Friday, April 28, 2006

Air conditioning

Whoever, or whomever, said that the northwest had cool summers came from the south, southwest, or the equator.

Last year, I spent many a miserable month being hot and stuffy, seeking refuge in the coolness of the basement, which is only half a basement since we live in a split-level, and it has windows, but it's about 15 degrees cooler than the upstairs, which draws in and retains heat like crazy.

It's not even May, and already, we've got warm weather sans breezes, and already, the house is HOT inside.

For the first time ever, I am eagerly awaiting a call from a sales rep... free in-home estimate on sears air conditioning. We are definitely doing central air. I am going to schedule it as soon as they can, like that day if possible... I need my air... /swelter... i'm melting.....

What I don't understand is why the majority of homes out here don't have central air as it is! I mean, these homes are less than ten years old, does this mean that ten years ago, the climate was actually cool... or maybe I'm just spoiled from the East Coast, where despite our short summers, we all have central air. Maybe it's the contrast, we adapted to the cold so well that the heat and humidity kill us. If there's global warming, and I don't have central air, I doubt I'll survive....

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Name this plant, flora, fauna, live growing thingie...

But first...

Before we get on to the naming, I'm just going to admit, I have a gardening problem... a REAL problem...

I went to the store today to get McRed some stuff and some ellidel for Bear's excema *he's got alligator skin that no longer responds to vaseline and eucerin* and rice noodle for my yummy vietnamese chicken noodle soup, also spelled Pho but called Fuh. Okay, not sure on the spelling but still, not the point...

I ended up getting 16 gladiola bulbs, bean seeds, morning glory seeds, sunflower seeds, and two packets of lily tubers... and you're thinking so what?

Well of course you are, because what you don't know *though Gravy and Poker do know, and they soooo understand...* is that I have just ordered through online nurseries two shade gardens consisting of a total of about 40 plants *but i'm sure I can plant about 35 of those easily... a butterfly and cutting garden, a blue perennial garden, a red perennial garden, a dwarf blueberry container plant, a terra-cotta strawberry plant jar and 25 strawberry plants *because the 14 I already have aren't enough* and I may have actually ordered the Goatsbeard, but I'm not sure, I can't remember.

On top of that, it is taking all of my will to not order a dwarf lime tree, and it's not so much a question of conquering the desire as of when I will finally cave Now, add to that the sunflower seeds I already have, and the fact that now I'm doing a sunflower house and a bean tee-pee, I am pretty much um, I am out of room. I have some containers that will be used for the excess plants, and to be honest, I may be sending some plants home with Looney and Uncle in June, because I may not have room... it makes me sad.... sometimes, I look at the small patch of lawn in back, that one square bit of green toddler-turf, and think... naaahhh...

But I swear, I am sooo done buying plants for this season. I won't even look okay well I won't even buy bulbs until at LEAST July....

Okay, now on to the plants, but just so you know, I didn't bother taking pictures of the spice garden on my deck, because it's just like, boxes of mint, rosemary, thyme, cilantro mmm, oregano and sage.

Now, this first plant, I know and like :) It's the delphinium giant or tall or whatever. I'm not sure of the spelling, but isn't it just cool looking?

Here are a select few of the plants I can't refer to by their common family, never mind their common name and forget the botanical family, species or exact reference. Please help me name them! And by name them, I mean by their actual name, this isn't a naming game where we make up names for plants just cuz...

Now this first one, I've seen downtown and at first I didn't like it, but it's growing on me. If only I knew what they were.... and for that pretty pink blooming bush, Japanese Azaela. Thank you Cratchet for that. It does well in this climate, and maintains a nice shade of green most of the year.

Okay now, on the right, in front of the weeds, which I will pull now that I can see they are glaringly noticeable... that's the blurp of heather I planted... next to it... anyone, anyone? Oooh but check out the black night tulips behind them...

These two green things on the left I refer to as hostas only because they are green, perennial, and I have no idea what they are. And that funky plant in between? It's got a very shallow root, and is easy to pull up, but what is it? I think it's ground cover of some sort. I don't think it's a weed, because weeds are sooo resistant, but I don't think its pretty. I know a lot of gardeners use plant as ground cover, but I need one that I like. Now, baby's breath is nice, but I think that's an annual. Really, I can just look it up, but I think it is an annual.

Here we have my 'problem' plants. Not the blue flowering ones, they are pretty. No, it's the ferny ones that end up growing really tall and being thistley. I remember them from last year, oh oh right now, they are all nice and green and comfy looking, but just wait til summer... they scare me. I am scarred from the memory of all the thistle-things I got stuck on my clothes, gardening gloves, limbs etc etc etc.

Now this is the image I tried for... what is this plant? It's nice, and I want another one, but I have no idea what it's called.
Okay, I like it. Now what is it?

This is my sad lavender here on the right. Lavender thrives in this area, but I have neglected this lavender, in part because it gives me a headache, in part because it was such a pain for me last year to manage. Now, I'm annoyed at myself, because lavender is pretty, and now I have to trim it, water it, give it some fertilizer maybe, and hope it thrives... Looney wants lavender, and I pulled out some from the roots and potted it, so hopefully in June, when she visits, I'll have some for her and Uncle.

Is this an aster? But not a dwarf one? I mean what is it? It grows like crazy in my backyard, and I have a whole corner full of them. They multiply and are perennials. Any idea what they are called? I like them, but I need to get rid of a couple. I'm going to try one as a container plant and see how it does, because they are striking. However, there is something about them, the way they look right before they blossom, it's like, they are an aggressive plant that wishes it could eat you... they are kind of creepy scary looking in a pretty way. Angry purple people eaters!!! THEY DO EXIST.... and they are in my backyard....


Just warning you about the topic change... no need to be alarmed

This is an image of Drama's room a mere three weeks after I labored all day with her cleaning it, bought her pretty purple bins and a new basket and all sorts of organizational cutie tween things *which you can't see under the disaster* and this is what happens... it's not like I haven't been telling her to clean her room, I have, and I would go in, and it would look passable, it turns out, passable was 'under the bed' and she moved the bed and now... I've already thrown out two and a half bags of extranneous 'stuff' I guess you'd call it... so now, I'm thinking maybe it's the clothes? ARGH... suggestions? Aside from the old torch and start over tactic? I'm saving that for a last resort.

The Garden Plan :) with pics

Gardening gardening gardening

The second photo is of a hedge that harbored a hive of yellow jackets. They are dead now, but these flowers that bloomed in March are still alive. We won't do anything with this section at all. The hedge behind it, McRed hates. He thinks it's deliberately sending out tendrils toward the driveway with the desire to scratch his perty little Beemer... whatever. I chopped it a bit for him. I'm not fond of it, but I don't hate it enough to change it. It's last on my list :) The photo on top shows how much SUN I get muahaha... there was a better pic, but Bear was in it, and McRed has a 'no family pics' policy. So anyhow, the tulips in bloom are black night tulips, you can't see them, because I shot into the sun... I just thought black tulips were cool. Soon, I will replace the tulips with one of the other bulbs I have. I have plenty, believe me, I have PLENTY... the other box didn't fare so well, I like to think the tulip-stealing squirrels are to blame... but hey, not everything can be a victory... Now those hydrangeas, *i think they are that* I don't like the bloom colors. I'm not big into the pale shades of nature, but it's thriving, and again, too much to do. That's second or third to the end of my list of garden things to do.

This image here has the red rhododendrum *I think that's what it is, ha ha some gardener huh?* I like the bloom colors. Between that is some small plant that is neat and almost flowering, and some heather I planted. I don't think you can see either, both are really small. In front of the brick is a yellow flowering plant. I like it. If you know what it's called, please let me know!

