Sunday, April 16, 2006

Why the Easter Bunny Failed

I failed in my duties as Easter Bunny, my husband woefully so. It was not meant to go down like this. We had a plan. We did some eggs. My daughter was going to decorate some more, I with her. Then we were going to hide the candy in plastic eggs and let the kids find them after they ooh'd and aahh'd over their modest easter baskets. This did not happen.

So what did happen?

All day Saturday the children destroyed the living room and kitchen while I did my marketing plan *which I must finish tonight* and my husband watched them. They went to bed a little later, and we ordered pizza, which got here around nine, and we started watching the original campy Ten Commandments with my daughter, who was dying eggs on commercials. I didn't do the kitchen, and I totally got sucked into the ten commandments while sitting at my computer avoiding my marketing paper. How did I do this? By doing this instead
Yes, all 300+ comics. I started at 81, and just went...

I was so exhausted from five hours of marketing planning that I didn't have the energy to stop myself... no will power... So at midnight, when I realize a) the Ten Commandments is never going to end, b) my daughter is up, and c) we've done no easter bunny work, I got up and started the basket-putting-together thing while shoo'ing my daughter off to bed assuring her the Ten Commandments ends pretty much like the cartoon Prince of Egypt, and that the latter is actually more dramatic. When, CRAP, Toddler B wakes up. Greeat.

I go get him to save Toddler A from being roused only to discover Toddler A was right behind me. I put them in my bed, they started falling asleep, and I went back to easter basket mode. For about ten minutes, untl they realized there was nothing stopping them from actually getting up and playing... which they did. At 12:30 at night. Toddler B left while Toddler A stayed cozy under the covers. He took all the grass out of the easter basket and wanted to color. Finally, I give up and do the easter baskets with Toddler B in tow. He may never fully believe in the easter bunny now, because of this memory of mommy filling baskets, but he only has himself to blame. We then watched Moses part the red sea, and I got a motivational "TA DA" from Toddler B.

Toddler A came out when the baskets were done and after Moses parted the sea, so his childhood is still intact. I forsee many philosophical brawls around the issue of the existence of childhood mythical figures between the two, and I will have to protect Toddler A's childhood by denying the truth to Toddler B, lying outright to his bubbly, chubbly, red-faced cries of 'But mom I SAW you' further damaging his childhood, but really, Toddler B only has himself to blame.

Anyhow, finally husband comes upstairs and realizes that omigosh, the boys are up. He takes A, I take B, and it's clear at this point, 12:45 a.m., they are coming to bed with us.

It then becomes clear around 1:30 a.m. they are sooo going back to their own beds. They managed to have a fight over their stuffed animal, steal most of the pillows, and fail to actually go to sleep. They stayed up playing til about 2:30 a.m. Maybe later, I dont' know. I fell asleep to the sound of the 'Farmer in the Dell' toy.

This means, of course, I was too exhausted to get up early enough to fill and hide the eggs, and remember that the easter bunny also brought them a nice Little People woodsman set, complete with friendly dragon, archer, and working catapult.

So at least I put the baskets on the coffee table. At least they got their chocolate, my dd got her cute watch, and my husband eventually got coffee and they eventually got the woodsman set. Husband helped clean the kitchen of his own free will. *He said he can't grill happily when the kitchen is messy, something I must remember... and tonight we are celebrating easter with a meal of grilled steak and beer.... I know I know, it wouldn't kill us to break tradition every now and again...

Happy Easter

Next year, we may outsource the bunny.

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