Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tale 1

The Lawn Mowing Gnome


Yes, my neighbors, GASP, mowed my lawn.

Did a very nice job, too.

The thing is, they do it stealthily. Not while I'm home. Noooo, they wait in the dark corner of their garage, til I leave, and then, when nobody is out and about to see them (actually, while everyone is about to see them except for me, moi, and el husbando) they come and MOW and then, get this, EDGE, too.

The nerve.

Anyhow, I came home today from gymnastics practice, to find a freshly shorn lawn.

I was late for a dental appointment (two more and then I'm ready for the orthopedic torture) so sent McRed to the neighbors to ask if they've seen the lawn-mowing gnome, or were they in fact, to thank. Of course, I sent him to the wrong neighbor. Hey, I had a 50/50 chance, but secretly I thought it was the reticent neighbor not the outgoing wavey one. I was right. It's always the quiet ones. But I sent him to the ones that were outside.

So see, I DO have the most confusing neighbors in the world. Won't talk to me, but hell, they'll mow and edge my lawn and kill my weeds! (yes, he's also been sharing his death-ray weed spray on my portion of the mulched pathway, that stuff is like, arsenic to weeds) I don't get his wife. I can't figure out if she hates me or just is annoyed at me or is just confused by me herself or really could care less either way. Or maybe they think I don't talk enough to them. I don't know. Someone really needs to send me the 'Easterner's guide to Northwesterner folk' and fast. McRed yesterday told our neighbor he'd help him work on our joint fence this next weekend, so he doesn't think we're total slackers. The fact we were actually mowing our lawn for half the season probably helped.

ANYHOW, it turns out he feels bad cuz our mower is broke. My husband said we had no oil... um, yes we do, our neighbor is right, it is broke. Every time I start the mower, it makes an explosion-ey noise and smokes. The thing is, this is the last 'mow' of the year. It's September. It's going to rain and be yicky soon (Yay except when I'm driving bleah).

So now what to do? Cookies? A pie? What can I do to that my neighbor would like? Buy him a lawn gnome bearing a basket of Canadian springwater? Ideas anyone?

I'm thinking chocolate chip cookies, mixed with oatmeal raisin cookies, in case of chocolate allergies, left in a pretty basket on their doorstep during the dark hours... seriously/ Ideas?

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