Now this picture here on the right... okay there's the hydrangea bush, behind it is the rhododendrums, now look at the umbrella looking tree... again, if you know what is is POST and let me know! behind it is empty space and the fence. That empty space holding the garden hose? That will be my first shade garden, hostas, astibes and lilies galore! When it's done being planted, I'll post the pics... I'm waiting for it to arrive in the mail. Okay, see that pink flowering bush? It's bright, I like it, I adore it, when it isn't flowering, it's a nice green foliage plant. McRed whined about it, but he gets his decorating way in the house. The garden and yard are mine mine ALL MINE. Again, if you know what it's called....

Okay this other picture on the right has the brick thing that I actually like and am secretly glad is on my property/ In front of it is the yelow flowering plant, no idea what it's called, some heather that looks faded, well it looks faded because it's winter-flowering, so it's okay. I did plant summer-flowering heather in front of it, that teeeennieeee little yellow blurp... I'm going to cut back the summer-flowering heather so it can thrive. In front of that are some cute low-ground plants that flower, right on the edge of the sidewalk, okay I LOVE those, they are so nice, the foliage is great and the flowers are soooo bright. Please someone tell me what they are so I can buy more!!!!! I transplanted the one on the far left because it was dying in its previous location. Now, the thorns with nothing? Okay I may have killed it, at least for this season. I didn't cut it back this winter, and it just stretched its thorny tendrils everywhere. It was a hazard to us all! And covered the other plants. Thorny rosebushes... I have faith that it will come back... .... heh... maybe...

Ahh, the terrace, this is the best part of the garden. The former ownders did a great job here. Again, feel free to identify plants... and yes, I know about the tulips... now, there is one big blob of heather missing, between the terra cotta pot of grass I transplanted *may not make it* and the red flowering plant. I planted a replacement heather, but that died. Admittedly, I waited too long to transplant it, so I have to put my other summer flowering heather there. It doesn't match the color scheme, but oops... p.s. the weeds in front will be removed... Now, I want you to look reallllyyy closely for the Delphinium (sp may be off) it's a purplish flower on a tall green stalk but is really hard to pick out in the photo. I'm proud of it, well, mainly because it and its companion on the other side are a nice addition to the terrace, and the only actual thing I planted here. It's on the lower part, in front of the terra cotta pot.

Okay here on the right is the other half of the terrace... ignore the weeds and the crazy strawberry plants... those strawberries just love my yard... okay see if you can find the other Dephinium.. now, the potted plants hold weird plants that are really really cool looking, they are called succulents. They are fun. I'll take close-ups of my faves this weekend and post. Again, tulips yay... and another rhododendrum bush thingie in the back... please ignore the chive/funky ground-covered infested rose bed. I'm going to win the battle with chives, and plant some Iris bulbs this fall. this season, the roses and chives will welcome marigolds.

This here on the left is my greatest achievement this spring. I cleared out one of the garden beds, specifically, the one behind the thriving mint plant, and turned it into a strawberry bed. Now, Drama helped me with this, working right alongside me collecting the compost from the compost bins, mixing it in the soil, composting the old plants that infested the bed and getting rid of the weeds and awful grass that somehow started growing there. I read that for strawberris, straw is the best thing... well, lo and behold, I had TONS of dead grass in the back where one of the ornamental grasses started dying at the top. There are about 8-9 strawberry plants there. We're going to mulch around the beds to get rid of the weeds. Now, behind that bed is a messy bed with some funky green plants that are thriving. We're going to clear that one out this weekend and Drama and I will plant tomatoes, peppers, onions and marigolds. We will leave room for the basil which has to be planted later in May. The nicer green plants I will transplant to a container. I think there are two I want to keep. Now, behind THAT one is another garden bed. This will be cleared out but not touched til later in May, because it is going to be the home for our SUNFLOWER HOUSE... I'm so excited. I bought sunflowers, morning glory and climbing beans. We're going to make a sunflower house with morning glories as the walls. Isnt' that great? The kids will LOVE this. Drama will help me plant it. It should be understood that Bear and Turbo are helping too, but they help mainly by dumping out freshly-potted plants and digging in the soil. Now, I am torn about the beans. They can make up part of the walls, or I could do a bean tee-pee. How cool is that? A sunflower house AND bean tee-pee? *It should also be noted that McRed thinks I'm nuts when it comes to the garden... So MANY plans, so little space!

Here on the right I'd like you to meet Jake and Sam. Jake and Sam are two artichokes that have been given this bit of space all to themselves in the hopes they will be fruitful and happy together, or is that vegetableful? I have never tried growing artichokes, but I really really like them, from the way they look to the way they taste. These two plants are the only ones that have earned the right to actually have names. Some other plants may also earn that honor, but so far, it's just these tw. Oh, Jake is on the right, Sam on the left. The area in front is getting mulched soon, and the weeds will be gone. I just want to get some of the plants in the ground though, because it's that time. Plus, it's more fun.

I don't know what any of these things are. Somebody, PLEASE POST AND LET ME KNOW! There are the blue flowers, the green fern things that end up growing really tall and thistley, but not quite thorny, with flowers at the top, and then the green fluffy ones with white flowers... I'm leaving them here this year, because they don't look bad at all, really, and make it hard for the weeds to grow, or at least, for people to see the weeds ha ha ha ha.... there is garlic there, as well, that should be ready to harvest in a month or two, I'm waiting for the leaves to yellow. I planted them last fall. Roses like garlic, you see, and garlic doesn't stage a hostile incursion into neighboring lands the way chives do. Next year I may change this bit because the thistley stuff really gets into your clothes and skin, but we'll see. Of course, it may help if I knew what these things were called!

Okay, here's the green fluffy stuff I was talking about with the white flowers. Of course, I was trying to actually get the plant next to it, you can see the red flowers sort of hanging off... I want to know what that plant is called. I do like it. Is it ladysomethingorother? I don't know, but it's pretty....

Here's the last photo. This is the TREE IN THE CORNER.... oooh... okay whatever. There are ferns in the back, which we will keep, minus the dead part. You can see the foliage from the bluebells I planted coming up, they should bloom this summer... I LOVE BLUEBELLS. also, there is some green ground cover coming in that carpets the area nicely. I don't know what the other tall green funky things are. Some of this stuff will get booted when I add some of the other shade plants I ordered back there. I may replace the half dead ferns with some of the other ones, and I'm not sure I like the funky leafy things on the right. Now, these are just the major areas of the garden. There are some more parts of the yard along the fence wall that I didn't take photos of yet. I will do that this weekend and explain my plans for it. Consider these before pics *except for the perty strawberry bed :) ...

So that is my before area, with some of my plans, for those who were wondering *okay Gravy, but hey...*

I will add more before photos and the after photos as I do the area, and then the 'in bloom photos' so you can all see :)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ahh the rug

The floor is being done this weekend.

It's officially been scheduled... but this time it's actually really official. McRed has bought the sawhorse, jigsaw, nail gun *because he thinks they are cool, not because we needed one* spacers, knee pads, eye-protection and face-protection....?er? and clamps. I think he's expecting our floor to resist... face protection? We will get rid of this horrid turquoise stain-infested, icky-gross decade-old carpet and put in nice, new, modern, kid, cat and mom resistant laminate flooring that looks like wood but is cheaper and easier to take care of. Go Ikea. I'm going to help him.... by shopping.

