Thursday, June 22, 2006

Sooo a typical mom

You know, this day pretty much didn't help me in my conviction that there is more to being a stay at home mom than being, well, mom.

Seriously. You think, no no you're not just a mom, you're you too...unique, clever, smart, funny, not-marked-by-your-offspring you, so let me tell you my day. Those of you who know me, would probably not expect this day to have actually ocurred to me. All will admit though, that no matter what you might think, or say, the truth is, yes, even quirky, doesn't-think-right me, is just... a mom.

Morning: wake up, go to gym, work out and inform Sir Buffalot that no, I'm not getting my ass out of bed before 7 a.m. this summer, and if I manage to get down to a size 8 this summer on his workout will sign up again in the fall (though I did not mention the latter part, as he would then mention that it would be nice if I actually did cardio). Okay that is where 'me' ends. You'll see.

Get home with my vanilla latte grande and a mocha for the man who slept in because I came home late. (Okay, that is sooo me)

Me over.

Make kids 100 waffles each.
Make daughter make her own 20 waffles.
Settle kids in front of Blues Clues and take hasty shower.
Forgot to destubbilize legs.
Turn water on.
Destubbilize legs.
Run frantically around looking for semi-clean clothes for said kids.
End up settling for not-really-too-bad looking.
Run frantically around looking for four sandals.
End up finding three.
It's summer. Who needs shoes?
Get self dressed, gobbilize new hair cut into some semblance of a style.
Get children dressed.
Flee out door to Safeway to pick up last minute 'pot luck lunch contribution' (trail mix and a veggie platter.)
Go to house infested with other moms, toddlers and babies.
Listen to speel from King County's Waste Management Program representative.
Can't help noticing said representive was young, skinny, cute, and sporting really cool, flattering, black bootcut slim-fit trousers that I couldn't justify buying due to having nowhere to wear them.
Learned all about how all the cleaners in my house can kill us all...
Learned how to avoid the cleaners that can kill us all... and stick to ones that will only moderately impair health, as well as cleaners that are completely safe, and can be used as a side-dish at supper if really desperate.
Got a free 'green' cleaning kit with recipes for home-made cleaners, and an honest-to-goodness 'bucket' to add to my 'cleaning kit.' This would be the first 'kit' for cleaning I've ever owned.
(I really can't wait to try the volcanic drain cleaning recipe -- fun for the whole family)
Chatted with mom's that really feel I'm from a different dimension. Small talk is hard for me. I haven't jived yet.
Finally left. Not jiving gets annoying after a bit.
(I mean, come on, I'm the ONLY person that thought clear liquid in an unlabeled bottle that isn't water would be vodka?)
Drove to store. Picked up meat for dinner, (note to self, marinate meat after blogging)
nice shoes for boys, crappy disposable flip-flops for boys so next time they lose shoes won't look like bad red-neckin' mother, soy vanilla milk for Bear's new addiction (honestly, how was I supposed to know he'd like it THAT much?) and smoothies for all of us since no one really ate a full lunch.
Ran home, had Drama put all perishables in fridge while left kids in truck while calling insurance company while patrolling driveway (same one as parked truck with kids) to finally clear up some insurance thing.
Got Drama and self back in truck, drove to boys' speech (don't really need it) therapy.
Came home. Made Coffee. Dealt with Drama's meltdown after having loud reaction to initial meltdown (it's a freakin' GAMEBOY, I can't win em either).
Called friend in panic mode. Thanks friend. All of us involved are doing better.
No it was nothing to really panic about, but some of us were freaked for a brief moment.
Okay, me.
Finally drank coffee.
Realized entire day was totally suburban, totally mom, and totally dull.
Blogged about it to feel better.


See? I'm just a typical mom. One of a gazillion. This was just a typical mom day, one that went well, as opposed to the ones that normally involve laundry, weed attacks, toddler fights, wall art and weight gain. Though, at least my household will smell all non-toxic, lemon and vinegary clean from now on.

Now, I'm off to marinate the meat, make dinner for all, have a beer, light, 64 calories, thank you, greet hubby with a kiss when he comes home, maybe even put on some twirly skirt and pearls, and bs my way through homework.

p.s. Slug bait will kill your dog.

p.p.s. Products labeled 'danger' and 'poison' will kill kill kill you all. Don't use them. Look for products labeled 'caution' and 'warning' as they will only impair your health. Better yet, go totally like, green dude. The labels are required by law and have specific meaning. So everything labeled danger and poison really are dangerous, poisonous and will kill kill kill...

p.p.p.s. Wet swiffer jets spray stuff for floors will make dogs really sick. Toddlers and kids who eat off floors sick, too.

p.p.p.p.s. anyone interested in my recipes, let me know and i'll be happy to post em.

1 comment:

RainyPM said...

I want you to do a post with more specifics on what you learned at your poison awareness class, if you get time.