around naked in the kiddie pool while we drown in margueritaville. Open invitation to those bringing kids.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great post - you missed a category - those of who run businesses with our husbands, who alternate childcare with hubby. No nanny, but go do all SAHM stuff during the day sometimes and hang with WOHM at the evening events. What do you call us? We are the boss, not at back and call of boss like WOHM; but also have a job with outside responsibilities, unlike SAHM. Can relate to NOONE.

Tori said...

Well, being a SAHM, I can say that 1) I hate Oprah
2) Even if I LOVED Oprah, I couldn't watch it because I have a baby to watch.

Making a home really is a full time job. I was married and in the military when I was 19, so I KNOW what it's like to be married and working. I love the fact that I stay home now, but because of my personality sometimes I get bummed and wish I could bring in some income. However, my husband is very supportive, and lets me know that my job is a big one, even though for some reason the word "Homemaker" has become synonymous with several negative connotations. I enjoy making sure my family has a "HOME" to come home to, not just a "HOUSE" or a "habitat." In my opinion, I think it is irresponsible to bring another human being into this world and expect someone else to take care of them. Why have kids if you aren't going to take responsibility for them? I never have been able to understand that, and mad as some working "moms" get when I ask that, none of them can ever give me an answer that doesn't paint them as selfish. Working out of necessity is one thing, but to bring a child into the world, then dump them off on other people to climb to the top of the corporate ladder is, in my opinion, selfish. Don't have kids. That's why I got out of the military. I loved it, but I love my family more.

Anonymous said...

I'd say, no one should be judging anyone's position in the first place. But if you're going to judge, to have a good argument you need to have been in the position yourself. Unless you've been a SAHM, you have no right to judge any SAHM, because you have no clue what it's like. Same with any other position. This post just made me chuckle because it's so silly.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! I loved reading it. Moral of the story: We're all just trying to do our best and get by. Let's support each other, not beat each other down. Different strokes for different folks!