That's right, I'm doing the best thing I can to help him finish the floor... I'm taking the kids and scrammin' to Target to do some shopping for Drama who has managed to put holes in every pair of pants she owns, and Turbo and Bear who just have no summer clothes. I'd buy me something, but everyone knows Target hates the short round folk. *I may actually be a hobbit... no way to know for sure as you can't mapquest Middle Earth...anyone know the post code? That might help.

McRed has just informed me the media is biased... NO WAY DUDE...

I am debating if I should sign my blog up for a blogroll on blogher. But I think the pressure would get to be too much. I'd have to try for 'coherent' and 'interesting' and I don't think I can do that.

I found a father's bloggroup, had some interesting blogs linked to it, made me realize, a) I need to add pictures and b) I should try for at least a little interesting and c) I'm a webiot. I don't know how to add stuff in the columns like they do, all those neat links, pics, friends, blog rolls, etc etc...

Well, time for me to call it a night. I have to go see my trainer, who shall be referred to as 'Buffalot' for obvious reasons. Today Buffalot told me not to skip tomorrow. PLEASE! I haven't skipped a training session in TWO WEEKS thank you....

I got crocs

Yes, I did. For once, I'm first in acquiring something that is 'hot' go me. Ugly, yes. But hot. And comfortable, dangit. in red. Daughter's didn't come, and she's been trying to claim 'emotional distress because I didn't get my shoes' as an excuse to not do her homework, chores etc etc. She worked up quite a bit of emotion over it, for someone that didn't show any interest in them at all until mine came. I've been wearing them all day to see if they are really as comfortable as everyone says. So far they are quite comfy...

I have read some blogs lately. Most of them, better than mine. And I noticed everyone in the families and friends get nicknames. So, I have decided to do the same.
Daughter's name is now "Dreary Drama" because all the drama is quite dreary.
Toddler A is now "Turbo" because man, the boy wakes up and literally, starts running.
Toddler B is now "Grumpy Bear" because, man, the boy wakes up and literally acts just like a big grumpy bear.
Husband is now "McJustliveshere because whenever he's being what he thinks of as 'clever' he says 'but don't mind me, I just live here....

No that won't work.
Daughter is just 'Drama'
Toddler A is 'Turbo'
Toddler B is 'Bear'
Husband is 'McRed' *for OBVIOUS reasons
El is Gravy... that's what you get for naming your blog a side dish
W. is Poker for similar reasons
S. is HA HA HA HA HA we'll just be kind and call her Munchie ... serves her right....
M. is Dakota because she lives in North Dakota *I know, I'm original*
Sister is 'DramaQ'
and anyone else I'll add in later.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Marketing Plan, finito


Next step, fret about the invariably *like that word* harsh editorial comments I will get, because I barely edited, and turned it in at a cool midnight:06 EST, 9:06 my time. Close enough not to get dinged by the 'late paper' point deductor. I'm not sure which class it is that specified midnight EST and which one is midnight local time zone, so it's better to be safe.

My 20 page paper is 15 pages. But I honestly couldn't spread it out five more pages! He will probably say something like 'wanted more explanation of marketing terms, back up stuff la la la' I know I know, it's a sucky paper. BUT it is done, and I am not going to mope about how sucky it is, the inevitably horrifyingly low grade I will get for it *I am always expecting someone to call my bluff, to say, this paper is shit... because it is... and this man, this instructor, why by golly, I think he's the man to do it... BUT tonight, I'm going to chug a corona, with lime yes, and celebrate that it's done, the references are correct *I think* the paper was spell-checked and edited, and the budget done four times, each with different outcomes, thanks to fuzzy lahdeeda math and imaginary numbers, and I think it makes sense, to read it.

Unfortunately, my derierre has been in this chairerre since noon today, and is sorierre. It also means someone hasn't been chasing toddlers A and B around since they woke up from their nap at 3:30. I will not survey the damage til tomorrow. Tonight is one of relief and celebration. And a nice comment to the man who didn't dare say anything about pizza night AGAIN because of the same paper I've been on about for a week and a half. *Yes, I've talked about the paper more than I've actually worked on it...

Ever wonder what it would be like to wake up in a tank and shorts, sans bra, something that deeply concerned Toddler B, and then realize that, fourteen hours later, not only are you wearing the exact same thing as you did when you went to bed last night, but what you are wearing is so skimpy it only actually looks good on you ten years ago, and now you just look like a bloated red-neck lady with long limpy hair? The Corona does add a nice 'southwestern trailer' aspect to it...but the cincher, the cincher is the children I never bothered putting clothes on...*it's hot and I had a paper due... what?...we weren't GOING anywhere...

and I wonder why the neighbors don't talk to me...

Tomorrow I shall look at the carnage and fret about the harsh comments and poor grade I'm going to get because I only spent a total of about three and a half days working on the paper we've had all semester to do.

On the bright side, said man is all for a cleaning service :)

Monday, April 24, 2006

A Day in Romper Room

Or my house.

I am not going to go through the whole day, hour by hour, minute by tortuous minute, it would bore.

All I'm going to say is, it was hot out today because we can't open the windows because certain pint-sized pre-schoolers a) knocked out the screen of one window and b) broke the tabs on the other screen so it's barely sitting in the window. We can't open the sliding door because one or more pint-sized pre-schoolers figured out how to undo the lock and both like climbing on the deck rails, which makes me nervous. I know it's not enough to have them pull themselves up and over and fall, but I am a mom...

Then, they napped at off-set hours, meaning the normal two-hour nap time was cut down to one actual hour's break for me, with that hour being taken up by a suspicious, light-sleeping toddler who ONLY would sleep if I were laying down, too. Apparently, it was felt that I needed a nap. I did, but not the paltry, sad toddler-yelling-at-me-to-sleep hour I got.

My daughter decided to not actually do anything she was supposed to, and then tried to be dramatic in the hopes that her cries of how hard her childhood *yes she actually told me her childhood was hard* would make me feel so bad for her that I just let her play.

Now, I strictly blame el husbando for the daughter bit. He let her out of cleaning her room this weekend because he wanted her to get out and have fun, so now of course, she doesn't do anything. One thing they push with ADD kids is that if you don't make them earn everything, they will do nothing... they are goal-oriented and everything they do must have a purpose to it.

So, now I'm waiting for my daughter to finish up and disappear so I can finally finish my paper in piece. The paper I wanted to finish about seven hours ago.


Sunday, April 23, 2006

Strawberry fields forever...

Okay, more like a strawberry bed surrounded by sunflowers.

I'm really excited. My garden plans have officially taken off. I emptied out one garden bed of all chives and funky plants I don't understand or want, and planted nothing but strawberries and sunflowers. I had to go sparse on the sunflowers, we don't want them to shadow the strawberries! I then planted two artichokes in a different area. So excited.

The next area is going to be a bit more mixed. It'll have tomatoes, marigolds, onions, peppers and basil, but they may be spread alongside the fence wall because my second raised garden bed is going to house my 'butterfly garden' and my cutting garden. The cutting garden is going to house a lot of bulb plants that I'll add in the fall as well as summer plants. I refuse to go look at bulbs now though, because I want to get the garden in shape for summer before I start worrying about next spring.

The third and final garden bed is, and I'm so excited about this idea, is going to house my sunflower house for the children. I'm going to plant sunflowers and then add runner beans and morning glory to make the walls. The inside of the 'house' will have some shade-loving ground cover or maybe just dirt who knows, it's kids right :) and in front of the sunflower house will be some other flowers if there's room :) Just google 'sunflower houses' and you'll get a whole bunch of plans :).

I mean, okay there is STILL a lot to do in the garden, but I'm making progress and my strawberry bed is so nice looking ha ha ha. I will do the shade gardens as soon as they arrive in the mail. One shade garden is going in a dark, moist corner spot that is bare of nothing but dirt and weeds between a rhododendrum *I think* and an umbrella-sorta-tree that provides shade.

