Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Wicked Witch

The Wicked Witch is going going going...... sooon to be gooonnee... YAY

That's right folks,

The mean mom neighbor and her mean bully daughter with their nice but reserved and confusing lawn-mowing gnome husband and the normal son....


put their house up for sale!

We will actually miss the nice, reserved but confusing lawn-mowing gnome husband for obvious reasons but the meanness of the women in that family render his niceness almost obsolete. His son is cute, but not allowed to play with my boys... they have cooties, you see...

Now, I did not gape. I really tried not to. Okay, I may have walked up and down the lenght of my front yard auspiciously checking out the rose bushe and Japanese Maple growth, but that was all. My daughter might have gaped openly, but she's only ten. The point is, there was a sign out on their lawn that is clearly a real estate sign. I was good. I did not gleefully flit over there smiling and yelping, "So, You're moving? Really? GREAT."

No. I did not.

Instead, hubby and I speculated.

Top Ten Reasons Mean Mom Neighbor is packing up her Mean Bully Kid and husbando con el toddlero:

10. She doesn't want her daughter associating with my daughter, the bad influence.

9. She doesn't want her son to have to go to school with my sons, who are close in age, and no. 10.

8. The neighborhood's going to hell because there are too many renters and our HoA refuses to change the ten-percent rental rate (apparently, the downfall of the nation are the renters secretly residing in neighborhoods willfully lowering house values with their transient non-lawn-mowing, non-HoA-joining commie ways)

7. She thinks we are renters because we don't mow our lawns, and it's bad enough there are renters in the neighborhood, but to live next to one...

6. All the other mom's in the neighborhood told Mean Bully Girl they can't play with their children (I'm not the only one who banned the little brat, and the third one that expressed how rotten she was, but unlike the other moms, I blame the parentel figures)

5. She suddenly realized she's superior to all the rest of us middle-class, non-pretentious folk living in a merely decent neighborhood, doing their own lawns and house cleaning, and high-tailed it to a neighborhood where someone else will do her landscaping and cleaning, and she'll have 2,000 sq more feet to preside over, all reign her suburban majesty.

4. Our neighborhood park doesn't have swings, but does have brown, dying grass, mowed of course.

3. It's a facade, she's a renter and her landlord is selling the house. They are moving to a manufactured home in the country.

2. Her children have been discovered for the child prodigy's they are, and they are moving to Boston and enrolling their children in Harvard.

1. Her husband found another job somewhere else, far far away, in another school district ties with Mean Mom studied the housing market, and feared that if she was ever going to get her suburban paradise, she had to sell modest suburbia now.

Yes 1. is dull, but the most realistic.

And yes, this is a TOTALLY catty mean blog about our neighbor, but I am honestly glad she's going. There is just this atmosphere around her, that brings you down. She's gossipy and mean spirited and judgemental and has made it hard for my kid to go out and play cuz of her mean kid. How can I be sad to see her go?

She's another person who deserves to be loved too, and I'm sure she's nice to some people, and if she was nicer to me, and more importantly fair to my kid, I'd probably be nicer about her. But seeing as she wasn't, and seeing as this is my blog, /mean on.

1 comment:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

What a collection! Your ex-neighbour is a right one!