Unfortunately, I can't recall what I said I was going to do on the border between my yard and the neighbor's yard, where I currently have tulips. If anyone remembers, please let me know! My foundation bed in the back is shade, so that's great. The one's on the side of the house are going to house my perennial border gardens *I think, I really wish I didn't lose that important piece of paper ha ha ha...

Then, I'm going to mulch mulch mulch muahhaaa... I'm using straw/grass for the garden beds and stuff in the back, but the pathways will need bark mulch.

I looove my garden ideas.

I want to add more vegetables, and try things like pumpkins and cucumbers and such, but I really think at this point, I should stick to what I have, get the garden in order, and THEN next year add new crops.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Friday, April 21, 2006

Rain to Sun

I'll be danged. The sun came out. To garden, or not? Who knows. I need to put the plants I bought in the ground before they die. Maybe a bit of gardening today and tomorrow.

I went to the gym today. Day four which is my 'goal' and today I brought the boys, even though they hadn't been to the babysitting room in a while. The room was overcrowded, but they were fine. I saw my trainer who asked, "Are you dying since it's been so long" and I was like WHATEVUH... the truth is, I wasn't dying at all. Then I pointed out that this was my fourth time this week so Ha. Then he turned all encourage-y and told me to keep it up and not slow down la la la... to the effect that I'm counting calories again to make sure I don't overindulge because if I'm going to the gym four times a week, dammit... PLUS summer is coming...

And I hate the fact I need outside motivation. I like to think I'm smart enough, determined enough, willful enough, etc etc to just 'do it' on my own. But no. Left to my own devices, I will drown in Haagen Das' Bailey's ice cream.


Rainy Day

I've got sunshine... on a rainy day...

It's raining... the soft pitter patter of raindrops lulled me deeper into the cocoon that was my comforter. I'm enjoying a nice cup of coffee before everyone wakes up. Yes, I missed the morning gym gig, but I'll just take the boys to babysitting later this morning and do it then... it's funny how I love rain. We've had four days of gorgeous sunny weather, and today, rain... and I'm happy to see it. I missed it. I like a nice mix of sunny and rainy days. Truthfully, I'm a gray skies kinda gal. I enjoy sunshine, I do, but something about rain after a few days of sun really cheers me up. Odd, I know. But do you know what this rainy day means? This afternoon is LAZY DAY... the perfect excuse to not do anything :)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My new friend, the flowers...

My garden will be neat and orderly and pretty way before my house is clean.

For my house to get anywhere near the attention my garden is getting, it would have to rain a lot.

I ALMOST de-mossed my small back patio before Twin A protested. They'd been out for an hour and a half without snacks or juice, so they were ready for a break. An hour and a half is pretty good with the boys. The small back patio is my workspace for the rest of the garden. I may splurge on some cheap outdoor work area for it :)

So I managed to trim this crazy bush thing that I should have trimmed this winter. It has just started showing signs of growth, but not much, and I think it's because I didn't cut it back. I pulled up some MAJOR weeds, those big sprawling kinds that just take up a lot of space, maybe they are dandelions, I'm not sure. Gone. Twin A also de-transplanted one of my transplanted plants by dumping it on the ground. Twin B ran away with my scissors, emptied out my soda, and stole my rake. Despite them, I managed to cut some fresh tulips for the house, do the de-weeding, trim some more lavender, water my transplanted plants, and survey the landscape for when my gardens arrive. I say gardens, because I literally ordered four different garden plans online. I wasn't going to go crazy, but they were having a 'half-price' sale, so for $200 I got $400 worth of stuff. Then I got some bulbs to fill in where the tulips are. I have decided to do all bulbs on my property line, for spring and summer, and ooh I just can't wait...

Husband has 'buy a wheelbarrow and mulch' duty this weekend. I am going to solve the problem of my compost bin being full on the top but not full on the bottom my using a lot of the compost soil this weekend. I should have stirred it more this winter. Oh well. Live and learn.

This year, I am sooo prepared for my garden. Last year, it overwhelmed me. This year, I'm ready to rip everything I don't understand up *unless it looks neat and is thriving - weeds excepted:) * and put in plants I do understand.

Now, I have to actually pay some attention to the mess that is indoors.

I am sooo glad I blew off the mom's club thing. Playing in the garden is much better than packing up the kids and driving to someone's house to sit indoors on a nice day trying to pretend you're having a good time despite the fact nobody is really talking to you....

Besides, there's always bunco...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Gym Blues


My trainer lectured me.


I need to do cardio... 4 times a week, and I won't see any results til I do, and we're going to take a break from my training if I don't do the cardio.

Okay he was nice about it, but he totally slipped it in when I wasn't suspecting and was all like, lecturey and 'you need to make this 'Lisa time' and go to bed earlier and have the husband take the kids la la la la'

Okay so he's right.
And he was like 'I will not let you waste money' and laughed but I can tell he was annoyed. He likes results. I'm not so far a results person. *Yes yes I am AWARE if I did cardio 4X a week, I probably would be...

The thing is, I don't WANT to get up at 6 a.m. to go to the gym four times a week, which is pretty much what I have to do. I don't mind the gym. I don't even mind the cardio. I mind the time.

But I have to go four times a week so I have to get up at 6 a.m.

So bah.

Oh the babysitting room is great, but if you NEED to go to the gym two or three times a week, it is dependent on the children, and just plain old argh.


We're just going to keep that whole Cadbury Creme Egg and Easter Holiday 'there goes the eating plan' thing to ourselves aren't we....

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Argh, the plan, that damn plan

I am bound and determined to finish this plan tonight and send it off tomorrow so that my professor can critique it and give me a week to fix it so that I can avoid doing the final exam. If I get a B between this project and the rest of my work, I get to skip out of the final :). Considering I only got a mere 80 on the midterm, I may not have a high enough grade point average....

So the bottom line is that yes, there are three blogs for one day, and yes, I may still be up at 3 in the morning...

Why the Easter Bunny Failed

I failed in my duties as Easter Bunny, my husband woefully so. It was not meant to go down like this. We had a plan. We did some eggs. My daughter was going to decorate some more, I with her. Then we were going to hide the candy in plastic eggs and let the kids find them after they ooh'd and aahh'd over their modest easter baskets. This did not happen.

So what did happen?

All day Saturday the children destroyed the living room and kitchen while I did my marketing plan *which I must finish tonight* and my husband watched them. They went to bed a little later, and we ordered pizza, which got here around nine, and we started watching the original campy Ten Commandments with my daughter, who was dying eggs on commercials. I didn't do the kitchen, and I totally got sucked into the ten commandments while sitting at my computer avoiding my marketing paper. How did I do this? By doing this instead
Yes, all 300+ comics. I started at 81, and just went...

I was so exhausted from five hours of marketing planning that I didn't have the energy to stop myself... no will power... So at midnight, when I realize a) the Ten Commandments is never going to end, b) my daughter is up, and c) we've done no easter bunny work, I got up and started the basket-putting-together thing while shoo'ing my daughter off to bed assuring her the Ten Commandments ends pretty much like the cartoon Prince of Egypt, and that the latter is actually more dramatic. When, CRAP, Toddler B wakes up. Greeat.

I go get him to save Toddler A from being roused only to discover Toddler A was right behind me. I put them in my bed, they started falling asleep, and I went back to easter basket mode. For about ten minutes, untl they realized there was nothing stopping them from actually getting up and playing... which they did. At 12:30 at night. Toddler B left while Toddler A stayed cozy under the covers. He took all the grass out of the easter basket and wanted to color. Finally, I give up and do the easter baskets with Toddler B in tow. He may never fully believe in the easter bunny now, because of this memory of mommy filling baskets, but he only has himself to blame. We then watched Moses part the red sea, and I got a motivational "TA DA" from Toddler B.

Toddler A came out when the baskets were done and after Moses parted the sea, so his childhood is still intact. I forsee many philosophical brawls around the issue of the existence of childhood mythical figures between the two, and I will have to protect Toddler A's childhood by denying the truth to Toddler B, lying outright to his bubbly, chubbly, red-faced cries of 'But mom I SAW you' further damaging his childhood, but really, Toddler B only has himself to blame.

Anyhow, finally husband comes upstairs and realizes that omigosh, the boys are up. He takes A, I take B, and it's clear at this point, 12:45 a.m., they are coming to bed with us.

It then becomes clear around 1:30 a.m. they are sooo going back to their own beds. They managed to have a fight over their stuffed animal, steal most of the pillows, and fail to actually go to sleep. They stayed up playing til about 2:30 a.m. Maybe later, I dont' know. I fell asleep to the sound of the 'Farmer in the Dell' toy.

This means, of course, I was too exhausted to get up early enough to fill and hide the eggs, and remember that the easter bunny also brought them a nice Little People woodsman set, complete with friendly dragon, archer, and working catapult.

So at least I put the baskets on the coffee table. At least they got their chocolate, my dd got her cute watch, and my husband eventually got coffee and they eventually got the woodsman set. Husband helped clean the kitchen of his own free will. *He said he can't grill happily when the kitchen is messy, something I must remember... and tonight we are celebrating easter with a meal of grilled steak and beer.... I know I know, it wouldn't kill us to break tradition every now and again...

Happy Easter

Next year, we may outsource the bunny.

Ten chapters

and ten more to go.

The problem is I took a month off, unwillingly. It was a month of trying to do the whole 'when do I write' thing and sorting my schedule out between allthe things I overbooked myself on.

So the schedule for writing is fine, and the schedule for school is fine. My husband thinks I should ditch the mom's club cuz 'it just 'aint my bag' and I've never actually had fun attending anything with them. M. agrees. E. thinks I should just attend outdoor functions where I can bail and not get trapped. I am with E. My mom says ditch it, because, to quote Dr. Phil "How's it working for you?" This is what she says, and I think, it's not. Anyhow, I'm not stressing it anymore. I'm not going to the preschool playtimes and am going to attend safe, public, can walk away if I'm bored events :).

As for the story? Well go figure. I have to re-read all ten chapters, make notes about the changes I want to make, and then start on the second half. I wanted to just start the second half, but I just totally changed a major plot line and arrrghhh... this is what happens when you leave a story to long. It morphs into something else. Note about writing books... NUMBER THE FREAKIN" PAGES. I can't believe I didn't do this. My printer is spurting them out and they are all out of order....

Now, what should I really be doing? Finishing my marketing plan. Ah well, none of us is perfect. Besides it's Easter Sunday. I'll do it tonight.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

6 Pages, 18 to go

But I'm almost out of ideas. I'm going to have a 12 paged, double spaced marketing plan where the assignment called for no more than 20, and didn't specify double spaced or not. I'm hoping he meant double spaced.

I am almost done the first 'idea' draft. Then I will go back and find research to go along with all the stuff I just blithely listed as fact. Hopefully taht will add some pages. Then, I need to go add filler B.S.


Why does it need to be 20 pages? I mean REALLY! Isn't short and sweet the entire POINT in the business world?

My husband has the boys all day.
Tres grumpy man.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Loungewear Day

It was today, if you missed it. They don't usually announce it. Generally, it's ignored, because loungewear in the office *a way to describe pajamas without sounding lazy* is discouraged usually.

I managed to avoid getting out of my loungewear til 6 today. Of course, at this point, you wonder, why bother? Because I finally woke up, that's why. I think I am just exhausted from toddlerism and schoolism. I now know where they get their energy, they suck it from me! They are energy hogs stealing my energy! Actually, it went from sunny to rainy and warm to chilly, and the boys have runny noses again and that usually gets me too. I'm going to start drinking O.J. again and just drinking coffee with every meal and snack until they start kindergarten.

My new schedule works great when I don't nap when the boys nap ha ha ha. But take right now, this very instance, there is a toddler pulling on my chair, jumping and yelling 'UP UP UP' in my ear. It's been like this all day. "SIT" "UP" "EAT" "MORE" "PEEEZZZEEEEE" They missed playtime pals today because Ashton was coughing and his nose running and that is usually a recipe for a woozy of a day. They knocked me out by 1.

I may have a babysitter. We have a 'meet the boys' appointment on Wednesday *must clean house by then and play nice mom, rehearsal for nice mom act is Tuesday* and then if that works, a trial-run next Saturday afternoon. *Will bribe daughter with new gameboy game to pretend she isn't sarcastic and loves helping out with her brothers* If that all goes well, I'll have a babysitter! Yay! It helps that I pay well. Lets face it, with a nine year old and twin toddlers, you can't afford to pay on the light side....

And to all those who supported me and listened to my rant and got mad for me over the Evil Mom Hostess incident, I thank you. You were all suitably horrifed and mad for me. I felt loved. I didn't blog it because I don't ever want to go back to that place again.../trauma....

I'm going to eventually save that club from themselves. I will pull out and rescue the lost moms... I will find them... we will have our own club, with margueritas...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

A Little Justice

Ah, Karma...

That little sweet brace-faced dark haired Benedict that works at the gym that busted my ONE cheesburger lunch and set my trainer into rant-lecture mode for an entire session along with an insanely punishing workout designed to 'work off the cheeseburger' remember her?

She got busted.... with recess pieces... muahahaaaa.... Her trainer has been just as wonderful as mine, only mine has a shorter grudge span.

She had a cup of recess pieces and ten in her hand. N. (my trainer) threw the cup out and left her with just the ten, and told her trainer ha ha ha... Now, if she hadn't told on me, Karma would have been kinder, and would have let her finish the full cup before getting busted...

Ah, it's the little things...

Though I mean come on, if you WORK at the place your trainer works, and you're doing the whole 'apex' plan, you'd know to sneak your chocolate fixes rather than just blithely roaming around with chocolate. Ha ha...

And I haven't had any cheeseburgers thank you.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The New Horrible Ten Commandments

My husband is difficult when it comes to religion. I can't bring it up without him getting upset. Sometimes, he brings it up and gets himself all upset. He's very much a believer in spirituality, and living by moral codes, caring about one another, being non-materialistic *he knows this is a flaw of his, but he does acknowledge it* and so forth. He can't stand being judged by others, and being told he's going to hell. Nobody has actually yet told him he's going to hell, but there is always that possibility...he feels it whenever he walks by a Christian store, enters a church where an actual mass is being held *walking into an old empty church is more of an archaeological and architectual fascination and doesn't make him cringe* so anyhow....

He starts watching the second half of the new Ten Commandments, and I'm just glad he didn't watch the first half. I don't know if this was an anti-Christian movie, an anti-Jewish movie, an anti-God movie, an affirmation for those Christian diehards who think everyone who doesn't follow God should be slaughtered, or just a movie that the producers thought needed some more blood. By the time the movie was over, I received yet another rant about how he didn't see anything redeeming about religion in this film, since anyone who didn't follow God got killed, and hell, half of those that DID follow God, still got killed. It wasn't clear on who actually made it to eternal happiness, so he's assuming they all went to hell.

So let me go on to tell you what this is about, as briefly as possible. It resembles the biblical story somewhat, but the two should not be confused. And it's not really brief.

Moses is a Prince of Egypt, go him.
Moses finds out he's really not. Bummer.
Moses tells the Pharoah, Let My People Go.
Pharaoh says, No.
Moses unleashes ten plagues, one involving frogs. Now I admit, I honestly didn't believe there were frogs in Egypt. For some reason, I think swampland, anyhow, maybe there weren't any before, but then God sent them, and the ones that survived the fall, survived and flourished? Okay and the river of blood, always fun, that one.
So then Pharoah says "No." So the big bad one comes. The Angel of Death, still a sneaking, low-ground-cover mist that infiltrates the homes of all those that didn't smear blood on the door and kills the first-born sons. The version in Heston's film was more spooky. Okay, this is in the bible. Here's the thing, in the bible, Pharoah was clearly evil. In the Charlton Heston version, Pharoah, still evil. In this version, he's such a good father. Oh, he dotes on his cute son. He loves his son. Moses' made-up step-brother also has a son, who he loves. So the mean Angel of Death comes, and kills them all! Yikes! I felt sooo bad for the Pharoah and Moses' step-brother, they loved their sons, their sons were cute! How mean! Bad angel. Okay so then they each are shown carrying the bodies of their son as they anguish and grieve loudly, and you're like, why, why oh the poor babies...
Moses' step-brother asks 'Why?'
"Because a long time ago, your people came and killed my people and their children."
"I didn't, my son didn't."
"Well, God punished you anyhow."
"Your God is cruel." /agree.
Moses just looks pained. And mopey. He whined a lot, for the leader of a free nation. Okay so they go and get chased.
Flee into the desert.
They part the sea and Moses feels bad about all the Egyptian soldiers that die. Okay, I read that part, I didn't see it. I came after they fought the Philistines, I think, and then the Armaciens? (sp) who knows but by the time I got downstairs, they've already lost like, a gazillion people and had fought two battles.
I'm at the part where this woman and some guy that's close to Moses is having an affair. The scene makes no sense, until the husband catches them and loverboy kills him.
'Oh what did we do, lets hide the body' and then pretend nothing happened.'
Some little boy finds the body, and they decide to blame some poor schmuck no one likes, but Moses somehow knows the truth. So the people, the chosen promised more-worthy-than-anyone-else people descends into mob rule and just wants to stone the guy, just cuz. No proof, but man, if he's stoned, it's like, justice. Moses pulls the woman aside and talks to her and she pretty much confesses, but I gotta tell ya, she realized her mistake pretty much right away. The next thing that happened is he's yelling at the guy who he loves like a brother or something, because gee, now the mob rule and his enemies insist on justice. The justice? The woman he comforted, who confessed to him, and the guy? Well, Moses throws the first stone. Ouch. And then he blames God for making him kill them. Okay okay justice was cruel then, and really, they knew it, but like, in retrospect, shouldn't have confessed, and next time, leave him in the water and pretend he drowned. Hell, throw alcohol over him. He drowned while drunk. The two die looking at each other lovingly, while crying. Go Moses. Oh, the compassion.
So then Moses goes up the mountain and then down the mountain and offers the people a bargain. They all say yes. Silly silly people.
So then Moses goes up the mountain and comes down to a scene of debauchery and pagan partying and knocks down the false icon god and tosses the magic tablets that had God's word burned into them onto the ground... 15, no 10, 10 commandments... and there is an argument of words which results in two camps, the Moses camp, and the 'this God is too hard with his rules' camp. Of course, they all fight. There's lots of blood. In the end, there's a group of prisoners.
"What do we do with them?" *children and women included*
"Kill them all." says Moses. "It's God's will and they broke their word."
Okay so I'm like, wow man. This God is mean. I'm going back to the happy hunt god and the fertility and wine goddess and the love goddess and god of not killing lots of people.

This movie is supposed to be an uplifting tale of a nation of people freed from slavery who make it through the desert, get a few lectures from Charlton Heston on "Why Your Pagan Party and False Icons Are Bad" and then find their land and rejoice. Instead, it's this depressing story about a people who follow a moping Moses who keeps crying to God about how it's too hard to lead these people and how he just wants his wife *Who he sent away with his two sons* and not to be the guy that treks through the desert... talk about faith... The people are portrayed as blood-thirsty, cruel, mob-ruled brigands and thugs who don't value life at all, and this God apparently in this movie, is all about the mob justice... so it's totally depressing, not uplifting, and in the end you think, wow, Egypt was civilized and orderly. Pharoah wasn't such a bad guy, just a leader who loved his sons and had slaves. If he realized how angry and uncivilized and whiny this lot was, he would have let them go a long time ago. Really there was no need for all those plagues. Everyone in the bible had slaves, nothing new there.

This new nation? Wow. By the time they got to the promised land, 40 years later, I think there were ten of them. The rest either died in fights, were killed by stoning or murder, or just snuck off because they were scared if they went to the promised land and walked on the grass God would smite them.

Old Testament God = angry, jealous, vindictive, very much a war-lovin' kinda fella, intolerant, controlling and um, yikes, bit scary.
New Testament God = well, this has GOT to be a new God. Nice, loving, kinda guy you'd confess your sins too because he wouldn't smite you for it if you sincerely repented... etc etc. *Must have found himself a good PR firm...

Now keep in mind, this refers to the movie, not the actual bible, well, except for the bit where the old testament God is kinda scary and smite happy... /looks over shoulder...

bzzzt zap... fry....


What kind of animal are you?

For those who are compelled to do something that will take them away from whatever mundane, boring or dreaded task they are currently suffering through....

I'm a wolf. I eat badgers... ha ha ha.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Garbage Disposal Man Cometh

There is something about timing. Timing is key. If you are a woman, it's vital you read this. It will solve your 'he won't 'place project he's slacking on here, this includes things he must fix but hasn't'... he said he would, four months ago...

Now, I admit, it involves more than just timing. It involves patience. Patience if he hasn't done the floors even though he bought them three weeks ago, patience if the wall isn't painted yet, patience... your moment will come... and he will suddenly decide to finish the project, thinking it's all his idea.

Now, there are things where the patience threshold has to be shortened. For example, garbage disposals. I was without a garbage disposal for a few days. It was awful. What did we ever do with like, cereal? Asparagus? Mushy food remains that would clog the drain? Then I remembered! We clogged the toilets by flushing them down there! So I didn't want to do that, and had to eww okay I used a colander to keep the mushy solids from going down the drain. Now, some people would say 'just fix it yourself' and I would have, except I didn't know how.

But I know two people who would know how. M. who fixed my last one, but lives in Virginia and is just being downright rude about not moving out here, something about family and kids and settling and crap. Excuses. I need someone to go shopping with. She's almost as bad as E. who refuses to move out here because she has a job and just bought a house and all that. Bah. Anyhow, my husband can fix it. He is really good at fixing things, and doing projects, when he does them. He is good at all sorts of handy man stuff, actually better than most, if I don't mind saying so, and clearly I don't... But he doesn't like doing them, so it takes forever. Thus the floors... So he agreed to try. I told him how to fix it via M.'s advice. He hit the reset button. This, of course, is not what she said to do, but it counted as effort. He said 'call a plumber.' Whatever. I KNEW he didn't do the right thing but couldn't remember what it was. Then M. called and I asked her. But he didn't want anything to do with fixing the garbage disposal. At all. I was going to, but then opportunity... He was in Do Things Mode. This mode, once it hits, it's a focused 'must get this done' type energy that regenererates until the project is done. I think every man hits this mode. It's not just my husband, or maybe it's just badgers. My husband is a badger, grumpy workers extraordinaiire... anyhow, over the years I realized that once in the throes of this inexhaustable energy, it's supereasily redirected. It's not totally focused like I used to believe. He wants to rearrange the downstairs room, and this energy, this "Do Things Mode" is turned on. But, it was lunch time and I made him come up for a sandwhich. Still in the midst of this energy, I simply pointed out how he could fix the garbage disposal, right now, while I was making his sandwhich, since he was already upstairs and M. just told me how to do it... and HE DID! Without even commenting, grumbling or trying to get out of it *he spent a great amount of energy explaining why he couldn't fix it, but I sooo know him better...*

See, it was timing. And this "Do Things Mode' is fairly common, you just have to be on the lookout for it. Any sudden interest in cleaning, something as small as you see your man stacking soda bottles neatly, or rounding up all the mail, or pulling out the vaccuum, he's in the mode... snag him and redirect him to the thing you really want done.... It takes practice...

The only problem is my badger is pretty intuitive himself, and an hour later, apparently figured it out, and whined to me about how he didn't understand how I got him to fix the garbage disposal and how he felt tricked... Well, I just reminded him that at least it's done and he doesn't need to fork out $300 just to have the stupid quarter that was stuck in there taken out...

Now, some of you are saying, what about the floors? He hasn't done them yet... No, but he will, and you know why? He secretly hates the turquoise carpet more than I do. So I'm patiently waiting... one night, soon, he will see the turquoise and break out in hives, and I will say 'well, this weekend is a light one for me, if we want to get those hives to go away, I can keep the kids off you so you can finish the floors...


Okay, maybe it's just that I'm evil....

Monday, April 10, 2006

Caffeine Diet

I have a new schedule, now that my husband avoided putting down the floors upstairs and helped me move my computer and accessories (like the desk) into the living area where I can monitor my little ones while trying to get SOME work done. So the new schedule would have worked out fine today if I didn't oh, fall asleep. I blame the weather, and the gym. It started out cold, perfect gray chilly day, to cold to let the kids play and do the garden, just right enough to wear comfortable bummy clothes and sit at the computer with coffee while the little ones buzz around the playmat behind me. Unfortunately, the sun came out. Which, usually, is wonderful. I love taking the boys out and letting them roam while I managed to do one or two small gardening tasks out of the thousands that need getting done. But the sun came out, I was overdressed, the fireplace had been on, and all that heat indoors, well it relaxed my muscles. My muscles were sore. I went to the gym today and did an hour and a half workout. The hour with my trainer who, after I called in sick last Thursday, and called and cancelled, than uncancelled this weekend, was in a fit thinking I was ditching him and he was failing. A trainer with a complex, like I need ANOTHER emotionally needy person in my life? DUDE I'm just DEAF and my ears are 'overproducers of wax' it's nothing personal. Of course, to alleviate his concerns, I decided to gross him out. So I realzied my whole issue with the losing weight is cardio. I've lost one size *YAY GO ME* but now I need to do more cardio to lose another size. We've changed my routine a bit so I'm on different machines and doing different cardio, but I'm going to try to get in there and actually DO three days of cardio. I'm doing this by doing cardio the days I go in the gym.

To sum up a really long, rambling paragraph, between working out today and moving furniture around yesterday and getting to bed late last night, I am exhausted. So I napped after my hour and a half of writing. Yes, it should be two, but some jackass sent me some dumb quiz about 'what type of animal am I' and to be honest, I just can't say no to quizzes. Then I had to find out what everyone else was. We all have our weaknesses.

So the solution? The thing I needed to do that I failed to do today?

Caffeine. I didn't drink nearly as much caffeine as I normally do on a daily basis. That, combined with a day where I worked out and tried to think *In the same day, I was really pushing myself today* was clearly going to lead to a two hour snooze on the couch.

I'd write more, but I just realized I need to pick up my daughter.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Deaf Old Bat

Apparently, ear wax is what keeps insects from crawling into our ears, and eating our brains up. Because I produce a large amount of wax, I'm pretty much impervious to brain-eating bugs. So there is that. On the downside, I won't be able to hear for a few more days or a week, or ever, depending on how well these drops work. I got too dizzy when they tried to flush the ears out, and the nurse said she couldn't get it all, and it's better if I just use the drops and come back when the wax is more malleable.

Now, isn't that just gross? The thing about bugs not crawling in my ears keeps me going though.

I haven't actually done any cardio this week. Here's why though. It's not about the cardio, it's about the diet. So I'm not worrying too much about it. I am trying to make better choices and forget that freakin' eat between 1450 and 1550 calories every day. I can't keep track. But I do eat three times a day with two snacks, now, including breakfast. I will incorporate cardio next week, but this week, well okay, this week I've totally blown it off. Having a clogged ear may not hurt but it's very disconcerting. Plus I was super congested and needed to take nyquil. You can't get up at 5 a.m. when you take Nyquil at 11 p.m. Ther'es no way.

Last night we had a late-night visitor. Apparently ear wax does nothing for preventing your spawn from thinking you're a mattress. At 2 a.m. Twin B was at the gate bellowing for Mommy maaammma mmaaaammmoooommyyy and I had to whisk him out before he woke up Twin A, who generally, once woken in the middle of the night, wants to play. Twin B was very chatty and didn't fall asleep until about an hour and a half later... ugh...

So hopefully this will be a long nap for them.

As for my eldest daughter, grounded for three days for her miserable behavior in school *she had to sit outside the classroom* she comes home yesterday wielding a "great day" signature on her blue sheet. Please forgive me, but I checked to see if it was a forgery. She's not a normally dishonest kid, but I don't understand how you go from classroom pariah to GREAT DAY overnight.

We'll see if the trend continues. Our only real hope is that she somehow survives our experiment in parenting.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Ear Drama

Not really.

I only hear muffled sounds out of my left ear. I cleaned it out with hydrogen peroxide and water and that worked for a bit. Last night, I took Nyquil, and that helped more. It started popping on it's own today, but now it's re-fuzzy. I have an appt. tomorrow. I want antibiotics dammit! I'm sure it's a sinus infection. I'm major allergy girl in the spring. Usually I take sudafed, but instead I've been taking clariton which to be honest, between sudafed and clariton I don't know if i notice a difference, which means I probably need prescription medication for allergies ha ha ha. I've never actually seen anyone about them though, I just tough spring out and avoid living in areas where it is always spring or summer. The only good thing about my ears is my husband has to get up with the boys, I can't hear them crying in the morning...

Running toddlers

If your toddler sees you, smiles, and runs... you should probably chase him. He either has your cell phone and is calling his aunt, your deodorant and is either eating it or painting himself with it, or your jewelry box because it's treasure.

I don't think he ate it this time, and at least he smells really good now. I did have to smooth out teeth-marks on my husband's right guard, sport scent, cuz I think it smells sexy.... the teeth mark would have upset my dear hubbie too much though.

I spent an hour looking for the kid's toothpaste. My daughter couldn't find it anywhere. Well, Twins A and B happen to be going through a slight addiction phase with watermelon toothpaste. Apparently, one of them decided to stash it and his toothbrush in the bottom of their hanging cloth shelf dragon thing. Like I'd look there? They also hid the remote batteries on me. Wouldn't tell me where they were, oh but daddy? Daddy asks, 'where's the batteries?' and good little Twin A leads him right to it, smiling and oh so proud. I asked Twin A where they were. He shrugged his shoulders and put his arms out 'wuuhhh?' he says. 'down?' and he sends me all over the house. 'where?' he asks. Grrr.

Twin B's new word: Mine.

Anyone with toddlers or husbands know how overjoyed I am.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


If I get a B in marketing, I will be very happy.
Especially since I need to maintain a B-average for the program.

If I don't get a B in marketing, I'm going to just get a second bachelor's in something I find interesting.

To be fair, I haven't given this class the time it needs. Mainly, because I don't have that time.

I have re-prioritized my life to this:


This means, that pretty much, nothing actually gets done.

It's amazing how liberating it is to simply accept you can't actually accomplish anything. I am relaxed, because I know how impossible it is with the three kids to do any of the above three things.

I told my husband tonight that after cleaning the living room three times *an attempt to prove my theory that it really is best to just not bother til they are in bed* and doing the kitchen twice *why oh why does Twin A think face painting with food is fun?* and barely squeezing online in time to put up two made up posts for a chapter I haven't read yet before the midnight deadline *I am not fooling him with my natural brilliant skills with marketing, it is pretty obvious I haven't read this last chapter* and realizing there aren't enough days for my cardio for the gym, and able to, once outside, LOOK at my huge, bloomin' tulips but not actually add soil to my needy snapdragons, that he could expect nothing to get done until first grade. I said, when the boys are in kindergarten, I will enjoy coffee and write. When they are in first grade, I will enjoy coffee, write, and garden. I assured him the house will be clean when they are in school.

He is looking forward to that day, and I told him, just four more years to go... and then, the house will be clean.

Til then, dude, you're lucky I'm even attempting order.

Sooo the post-kids at the aunt's memo:
Tidbits from my conversation with my sister this morning:

Twin B is Chaos. *Yes, capitalized.*
Twin B has no fear. He tried to fake us out because he didn't want us to go down the big slide with him. I've never climbed monkey bars so fast trying to catch him.
Twin A climbs better than Twin B.
But Twin A at least has the sense to recognize some things are too scary.
Twin B isn't as good a climber, which is good, because he has no fear.
Twin A, you can see him thinking. Twin B figures stuff out, but you can see thoughts around Twin A.
They ate us out of house and home. We have no food now. I've never seen anyone eat so much. I can't believe they ate everything.
Twin B hit me with his toothbrush and then threw it. I told him I wasn't happy and then all of a sudden, he needed a I hugged him.

Heh. Honestly, from 0 to 3 kids, they did pretty good. I don't get how they managed to keep their house clean though. Like, yes when we dropped them off, but it would have been nice to oh I don't know, have seen some evidence of chaos and mess-beyond-normal-means. Okay but they only had them for two and a half days. I will drop them off for a week, THEN see what her house looks like... I mean come on, I can't be the ONLY person struggling to have ONE clean room!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Anniversary Weekend

Friday morning, we packed up and headed out. We were reminded constantly throughout the trip why we were dropping the kids off and heading out on our own for the weekend. Some kids travel well. Then, there are our kids.

We ditched them. My eldest couldn't wait til we left. Twin B was too busy giggling to notice us leaving, but Twin A, ahhh, that boy, too much thinking in that brain of his... he saw us, and silently, quietly, determinedly, without making eye contact, just started walking with my husband back to the truck heh... he was soooo on to us.... almost made me feel bad... almost... the look on his face made me want to pick him up and hug him and apologize for even CONSIDERING for a moment leaving his preciousness, but I realize what that look is, and if I cave in to it now, than he will recognize the true power it holds, and will not hesitate to unleash it on the world. I don't know WHY his look, that face, that expression, it's like he's radiating thoughts outward... his sister can't do it, his brother can't do it, but man, he's got it. We fear, my husband and I, with that one. We just don't know who we fear for, him, or the world.

So I shook the look and embraced the maniacal mean mom in me and laughed all the way to the hotel while my husband focused all of his willpower on making the traffic go away... we got there, valet parking, free, yes, free. They took our bags to the room for us, we checked in, gorgeous hotel, really nice. Cute concierge, possibly gay not sure, I'd ask my husband but he's got the world's worst gaydar. Cute doormen. The hotel had a vintage feel to it, which suited me fine. We went up to the room and checked out the bathroom, ahhh the tub. At the sight of the tub, our plans for the night were pretty much made... wine tasting in the lobby, dinner at the restaurant, Pazzo's, very worth it, and um, the rest of the night in the tub, with lavender and rose accents.

The tub was huge. It was as tall as me and you needed a step to get in it. It had two seats and lots of jets and the hotel had enough hot water to fill it. My husband informed me we can't have one in our house because our floor isn't strong enough to hold it. So there was a bottle of champagne and rose petals strewn about. My husband didn't care for the rose petals but I loved them. While he was sleeping, I threw the petals all over him, muahahaaa. Between the lavender bath salts and the rose petals, he smelled florarly the whole weekend. I wonder if that in anyway influenced his decision to break out of navy, gray and black shirts and flirt with stripes in shades of blues, purples and dare I say the color, lilac.... Well they look good on him anyhow. He actually purchased something from Bananna Republic, the store that hates short, curvy women. P.S. some of my tall friends should go check out their pants though, they are comfortable and made for long legs.

So, what did we do all weekend?

Well, DUH, ten year anniversary... big ass tub, king-sized bed .... why are you asking?

Anyhow, we also got some major shopping in, walked through Portland's Saturday Market, got bored with the Pearl District *not quite the right season* and found out where all the bums in Portland live. *Burnside Bridge if you're ever in the area and need to get rid of some old blankets, food, booze... We then wandered around downtown and had fun shopping without children. We went to one of those sushi places that have the private screens and the mats, but, the best thing? they recognize westerners mostly have bad knees, so they put holes under the table, so it LOOKS traditional, but you're really comfortable... I haven't had sushi in so long, I pretty much just inhaled it all. We tried saki, hot, and well, I think people who say they like saki just say it too sound oh, special. I mean, it WILL warm you up...

So what did we learn after ten years of marriage?

We're going to have a blast when the kids are finally out of the house... 16 years and counting...
We're going to do this again, 20th anniversary a cruise.
One night into the weekend, the cruise was moved to the 15th anniversary.
Second night into the weekend, the cruise was moved to 'the first anniversary we can afford to drop a few K on the cruise'

We also decided when we will do another weekend getaway... we are going to give the kids to my sister and brother-in-law as soon as is reasonably decent... probably after I do a visit with the kids to spend time with my loving, adoring, wonderful, sister who is the best aunt in the whole world and the uncle whom the children adore so much they even now, in their sleep, are dreaming about the next time they can spend time there, sharing special moments with their aunt and uncle, and the two big slobbering beasts they've come to love so...

Really, it'd be easier if my husband's step-father and his mom moved out here, than we could alternate.... but you can't expect people to change their entire lives just to suit you, but still, one can send out the 'move out west' vibes, it's not like vibes are traceable. Can't prove it anyhow.

We picked up the boys Sunday. My daughter wanted to stay. The boys got their jackets on and said 'bye bye.' My son, the one with that look, glared at me until he was satisfied I understood his displeasure with my leaving him. He then wouldn't go near me for an hour. Boy, that kid can hold a grudge. My other son? His emotions are immediate. He's VERY happy or VERY mad or VERY sad. Then, after the VERY big explosion of associated emotion, he's back to normal, which is, well, loud.

So today was 'back to normal' day. What did I do, my first day back in messy suburban life? Um.
Well. I made it to the gym this morning to discover I'd been ratted out on last weeks' McDonalds trip... oooh I hope sparky gets her curling brush stuck in her hair... after that wonderful weekend to be ratted out... then, I went home, and recovered by sleeping for three hours :). Tomorrow is back into schoolwork, housework, momwork and paperwork.

That word, work... /shudder